Why brain why, mark 476

[sirona_fics]

I have somehow found myself with 8,400-odd words of a Clint/Phil fic (cleverly titled Phil's shirts are coul, which, I SERIOUSLY CANNOT EVEN /0\). And now I'm freaking the fuck out. Because this is a brand new paring for me, and okay, I've watched and re-watched the source material, but it always takes time to find the character voices that work for us, right? So yes, this is me panicking that it's rubbish/not making any sense/too much of one thing and not enough of another/completely and utterly OOC. And let's be honest, I've read precisely three Clint/Phil fics, all of which have struck a hell of a chord and I fucking love with all my heart, none of which have utilised the characterisation I'm aiming for (to this extent). This means that a) it it going to be a monumental failure, or b) it's going to be all right, exactly because it's different. But since I tend to find my feet with a pairing by reading ALLLL THE FIC EVER, I am understandably, like I said, freaking the fuck out.

Seriously, laria_gwyn is a saint for agreeing to look this over for me, after all the flailing we've been doing about Clint/Phil recently. I am just hoping it isn't entirely unsalvageable -- because in one way or another, this is at least a facet of how I see the characters. The question remains whether anyone else will see them like me (mostly being the BAMFest of BAMFs, and stupidly infatuated with each other, and alllll the pining (this is where I'm really working myself up), and Clint obsessing over Phil's snappy shirts-and-ties -- totally trufax, guys, check this out:



Y'all know my obsession with suit!porn, y/y?)

So yeah. Taking a leap is fucking scary. Here's hoping I fly instead of crashing. >.>;;

Oh god, one a.m. again, why. /0\ I fail at being an adult so much.