sirona_fics: (Default)
I read this fascinating article today (seriously mind-blowing, I heartily recommed you give it a go) -- and now I would like to talk about it. :)

Okay so I have maybe been having A LOT OF THOUGHTS since I read this. Isn't it fascinating what the brain perceives as 'real'? This is The Matrix all over again -- what is real? Is it real just because you can smell and touch it? Or is it just as real when it's only our brains that perceive it? After all, what is 'real' if not impulses that the brain interprets? So who's to say that by reading, and writing as we do; and by having deep, meaningful relationships online with people we have never met, that they aren't real? That we aren't just as loved by them as by people we have seen, smelled, touched? God, I could read 48754974 words on the subject. This ties in neatly with the AI thoughts I've been having of recent -- sometimes I wish I'd had the foresight to go into neuroscience while I was at uni, because I could talk about this shit FOREVER.


Gives a whole new meaning to 'lost in a good book', not to mention living vicariously through so-called 'fictional characters' -- because aren't we, all of us, fictional characters to other people? I mean, really? Certainly we are to sociopaths, but why is it easier to insult or bully someone online, for example, as it is to do it to someone IRL, even though that person online is just as real as the person sitting next to you on the train, only they're sitting a continent away from you?


I have, for the past five years, lived my life through fictional characters so much more than in reality. And anyway, who the fuck are people to tell me that to me, this isn't just as real as their spouses they come home to every night? Who's to say that I haven't been in a relationship for the past eight-odd years, when I am in one every night when I open up a book, or my 'to-read' list of fic bookmarks? It's really all a question of perception, and how we choose to interpret our own experiences. Who's to say that this isn't my real life, rather than a state of fugue while I wait for it to begin?


...Wow, I appear to have A LOT OF THOUGHTS on the subject. But it's just so utterly fascinating to me. Descartes ftw! :) By all means, if you find this as fascinating as I do, come talk to me! :)

sirona_fics: (let's poke it with a stick)
Roses have been planted, and the table and chairs have been reinstated on the terrace. :D Good day so far.

I have survived my first few days of twitter and tumblr immersion! \0/ \0/ *relieved face* It's so much fun, though, I'm surprised I resisted for so long. BUT IT IS SERIOUSLY TIME-EATING, which when you're doing a 12hr shift by yourself is A BLESSING, but not so much when you're actually supposed to do work and stuff. D: I was meant to be doing edits on our avengers_bang rough draft, but shocking no one, I am nowhere right now. And it's Sunday, and I need a break, so today it isn't happening either. >.>;; I'll have to do better than that. :( Tomorrow it's coffee shop + laptop time, I feel. THERE IS JUST SO MUCH PRETTY TO LOOK AT. *______* Today there has been A LOT of bookshelf porn that has made me all warm and fuzzy. There was also this:



...WHICH IS THE FIRST THING I AM BUYING FOR MY FLAT WHEN IT'S FINALLY MOVING TIME. *______________* THE ONLY THING I WILL EVER NEED, SERIOUSLY. I WANTS IT, PRECIOUS. I WOULD NEVER MOVE IF I HAD THIS IN MY LIVING ROOM. WOULDN'T NEED A BEDROOM EITHER.

And then, of course, there's Jeremy Renner. ALL OF JEREMY RENNER (link a bit NWS). Here's a little something to illustrate:



BECAUSE I MEAN. *________*

There was also suit porn. IN OTHER WORDS, TUMBLR IS FULL OF THINGS THAT ARE RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS.

Okay, things other than tumblr. Guys, I would LOVE to talk about this. There are other sci fi geeks here, aren't there? (I'm... not the only one, right? D:) This is something Fassy said (about his character) in an interview on Prometheus (not at all spoilery for the film, but just in case, I don't want to spoil anyone )
sirona_fics: (the girl who waited (in the garden))
Boosting the signal--

Exceptionally interesting essay on History and Historiography here: there are many names in history, and all of them are ours by [livejournal.com profile] postcardmystery. I literally could not look away once I started reading it, and not just because it elaborates on topics that have long been my personal belief. If you're into history, this is fascinating stuff.

All right. Now I'm off writing X-Pride II. I have started sending pieces out to the two people who (long ago) volunteered to be my second set of eyes, and initial reactions have been... promising. :D

Failing that, the singer!Clint/baker!Phil thing has also been going rather well. :D WORDS ARE WORKING. \0/ \0/ We'll see how long that one's gonna last. I've still got White Collar and a bunch of the Oscar nominees to watch. Procrastination, I HAZ IT.
sirona_fics: (Default)
This is a personal post, basically, so, uh, you know. To whom it may concern? By which I mean, skip and read and reply as it takes your fancy! :)


Day 5

In your own space, share something non-fannish you are passionate about with your fannish friends. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


And not long ago this phenomenal cat produced seven kittens right out of a hat! )


Day 7

In your own space, create a list of at least three fannish things you'd love to receive, something you've wanted but were afraid to ask for - a fannish wish-list of sorts. Drop a link to your wish-list in this post. Maybe someone will grant a wish. Maybe you will grant a wish. If any wishes are granted, we'd love it if you link them to this post.


You have seen it one moment, and then it is gone! But you find it next week lying out on the lawn! )


Day 8

In your own space, talk about a talent (or talents) you have. Everyone's got something they're good at. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees! )

All right, enough about me. If you made it all the way through, I salute you. <3We now return you to our regularly scheduled squee fest. \0/
sirona_fics: (never leave me)
I promise I'll stop some time soon, but these two posts, I just had to share them. Stunningly insightful, I just, I AM ALL AFLUTTER AT THE BEAUTY AND GENIUS OF THEM. WOW. So this is what it must be like to be so sharp you could cut yourself. The second one in particular... I would very much like to curl up at this person's feet and listen to hir talk all night long. I think I am a little bit in love.

"We're not a couple." "Yes, you are." -- A meta on Sherlock and John's relationship that is the closest thing to canon I have yet to read.

What might we deduce about his heart? -- An absolutely mindblowing observation on symbolism in ASiB. Hot damn.
sirona_fics: (never leave me)
For those still thinking about the issues in Sherlock 2.01, there is an excellent meta post here, at [livejournal.com profile] knowmydark's journal. Be sure to check out the comments -- some excellent points have been raised on both sides of the debate, and it makes for some really informative reading.

Me? I still don't think the episode was uniformly sexist, or intended as such. It wasn't what I saw when I watched it, although I understand that the experience was not the same for other people -- and that is all fine, because it would be a boring old world if we all felt the same, and also we need people with different perceptions of what we see to make us think about the other side of the debate.

However I am definitely happy to concede that certain issues could have been handled much better, with regards to the source material (which I am not intimately familiar with, and as such do not feel qualified to discuss -- it is probably this fact that is colouring my perception of this episode and the handling of Irene's story arc, as well as her character. I see only what I am shown -- and this is what my last post was based on. I guess I should have made that clear at the start). My views on Irene's sexuality and character remain the same. Again -- different people, different perceptions of what we saw. It's why eye witnesses can be so bloody tricky at crime scenes.
sirona_fics: (Default)
Happy New Year, guys! ♥


Let's see. 2011 was a bit of a pain in the arse, won't lie. It was a horrible, uncertain year for many people. For me, it was coming to terms with loss, with who I am, with the fact that it's all right to grieve, and it's not my fault, the reason behind the grief. That I should stop hating myself for what happened, and I should cut myself some slack already. That I deserve good things, too.

Also it was the year when my wonderful, beloved nephew was born, and for that I will always be more grateful than I can say.

Righty-ho. Let's take a look at last year's resolutions and what happened there.

2011 - pass or fail? )

And now for a few 2012 resolutions. This year, like the last, I'm going to borrow my wishes to you from a master wordsmith, someone who puts it far, far better than I ever could.

...I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

It's the best message I could leave for myself -- because if this past year has proven anything, it's that the world does need more kindness. Anything after that is immaterial. Be kind to people, but first and foremost, be kind to yourself. All the rest of it will fall in place by itself.

Here's hoping. )

I think that's enough to be getting on with. :) Here's to a bloody fantastic year, one way or another. Hey, we might all be dead this time next year. Let's live it in a way we can be proud of. AND FILL IT WITH BOYS AND GIRLS IN LOVE. BECAUSE THERE ARE FEW THINGS BETTER. ♥

Lastly: You guys are ALL MY FAVOURITES. Thank you for being the people you are. <3<3<3
sirona_fics: (bucky gives me all the feels)
So I've just watched this episode of Criminal Minds (while what I should be doing is finishing edits on my [profile] secret_mutant assignment, goddamn it X/), BUT. Okay, it's season 3, the one where there was this genius comic book artist that had a psychotic breakdown and murdered the guys who attacked him and his girlfriend/fiancee six months ago? Anyway, it's not important (although it's a bloody brilliant episode) -- the important thing is the last few minutes, as the team flies back to HQ (people who watch the show will know what I'm on about), and one of them muses how the guy was just an ordinary man not long ago, before he was forced to turn into this cold-blooded killer by circumstances, and wonders whether we all have that potential in us.

And now I'm having these thoughts, tangled up in Metanoia-influenced musings, of cold-blooded killers that murder with a steady hand because their victims are bad, bad people who damn well deserve it; of heroes tangled up in villains, The difference between a hero and a villain is one really bad day (I'll be damned if I know where that comes from; this particular version of events is Jesse's, I think -- [personal profile] zolac_no_miko, correct me if I'm wrong); “The noir hero is a knight in blood caked armor. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time.” (that one is Frank Miller). And now I have an absolutely debilitating craving for fics like that -- utterly sane, smirking men with bloody hands and a moral compass that only points due justice, if society won't do it then he/she bloody well will; of a good guy that's trying desperately hard to remain on the right side of the law even as he senses the lure of the other side. Of that good-ish guy meeting that other guy, the connection, the electric, magnetic spark between them (see Luther/Alice for example). Of someone so broken (Star), yet with the potential to be made slightly less so by the judicious application of a good man (Zan). UGH, IDK WHY I WANT IT SO FUCKING BAD, BUT I DO.

Tropes for the win, I guess! :) But I can't, I just can't help but think, Cap and Bucky, where Bucky isn't quite Winter Soldier but is close, the other side of the coin, getting his hands dirty because someone has to and it can't be Steve, Steve who is everything that is good in the world that Bucky sees -- bleak, dark, uncompromising, no rose-tinted spectacles for me, pal; the perpetual push-and-pull of them, jahfdaljkghajkghjhg OH, GOD.

#why, brain, why? If anyone has any story recs for me, in any fandom, pass 'em here, please! <3 Because I really, really fucking want it, bad enough to write an original story if that's what it takes. But come on, in all the world there's got to be someone as wonky as me that's already thought of something way better than anything I could come up with.

Also see: The Administration, which is the perfect example, and I'm going to pimp it out until everyone out there has read it, because Manna, man. Gal's a genius. You know I'm all about the fluff usually, but sometimes I need dark, blood-tinged fluff, I love you as certain dark things are to be loved-fluff (also, that poem, amirite? A perennial favourite, carved somewhere inside me). Because that's beautiful, too.
sirona_fics: (bucky mf barnes)
Friends! Romans! I would like to draw your attention to the following piece of news (WELL. I say news, but it's probably only news to me. STILL. I AM EXCITE AND I WISH TO SHARE SAID EXCITEMENT). So, without further ado (in the second half of the article, in The Story section):

SEBASTIAN STAN HAS BEEN SIGNED UP FOR SIX MARVEL MOVIES, TO REPRISE HIS CHARACTER OF BUCKY BARNES


THIS IS THE MOST EXCELLENT NEWS OF ALL TIME. MY FACE RIGHT NOW:



AND ALSO:



BECAUSE BUCKY. MOTHERFUCKING. BARNES. ♥ More under the cut below. ALSO, HIS FUCKING EVERYTHING.

ETA: LOOK, THIS IS JUST TOO GOOD NOT TO POST IN FULL. (Ganked off [livejournal.com profile] somehowunbroken, because I have basically been STARING AT THAT PIC for an hour now.)




Meanwhile, yesterday I spied [livejournal.com profile] pennyplainknits doing the five word meme, and, well. Y'all know how I feel about memes. >.>;; Everyone's favourite subject, et cetera, et cetera. I feel the need to warn you that from this point on, this post is the longest post I have ever done that doesn't involve some kind of story, so. Enter at your own risk.

England, Bucky, Writing, Cake, Travel )


Also, obligatory Clint/Phil rec (this is getting to be a habit, isn't it. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL HABIT ♥).

Stockholm Syndrom and other drugs by AlchemyAlice

Basically this made me GIGGLE MADLY at all kinds of inopportune moments. Hilarious and insightful and just plain adorable. <3 I have such, SUCH a huge weakness for people taking care of Coulson, BECAUSE HE NEEDS IT EVEN IF HE DOESN'T EXPECT IT (WHICH MAKES HIM ALL THE MORE DESERVING). Also I will never, ever, get tired of Clint calling Coulson 'sir'. BECAUSE, WELL. MY KINKS, LET ME SHOW THEM TO YOU. (H50 crowd: #shockingly unsurprised)


AND NOW:


THE DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GET YOU DOWN PARTY POST



In which I've had ENOUGH and I declare this an 'I AM FUCKING MARVELLOUS' PARTY POST FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU )

LET'S HAVE A FUCKING PARTY. IDGAF, IT'S GOT TO BE AFTER 5PM SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD. HAVE A DRINK ON ME (even if it's a cup of tea/coffee/etc). <3 Don't be shy. Come squee. Spread the word. Get to know your new friends. TALK ABOUT AWESOME THINGS.

HERE, LET ME SET THE MOOD.





Also, I am just tickled pink by ALLLLLL the awesome fic that has been posted/will be posted shortly, because, GUYS, [livejournal.com profile] pocky_slash's Domesticity 'Verse Big Bang and its prequel went up yesterday!!!!! THIS IS HOW EXCITED I AM RIGHT NOW:



And also IMMINENT CLINT/PHIL PUPPY FIC FROM [livejournal.com profile] delicatale. I CANNOT EVEN. *______________* Me right now:



Anyway. Today will be a bits-and-pieces kind of day -- Coffee Shop AU (AT OVER 13K, IT IS PROCEDING AS NORMAL FOR THE TWO OF US), Sherlockmas assignment, a beta job, edits on cop!Erik AU (because I'm feeling as positive as it's possible for me to feel, and if I don't tackle it now I NEVER WILL), and other random plot bunnies. Also I hope to be chatting to ALL OF YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING EVER. \0/ \0/
sirona_fics: (captain fluff)
Still sick, but not as bad as yesterday, thank god. Getting there.

I want to encourage everyone to go read this post by [livejournal.com profile] nikibee, which is full of McFassy and Charles and Erik and Thor and allll the shiny links ever. I literally spent half a day with it opened in a tab, going back and forth for new things to mull and squee over. Full of food for thought.

Also, this here is a meme! Since there are a bunch of different fandoms represented all over my flist, I thought this would be fun! :D Stolen Borrowed off [livejournal.com profile] gottalovev, via a bunch of other people.

1. Think of up to 20 ships you support.
2. List them using descriptions of the characters involved rather than their names.
3. Have your flist guess as many of the ships as they can.


Note: You'll notice that brevity is not one of my many talents. Should make this easier, then. Such a fun meme, this.

boys and girls and people in love this-a-way )
sirona_fics: (steve/danny argument)
So [livejournal.com profile] pocky_slash has just posted this, and since it's the first time I've ever heard of it, naturally I am all *interested face* at it. And I got to thinking. Can you even imagine Steve asking Danny to pick up the broccoli? THE RANT, IT WOULD BE EPIC. They would fail this test so bad. :D :D Probably shouldn't make me so gleeful to think of it.

Anyway, this here is The Broccoli Test.

The Broccoli Test is a shorthand term for some characters' almost psychic understanding of each other. The term came out of a humorous real-life situation. Sandy Herrold and her friend Charlotte were in a grocery store together, at opposite ends of the produce section. Both were heavily into The Professionals at the time. Sandy tried to communicate to that she should pick up some broccoli without shouting across the store at her. No amount of pantomiming and mouthing of the words could get the point across to Charlotte, so Sandy told her later, "Doyle would have known Bodie wanted him to pick up some broccoli with just a raise of his eyebrow!"


Here endeth the lesson. Now let's discuss! :D I would add that Arthur and Eames doing this would include many frowny faces, and Eames being an ass, and when Arthur stomps off to do it himself and comes back, he'll find that Eames has already got the broccoli for him, possibly before Arthur even left in search of it. And there will be more frowning and concilatory kisses and Arthur trying not to smile and Eames grinning at him anyway. *sigh* Boys. ♥
sirona_fics: (so that other things fall together)
  • it’s not your fault
  • you don’t have to apologize
  • it’s okay if you feel bad, because some days are like that
  • it’s okay if you feel good, because some days are like that too
  • you’re not crazy
  • no, really, you’re not crazy
  • even if you feel crazy
  • even if you feel like you’re out of control and you can’t get your footing and you’re never going to
  • you’re still not crazy
  • and it’s still not your fault
  • and you are going to find your footing
  • (but it’s okay if it takes awhile)
  • (you’re not on a schedule)
  • you’re not a burden
  • you don’t have to be ashamed of yourself
  • and even if do feel ashamed of yourself (some days are like that)
  • i’m not ashamed of you
  • because you haven’t done or thought or felt anything to be ashamed of
  • you deserve love and happiness
  • you deserve to feel like you’re on solid ground
  • but it’s still okay if you don’t
  • and it’s still not your fault
  • and you’re still not crazy
  • be kind to you
  • because you deserve kindness, too
  • you deserve it from everyone else
  • and you deserve it from yourself
  • you are not alone
  • everyone has good days
  • and everyone has bad days
  • and lots of us have strung-out gut-rotting awful days where it seems like it’s never going to get better
  • but it is going to get better
  • it’s absolutely going to get better
  • i love you
  • and i promise. <3

from here.

Just so you know -- it did. It really did. I love you, honey. <3

Okay. Deep breaths, Neve. Now off to do all the things.
sirona_fics: (danny wait)
--this is why Jizzy is, in addition to being a wonderful human being, one of the best writers I have ever had the pleasure/privilege to read stories by. I've learned so much, just from listening to/reading her ramblings, than I could have possibly imagined I ever would online. Sometimes, like after I've just read something like this, I feel that in some ways this, the constant trying, evolving, learning, challenging oneself as a writer that we do in fandom, is better than any creative writing class. Or it could well be that those (like her), who have had the chance to garner that experience, are kind and generous enough to share it with the rest of us who haven't. It's eye-opening and mind-blowing in the best possible way, as a person and as a writer, and I just feel so lucky to have stumbled across Jizzy's journal in the first place. ♥

Seriously. Jizzy. *_______* There's a reason I love her so much. All she was doing is putting some thoughts on paper, and already she has a fascinating, multi-dimentional character to explore, that I want to read ALL THE WORDS about. Colour me impressed.
sirona_fics: (pornstar!Steve)
Last night, thanks to Tailoredshirt I had me delicious dreams of Steve and Danny -- that sadly I don't remember in the light of day. BUT I KNOW THEY WERE LOVELY. What I do remember is that Steve had dragged a gorram catapult from somewhere, and set it up on the beach, where it was all the rage with the kids (including Gracie). And Danny was Not Happy about that. IDEK, brain, but you did quite well, I thought, especially with regards to what Steve was wearing (hint: not much).

Right. I designate today a Getting Shit Done day. Parents are going away for the weekend, which means I shall have the flat to myself! \0/ Sadly, instead of throwing a party I intend to work on my Letter of Intent -- I want to have all the documents required ready for submission by Monday, 31st Oct.

Meanwhile, Hush is on telly! \0/ It's one of my most favourite Buffy eps! :D It was immediately preceded by the episode where Buffy and Spike were going to get married (caused by Willow's spell). Season 4 wasn't the best ever, but damn, there were some gems in it! I HAVE MISSED YOU, BUFF. It's making me feel very nostalgic -- this was the first TV series I watched in real time, as it was aired, and it directly coincided with my own experiences. I was in school at the same time, starting uni at the same time as Buff and the Scooby gang, and it had a huge influence on me. I'm pretty sure it was one of the things that kept me sane way back when, 17 and so far away from home for the first time. If it hadn't been for Buffy, I don't know that I would have got through all the shit without it breaking me. ILU, BIT. <3 And thank you, Joss, with all my heart. ♥ You are the best ever.
sirona_fics: (the girl who waited (in the garden))
Sooo. Remember that bit of Tangled where Rapunzel was ecstatic to be free one moment and guilt-ridden the next? A bit like this?



That was me, all day yesterday. I think I am leaning towards this by now:



Mind you, I've still got everyone else to tell, and I'm kind of dreading my friend's response to this, but it's got to be done. I've emailed the Academic Coordinator for the course, and I'm waiting on her reply now so I can start sorting out the documents.

Other than that, spent yesterday working on the cop!Erik AU. I am now tethering between 'holy shit this is such crap' and 'I quite like this, actually', which is about the right stage of my creative process. I AM SO CLOSE TO FINISHING IT. SO CLOSE I CAN SMELL IT. Maybe another 5K, tops, if another scene doesn't shoehorn itself into it (this keeps happening. Probably the reason it's now 35K long). Read a pretty clever essay yesterday on the arist's place within the creative process, by Marcel Duchamp, in which he describes it as follows:

To all appearances, the artist acts like a mediumistic being who, from the labyrinth beyond time and space, seeks his way out to a clearing. If we give the attributes of a medium to the artist, we must then deny him the state of consciousness on the esthetic plane about what he is doing or why he is doing it. All his decisions in the artistic execution of the work rest with pure intuition and cannot be translated into a self-analysis, spoken or written, or even thought out.

In the creative act, the artist goes from intention to realization through a chain of totally subjective reactions. His struggle toward the realization is a series of efforts, pains, satisfaction, refusals, decisions, which also cannot and must not be fully self-conscious, at least on the esthetic plane.


Full article here

Which basically to me translates as 'the story uses you so it can be told. You have no say in it; you can only try and use the right words to do so -- this is about the entire size and shape of your influence in the matter.' That's how writing works for me most of the time -- the story is suddenly there, and all I can do is tell it while it's letting me, and use my intuition to figure out how. Sometimes I've no idea where it all comes from, why it takes the shape it does; sometimes it's all I can do to follow along with what I'm writing (hence the feeling of 'it's shit'). Most of the time, though (and this is what I cling to), when I re-read it I am astounded by how coherent the whole thing is. (This article also makes a very interesting point as applied to fanfiction, for those who follow the fanfic vs. original fic debate.)

Watched Doctor Who finally last night. I... kind of don't want to think about it too much. I'm going to re-watch all the eps since Let's Kill Hitler in the hope that it'll all make sense (which, I realise what I'm talking about, it probably won't).

Right. Today: finish the cop!Erik AU, finish my h50_exchange, get my legs waxed, pack, burn Night Watch onto CDs for listening in the car tomorrow. AND THEN TOMORROW MORNING, H50 WILL BRING ITS MAGIC BACK INTO THE WORLD. \0/ \0/ \0/ I am excite!! :D
sirona_fics: (a good bookshop is just a genteel black)
I want to tell you a story. This may or may not serve as a nice intro post for all the new people around here, who have flattered me by wanting to stick around for some reason that escapes me.

My childhood amidst books: a love story )
sirona_fics: (help! I'm being repressed!)
I read this meta post by Seperis on fanfic as a genre today. It's incredibly poignant and spot-on in terms of social theory, and it should damn well be required reading for anyone involved in any fanfic community out there. I'm only sad and disappointed that circumstances have forced someone to actually write it. It's a fascinating topic, and it's right up my street, since I am endlessly intrigued by subcultures in our modern society. It's something I would love to research in more depth some day when I have the resources.
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