sirona_fics | [Fic] Only Human, Steve/Danny, H50

OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THIS EVEN.

Title: Only Human
Word count: ~2,700
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Nothing that the rating doesn't imply.
Disclaimer: Hawaii Five-0 belongs to CBS.
Summary: The one where Steve gets covered in chocolate peanut butter during a bust, and, well -- Danny's only human.
Notes: I never used to write this fast, you guys, but there's something about this fandom that is ridiculously inspiring. This was

dremiel's idea, and

gyzym's a shameless enabler ♥, so -- this happened. Be warned -- this has NO LITERARY MERIT WHATSOEVER. Rather, it is as PWP as I am capable of writing. I blame this, because Peanutella + Alex = me in a puddle of GUH on the floor.

If this went on any longer, he, Danny Williams, would not be responsible for his actions, Danny thought with the part of his brain not currently focused on fastening the zip-tie on the still-struggling suspect, who was blatantly disregarding Danny’s knee digging into the small of his back -- which, let’s face it, was most of it. He towed the guy over to where his three other friends were sitting in sullen silence, before bracing himself and looking back over to where Chin and Kono were trying not to laugh at the look on Steve’s face as he catalogued the damage.

It was pure chance that most of the contents of the jar one of the men had been holding when they busted down the door had ended up splattered all over Steve. The sight of chocolate spread smeared on most of Steve’s exposed skin should be completely ridiculous; in fact, Danny should be bent in two, laughing fit to burst at the scowl on his partner’s face. He wasn’t. He really, really wasn’t.

Because Steve had gotten the bright idea to try and work out what that brown stuff was. He’d blown past sniffing a couple minutes ago, and was currently licking his arm where most of the spread had hit him.

“Huh. It’s chocolate, but not Nutella or anything; this has peanut butter in it. Chocolate peanut butter!” he brightened up, looking like he’d just discovered frozen cookie dough all over again. “Hey, this stuff isn’t half bad,” he told the rest of Five-0, who were hanging about post-bust, watching in horrified fascination as Steve went back for more, pink tongue swiping over all that tanned skin; and yeah, okay, Danny needed to lie down for a moment, preferably in a darkened room with a reliable lock on the door, and a good stash of tissues.

“Wow, hey, you need some pancakes to go with that?” Chin asked, lips twitching.

“I’m not sure I’m old enough to be watching this,” Kono observed mildly. Danny noticed she made no effort whatsoever to look away.

Steve frowned in their direction. “Huh? What? You guys wanna try some?”

And that was when Danny Williams snapped. But with precision.

“All right, okay, we’re done here. Chin, Kono, I can hear HPD coming up the road, so book those four and hand them over, will you? McGarrett, let’s go.”

Steve cast a contemplative glance from his delicious-treat-covered skin to the swearing perps on the ground. “I was just thinking--”

“Oh my god, you are not going to ask them for the goddamned recipe, what is wrong with you? And while we’re on the subject, what the hell were you thinking, huh? Eating that shit? Who knows what they put in it! It could be rat poison for all you know; just because you think you’re Commander Invincible does not mean you have to go out of your way to test it all the time!”

Steve took a quick step back, out of range of a particularly spirited wave of Danny’s arm, looking hurt. “Ah, come on, Danno--”

“Don’t you ‘Danno’ me, what did I tell you about that? Get in the car already. The sooner we get to HQ, the sooner you can wash that stuff off. It could be toxic, not that you care, but I’d feel better if it’s not dripping off your skin any more, god knows why I care, you’ll probably turn into Spiderman or something--”

“That was a spider. Daredevil got splashed with toxic waste,” Steve corrected, that insufferably smug grin that always made Danny’s blood boil back on his freakishly good-looking face.

“What-fucking-ever, Rambo. Get. In. The car. We’ll see you later, guys.”

“Hey, make sure you save me a sample, I wanna take a look at it, too,” Kono called over her shoulder as she made her way to a particularly lively member of the Peanutella quartet.

“Insane, the lot of you,” Danny muttered under his breath, headed for the car. “No--no, don’t even think about it, you ass, I’m driving. Your arms are filthy with the stuff, what if your hands slip off the steering wheel, huh? God, why am I the only person who thinks about these things around here?”

“Am I supposed to answer that one? ‘Cause my insurance doesn’t cover getting mauled by a rabid mother hen,” Steve threw at him as he folded himself into the passenger seat.

“Jesus, you are such a goof.” Danny shook his head and peeled out of the latest warehouse parking lot.

Danny could see Steve shifting out of the corner of his eye, but unlike the Grand-Theft-Auto-inspired driving of his partner, he liked to keep his eyes on the road, at least most of the time. So it wasn’t until he pulled up at a red light that he turned to check what all the fidgeting was about, and the barbed remark he’d been about to bat at Steve died a sudden death in his throat, because Steve was back to licking at his spread-covered arm and making these small sounds in his throat that had Danny’s cock standing to attention in the space of a blink. The shot of arousal was so intense it was actually painful, and Danny couldn’t quite suppress the grunt his sex-deprived body decided to release.

“Will you fucking stop that?” he yelled, only it came out much, much breathier than he intended. Great. All I need is a “Fuck Me Now” sign on my forehead to go with that blatant invitation, he thought as he cringed.

Steve threw him a Look through eyes half-lidded with pleasure. “You want a taste?” he said, voice low and heavy with intent; and Danny, for his sins, was only human.

For possibly the first time in his life, he opened his mouth to reply and came up empty. He blinked a couple of times, unable to breathe, speak, think, plain function. “...,” he said, before the honking from the car behind them clued him in to the fact that the light was green, had been for almost ten seconds now. He wisely shut his mouth and stepped on the gas, plastering Steve to the seat from the acceleration. Only problem was, you can’t get away from someone when they’re sitting in the passenger seat of your can, Danny thought wryly.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have rendered Danny Williams speechless,” Steve announced to the world, grinning smugly. Danny snarled at him in response and glared at the road as if it owed him money. It’s not like he could argue; and besides, his cock was digging into his inseam something awful, and glaring made him feel better.

He parked in their usual spot outside HQ, turned off the ignition and just sat there for a moment. “So, we’re doing this,” he said gravely, looking at Steve sprawling in the seat beside him, all kinds of delicious.

“I’ve had enough of waiting. Haven’t you?” Steve said, sounding so earnest that something in Danny twisted a little with a mixture of hope and joy and, yeah, okay, blatant lust. “Kono and Chin will be at least another hour,” Steve added hopefully, looking at Danny with those huge, appealing blue eyes. There was a smear of chocolate in the corner of his mouth. The sound that tore out of Danny’s throat was something he’d deny on pain of death, but it seemed to be Steve-speak for ‘get out of the car and get your ass up to the office’, because both of them were out of the car like a shot, legging it up the stairs three at a time.

They had barely cleared their floor when Steve latched onto Danny’s mouth with a groan that seemed to start in his toes, pawing at Danny’s shirt, flicking those tiny buttons open with a dexterity that would normally irritate the living shit out of Danny, but right now he could only be grateful for. He tugged his tie off and made to chuck it away when Steve pulled away from his mouth for a moment and stilled him.

“Don’t get rid of that,” he said, voice husky with need. “I have plans for it.”

“Is that right?” Danny managed, eyes locked onto the way Steve’s lips had gone pink and shiny. He curled a hand over the back of Steve’s neck, tugging him back down, but stuffed the tie in the pocket of his trousers instead of tossing it.

Steve pushed him backwards into his office and kicked the door shut behind them, waving a hand haphazardly to locate the string for the blinds. Danny licked at those lips, the corner of Steve’s mouth, catching that speck of chocolate that was responsible for him losing his damned mind, and hell if Steve wasn’t right -- it tasted delicious. Danny hummed in his throat, seeking out more. He pushed Steve down on the sofa, tugging doggedly at his shirt.

“Now you decide to keep your shirt on? Now?” he groaned before Steve got with the program and batted Danny’s hands away to tug it over his head. There was chocolate spread smeared over the tattoo on his right arm; Danny fell on it like a man starved, tracing the ink with his tongue all the way down to the bulging muscle of his bicep, chocolate mixed with sweat and a hint of ocean salt from Steve’s morning swim.

“Fuck,” Danny breathed over the damp skin; Steve’s hips jerked under his and Steve’s strong hands tugged at the belt of his pants, yanking it off and unbuttoning them in record time. Danny toed off his shoes clumsily as Steve’s palms burned a path down his thighs, pushing the fabric down and off. It caught half-way down his legs as Danny knelt astride Steve’s taut frame, lining up their hips and sitting down and in, watching as Steve’s eyes rolled closed and he threw his head back, baring that ridiculous neck of his, all muscle and golden skin; Danny didn’t even try to resist it -- he bent his head and bit down, right there, on the spot he’d fantasised about countless times, right where Steve’s neck joined the sweeping curve of the shoulder. Steve honest-to-god whimpered, eyelashes fluttering and hips twitching; his hands closed on Danny’s ass cheeks and squeezed, pulling him down onto his groin, mashing their cocks together.

“Wait, fuck, I want--off,” Danny muttered into Steve’s neck, fingers busy on the flap of those damned cargo pants -- how cargo pants managed to mold to Steve’s ass and crotch, Danny had no idea; it was unfair, is what it was, Danny hated the fucking things, so he yanked and heard the button snap. Steve chuckled and nudged Danny’s head so he could find his mouth, and -- oh, yeah, kissing Steve, licking into his mouth while he palmed his cock for the first time was sublime, the sound that Steve made at first contact so filthy that Danny spent a good few seconds memorising it, and discovering a wholly unsurprising desire to hear it over and over again, for the rest of his life.

“Danny, Danny,” Steve groaned, pushing his hand inside Danny’s boxer-briefs, smearing the hair and skin of his belly with Peanutella spread -- god, they’d be a wreck by the time they were done, thank fuck for the bathroom down the hall -- and curling long, sturdy fingers around Danny’s cock, biting into Danny’s lower lip as he started stroking, drinking Danny’s moans and string of obscenities, getting chocolate everywhere, it was ridiculous--

“Wait, wait,” Steve said, breathless, pushing Danny to stand and steadying him when he swayed on suddenly unsteady feet. “Here, Danny, sit down.” He directed him with hands on his hips, shifting so that Danny sat on the sofa and Steve sprawled over the lower half of him.

Danny had about a second worth of warning, the flare of heat in Steve’s eyes as Steve swiped his palm over the remaining mess over his arms and rubbed it into Danny’s cock, what the hell--

“Wh--oh my god,” Danny keened as Steve lowered his head and took his entire length in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the shaft, sucking the life out of him through his cock, making those whining little noises in his throat again that vibrated over Danny’s skin until Danny’s entire body was taut as a string, back bowed and hand threaded in Steve’s hair, not tugging but holding on tightly, saying Steve’s name over and over again while Steve proved that he could hold his breath for a commendably long time.

“Gonna--gonna--” Danny tried, tugging a little and tightening his grip on Steve’s shoulder where his other hand had fallen in its flailing. Steve just took him down his throat until his nose was buried in the sweaty hair at the base of Danny’s cock, and -- well, like Danny said, he’s only human.

Steve swallowed all of what Danny had to give him, until Danny was whimpering and pawing at his shoulder to push him off. He let the half-hard cock slip through lips gone puffy and red, and Danny used his whole body to tug Steve up so he could kiss him, lick his way past those impossible lips and find traces of himself, of chocolate peanut butter, and of Steve, right at the back of his tongue. He couldn’t stop the small whines of pleasure that climbed unchecked out of his throat, especially when Steve’s hips jerked helplessly, rubbing his leaking cock on Danny’s hip. He pushed Steve off a little, enough to worm a hand between their bodies, curl his fingers around his length and squeeze, twist a little as he stroked him, and hey, look at that, apparently Steve was only human, too -- here it was, solid proof dripping over Danny’s hand, making his hold all slippery and sloppy.

Steve sighed into his mouth as his body went limp on top of Danny’s, and it was so sweet, so trusting and happy and content, that Danny knew with a sudden but unshakable certainty that he could not, would not want to live without this is his life, not ever.

“Come on, Batman, let’s get cleaned up before the unholy duo arrive, or we’ll never hear the end of it, you know that, right?” he murmured against Steve’s forehead, stroking the damp hair soothingly as Steve caught his breath.

“Don’ wanna,” Steve muffled into Danny’s neck, shifting to sprawl over his sweaty chest more fully. “‘M comforble.”

Danny couldn’t hold his helpless laughter for the world. “Well, look at you, all sleepy and happy! You gonna purr for me, kitten?”

“F’k off,” Steve groaned, poking him in the side with the hand not tucked under his chin and curled around Danny’s. “You’re such a nag.”

“Whine, whine, whine. Come on, the sooner we get cleaned up, the faster we can get all the paperwork filed and the sooner we can blow this joint. I hear you got a double bed in your house,” he mused thoughtfully.

“I’m up, I’m up,” Steve said, perking up and tensing to roll off Danny. At the last moment he stopped and pushed himself up to plant a big, messy kiss on Danny’s mouth, slipping his tongue inside as if it never left.

“Come on, then, you lazy ass,” he said as he bounced to his feet, meeting Danny’s glare with laughing eyes.

“I hate you, so much,” Danny muttered, rolling up and off the sofa.

“Love you, too,” Steve threw over his shoulder as he padded out to the bathroom barefoot, cargo pants hanging low on his hips, exposing the dimples on either side of his spine.

Danny waited until he‘d left before pulling out his phone and doing a quick search online for chocolate peanut butter, bookmarking the results. Steve was right, it really was delicious; besides, he had plans for those dimples.

END

Current Mood: naughty
Current Music: Dr Hook -- Sexy Eyes