Crossing Bridges, SasuNaru
Mar. 22nd, 2010 11:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sirona_ficsAuthor: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sirona_gs
Title: Crossing Bridges
Disclaimer: I don't own them, Kishimoto does. No profit is being made.
Summary: Moving schools is a whole different ball game. So is basketball. Naruto tries to balance one with the other. The hot captain of the basketball team isn't helping matters.
Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto
Length: ~8,600
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: AU, some (resolved) angst, mentions of past abuse, NC-17, basketball, slightly OoC-Sasuke.
Author’s Notes: This is my entry for the winter 2009![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
sn_exchange. It's only slightly edited as the original draft was very rushed and my beta didn't have a lot of time to check through it, so some typos and mistakes snuck in (I'm sure people know why by now, so I shan't be explaining again). I'm sorry for being such a pain, Mira sweetie! My prompts were for angst and a proper yaoi seme/uke SasuNaru relationship, which I don't normally write, so this was quite hard to come up with. The scenario is almost entirely based on personal experience (especially Sasuke's character), though sadly sans the happy ending for me. Onwards with the fic! (x-posted to sasuxnaru)
Crossing Bridges
*** September 1st ***
Fuck. I hate doing this. I wouldn’t admit it under pain of certain death, but I’m shit scared. Starting a new school in your junior year sucks rocks. Sigh. Well, it can’t be worse than my old school, that’s for sure. Sometimes I still wake up in a cold sweat, the memory of bone-white faces staring down at me as I lay bleeding fresh in my mind. That I gave back as good as I got, or better, is beside the point. It’s hard making friends when you’re almost constantly covered in cuts and bruises.
So, really, I should be looking at the move as a blessing in disguise. Though how Jiraiya’s ‘romance’ rubbish could ever be a blessing is arguable. Still, he claims being closer to his publisher works better with deadlines, and the sheer amount of money his books generate is staggering. I asked him once about how stupid women must be to buy his crap over and over, and he launched into a lecture about ‘bodice ripper’ and ‘powerful romantic lead’ and ‘chiseled torsos’ and I sort of tuned him out after about 10 minutes. The point is, it’s unbelievable how much his books sell and it sort of solidified my thoughts on the female gender in general.
I am still standing close to the school gates when a warm nose presses itself to my bare calf. I emphatically do not jump 10 feet in the air, but it’s a close call. I whip around and look down at a sort of fluffy white dog that is grinning at me in a distracting manner. It yips and sticks its tongue out, panting. I like dogs. I crouch down, ruffle the fur on its head and squeeze its ears.
“Akamaru!” A bellow comes from not too far away. I look up to see a guy with spiky black hair bearing down towards me with intent. “Oh good, you found him. Hey you!” He sweeps the dog up and cuddles him to his chest. “He’s not supposed to be here, I can’t take him into school. He has to go home with mom, but he hates to leave me. I’m Kiba, by the way! You new?”
There is a manic but pleasant energy surrounding the boy and I find myself liking him immediately. I nod.
“Yeah, I’m new. Naruto Uzumaki at your service. Nice to meet you and Akamaru!”
Kiba grins at me, which looks just like when his dog does it. “I’ll be right back, don’t disappear!”
He runs off, hands his dog over to a scary looking woman in an SUV by the gate and is back in the space of a few blinks.
“Right! I’ll show you round and introduce you to some people. You junior as well? Excellent! I bet you’re in most of my classes. You stick by me, I’ll take care of you. But not in a gay subtext kind of way, not that there’s anything wrong with pillow-biters, look at Shino, he’s one of my best friends. Oh, there he is now, with Shikamaru, he’s the bored looking one, lazy as ten hells, and Choji, the bigger boy next to him, do not say ‘fat’ if you value your life…”
This is pretty much all said in one breath. I wonder if anyone is able to get a word edgeways with Kiba. I like him. I think I’ll be okay here.
*** September 3rd ***
Kiba is right, I mostly have classes with him and his gang of friends, who to my utter shock have become my friends as well. I can hardly take it in. No insults, no punches, no ridicule… It’s like a whole new world. I keep thinking it’s all a ruse and any minute now Kiba is going to spin around and knock me a good one. So far it hasn’t happened and I have cautiously allowed myself to hope that it won’t happen at all. I seem to have left the ‘social pariah’ image behind in my old school. Here I’ve become… well, not popular as such, but… befriended. I like everyone I’ve met so far. Kiba’s… my friends are an eclectic bunch. So-laid-back-he’s-horizontal Shikamaru is one of the smartest kids in the school, but he acts like that bothers him. Choji can eat his weight in crisps, but can flatten you with a finger if the need arises. Shino is kind of weird, hardly ever speaks but his presence is infinitely calming. He’s obsessed with insects, has several ant farms and is a veritable professor on the subject of entomology.
I’ve met a few of the girls in the class as well. Hinata was the first one I noticed, only because Kiba transforms into a groveling puppy every time she’s with us. It’s kind of cute, and she likes the attention even though she is almost painfully shy. I’ve seen her look at me a few times with a look on her face that makes me break out in hives. I do not want to be the ‘object of affection’ to any girls here. It might break the still fragile ties I’ve made to the guys and I’d rather eat dirt than go back to the way it was before.
Ino is the loudest girl I’ve ever met, kind of like a female me. She is so vain it’s amusing rather than annoying. I’ve a feeling about her and Shikamaru, but I’m going to wait for a few weeks before relaxing completely around the group. It’s too painful, going back to hatred from friendship, so caution first, fun later.
Another girl in the group is Sakura. Her and Ino fight like cats and dogs, but I’ve seen Sakura pass Ino a pencil when hers broke without a second look, so I guess appearances are deceptive there too.
*** September 10th ***
Classes are okay. Now that I don’t have to watch my back every second of every day, I find I actually get much more than I used to. My grades have started steadily climbing, which is quite shocking to me, as I always thought I was far too stupid to learn anything properly. Huh. I guess my therapist was right when he said I needed to relax and just be. I keep thinking this peace can’t last.
*** September 19th ***
I knew it. I knew this was too good to be true. Fuck, fuck, fuck!!
Here it is. The thing that’s going to sour my year right back to normal. I knew I should have kept my head down! What possessed me to think that everything would be okay? I’ve gotten lazy and complacent, that’s what.
Okay. Deep breaths. So the guys thought we should go lark about a bit, play a fun game at the basketball court. What could possibly go wrong, right? So we divided up into teams and started messing around as guys normally do. Now I know I’m good at basketball. It was one of the many things that antagonized people before. Still, it didn’t look like that would be a problem here – the guys were chuffed with how good I was, joked I’d been holding back on them. It was just so nice, letting go for what felt like the first time in forever.
And then he turned up. I noticed Kiba still at first, then elbow Shikamaru in the ribs.
“Look, it’s Sasuke! Do you think he might like to referee, keep up practice?”
Shikamaru shrugged and went to ask him. I took a moment to study this paragon of virtue that had everyone’s jaws hanging and tails wagging. I hated him on sight. His stance was instantly familiar to me; the arrogance, the conceit, the flat look in his eyes as they landed on me. I saw an eyebrow rise as Shikamaru laid out our request, and the indifferent shrug as he accepted.
Hackles rising, I tried to ignore him and resume play. I managed to even forget he was there for a little while, when his whistle sounded just as I was fainting to the side to stop Choji in his tracks.
“Foul!” Sasuke’s bored voice intoned.
“What!! How d’you figure that one?!” I was beside myself.
“Don’t play stupid. You smacked his hand instead of the ball. That is called a foul, but I’m not surprised you don’t know the rules. Have you actually even played before?”
I was shaking. I looked at Kiba for support, but he just shrugged apologetically.
“Never mind, Naruto. Let’s just carry on.”
A few deep breaths and I made myself relax. Not worth it. Not worth it, I kept thinking.
Ten minutes later it all went to hell. The whistle blew and,
“Traveling,” his voice cut through the friendly bickering that was our game. Guess who had the ball at the time? Yeah.
“Okay, this is ridiculous. I was not traveling!” Seething now. I didn’t see how this was not going to end in a punch-up.
“Uh, Sasuke? I don’t think he was traveling…” Kiba’s voice drifted off at the frigid look from Sasuke.
“Did you actually want a referee, or were you just wasting my time? He made another half step after dribbling last. If you don’t want someone to call you up on a mistake, you don’t really want a referee, you want an audience, something you won’t find in me.”
His black eyes were boring into me, peeling away layers of shielding and defense, drilling straight into my insecurities and fears. I couldn’t stand it.
“Well, no one wants a blind referee, so I guess you’re off the hook! Maybe we’ll put some money together, get you some glasses for the next time you want to play at blowing a whistle!”
It was a moment before I realized this had come from my own mouth. I heard Kiba snort next to me and closed my eyes. Crap. I was in for it now.
He stood there looking at me for a few moments. I knew what he saw and I tried not to cringe. Spiky, untamed blond hair, ridiculously blue eyes, a fairly toned body, if a little underfed. It was then that I registered the gasps and broke eye contact with him to look around. Oh holy hell. There was a bunch of girls sitting in the stands, gaping murderously at me and staring adoringly at Sasuke. It wasn’t a stretch to make the connection – his fan club. Of course he’d have one, just look at him – tall, dark and handsome. The words crumbled in my mouth, Jiraiya’s ‘romantic lead prototype’ flashing briefly in my mind. This was it, in the flesh.
His lips curled into a sneer that twisted his face in an interesting way.
“Chain your dog, Inuzuka. It seems he slipped though your mummy’s clutches to follow you to school.”
With that he turned and stalked out of the court, his gaggle of fans on his heels. The guys groaned and looked at me with varying degrees of sympathy. I stood there frozen, stomach twisting and twitching, teeth gritted, staring after him.
And then it got worse. A green whirlwind accosted me out of nowhere, and a painfully cheerful voice practically deafened me.
“That was a most excellent and youthful game, my lovely students! And you, Naruto! Your passes! Your assists!! I want you on my team! Meet me and your new team for practice tomorrow at 5.30 pm right here! Excellent, excellent! Now go spread your youthfulness on this beautiful day!”
And the green-and-black tornado flounced off as fast as it had arrived. Now everyone was looking at me with awe.
“Gai sensei wants you on the team! That’s amazing, Naruto! I knew you were good, but that good?”
I looked numbly at Kiba. “Explain. Please. I’m not sure my brain is still functioning.”
So he did. About Gai sensei the basketball couch. And the team. And how Sasuke was the team captain and VIP every other game. And how he was a senior, and the class president, and had a 178 IQ and was a shoo-in for Dartmouth as soon as he graduated, and his family was rich beyond anything and had a private medical and pharmaceutical research company, and his brother had been the basketball team captain before him and had taken them to Nationals, and the huge chip on Sasuke’s shoulder about that. What he basically explained was that I was fucked. Sideways.
As I sit in my room now I am contemplating throwing in the towel and backing off from everything. It’ll be easy. Just two years. Then I can go off somewhere far away and never think about Naruto Uzumaki, the freak and loser.
But then I see Sasuke’s face twisted in a sneer so familiar it punches me in the gut, his contempt fresh in his eyes. I’m so tired of running away. It kills a little part of me every time I do. I am surprised to acknowledge that I have reached the point where I’ve had enough. Enough of being bullied and despised for something out of my control. If he’s going to hate me, by God it will be earned. I will not allow him to make my life hell without a fight. Sasuke Uchiha, meet the person who will not back away from your money and your influence and your power just because it’s you who’s doing the pushing.
*** October 2nd ***
Practice is hell today. Gai sensei pushes and pushes and then pushes some more. Strangely, I’m getting used to the rhythm of physical and emotional exhaustion that has become my life of late.
Today’s practice is nothing on the first one I attended. As I walked in and was greeted and introduced around by Gai sensei I could feel his eyes drilling a hole in the back of my head. As Gai sensei got around to Sasuke’s turn, I could almost feel my resolve withering and dying a swift death. And then there was Lee. God bless Lee, the strange, strange man that he is. I’m sure I’m not the first one to make the mini-Gai connection. His enthusiasm is a veritable force of nature. As the other seniors took me in, rather skeptically I might add, Lee just went off on one about the beauty of new friendships and some such, and before I knew it I was part of the team.
The other players are a strange mix. There is Neji, Hinata’s cousin as it turns out, who is far too controlled for his own good. Then there is Kankuro, another transfer who came to the school last year. He’s okay, a little reserved, but we seem to have struck a rapport. Kiba, Shino and Shikamaru are reserves, as it turns out. Then there is the last member of the team – Gaara. He is Kankuro’s brother and a problem.
A problem, because the second I lay eyes on him, I know him. Not in a ‘hey, you were in my class last week’ way, but rather like ‘if circumstances were different, I might have been in the bed next to you during one of my hospital stays in another life’. He has the same haunted look in his eyes I recognize from seeing it in the mirror on a daily basis for a long time. I know he recognizes the connection as well. I’ve yet to figure out what to do about Gaara. He is strong, no doubt, to have got through that hell and survived, but it has left him empty. He looks underfed, just like me, and like he has permanent insomnia. I feel his eyes on me, trying to figure me out. They are not like Sasuke’s. There is nothing threatening or sinister in them. There is nothing at all, like I’m an insect he’d like to understand before putting aside. I surprise myself with wanting to help him. I know what it’s like to be this empty. If it weren’t for Jiraiya, I’d be the same now. But there is life after that. I think I’d like to help Gaara see that, find that.
Back to today’s practice, and I make an assist to Sasuke, because he is in the perfect position. Naturally, he makes the shot and scores, but there is no celebratory hi-five for Sasuke and me. I’m getting tired of the hostility. He looks at me sometimes in such a strange way, like he’s trying to strip my skin away, bore into my soft underbelly. It makes me shiver, and I don’t know why. He’s still an arsehole.
*** October 25th ***
Iruka sensei asks me to stay after class today, to help him with a project. Iruka sensei is totally awesome. He’s my favourite teacher ever. He teaches Geography and Biology, I’m in his Biology class. He has asked Gaara to help him as well. We’re setting up a mayfly experiment, DNA crossing and such. It is for the senior class, but it turns out I am very good at Biology, and Iruka sensei is giving me some extra lessons to keep me interested after I devoured the junior class textbooks. Me and Gaara have been getting on well. Once I decided Sasuke wasn’t going to chase me away, I ditched my shell altogether – in for a penny, in for a pound, I figured. So I’ve been my usual loud, obnoxious, charming self for over a month now. Astonishingly, it’s made me more, not less, popular around the school. I’m friends with quite a lot of people now, girls too. Ino and I have been getting on like a house on fire. She nags and fidgets and yells and cajoles, and I give back about the same. If I weren’t otherwise inclined, and she wasn’t in Sasuke’s fan club (one of our loudest arguments is on that subject), while secretly fancying Shikamaru, I’d totally go out with her. She’s like the sister I never had. I can’t say the same about Sakura, she seems to have disliked me on sight.
So, about a week or so back I asked Gaara and Kankuro to come hang out with the rest of the gang, which by this time included Lee as well. We had a smash, went to my house as Jiraiya was away for a few days handing over the final draft of his latest novel. We got pizzas and beer and watched every game they showed on TV and bickered and fought and generally had a blast. Much later that night, as almost everyone had either passed out or was about to in the living room, Gaara came to find me in the kitchen where I was attempting to install some sort of order. I don’t like drinking all that much, it makes me feel helpless, out of control, and that is something I never ever want to feel again. Gaara didn’t seem to be much of a drinker himself. I smiled at him and invited him to sit at the kitchen table with me and some tea. We tentatively spoke about ‘before’ and foster homes, and the system, and Kankuro and Temari, his sister, and Jiraiya. Temari had chosen to go to a different school from her brothers, a bid for independence and standing on her own two feet. Gaara promised to ask her to come round next time when I said I would like to meet her. We parted with an understanding. I hope he knows he’s made a friend for life in me.
But before we parted, the conversation took an interesting turn. I blamed the beer.
“So, you and Sasuke, huh?”
I almost spat out my tea. “What the hell do you mean by that?”
“He’s mightily obsessed with you, you know. He talks about you all the time. Like what pass you made today or how that shot was amazing, and how your body was practically made to play basketball.”
At my utterly gobsmacked look, he went on. “Oh, don’t worry; he only speaks to Neji, Kankuro, me and Lee about you. He tries to insult you but every time the insult turns into some backhanded compliment. I think he likes you and hates that he does.”
“Gaara, mate, you must have lost your mind. There is no way in hell he likes me. He hates my guts! He scowls at me every time he sees me, and tries to trip me as I pass him on the court, and insults me every chance he gets. I don’t think he’s capable of liking anyone, he’s so cold he’s frigid.”
Gaara looked at me for a minute or two. “You really don’t get him, do you? He’s not like that at all. It’s all just a front. I suppose you’ve only really known him for a month or so. He’s okay, Sasuke is. You can’t imagine how loyal he is to his friends. I know he seems like an arsehole, but… remember last week, when his cheekbone was all bruised up and he had cuts everywhere?”
I wanted to deny it, say I didn’t really notice, but I had. I’d been horrified by the fact that as soon as I saw his shiner, I was instantly concerned for him. I nodded vaguely.
“That was when a gang of thugs attacked Neji on his way back from his part-time job. He’d been on his way to meet Sasuke. You wouldn’t know that Sasuke has a black belt in ju-jitsu. He beat the crap out of them as soon as he heard the commotion and legged it over there. Neji can take care of himself, but not against so many. One of the thugs had to be hospitalized, Sasuke went that mad. He’d do anything for his really close friends. He doesn’t have many, you see.”
I was unwillingly impressed. It was annoying. I didn’t want to feel anything but irritation towards Sasuke. Why was everyone telling me how awesome he is? So I grumbled and sneered and made a vague allusion to Sasuke’s fan club and Gaara being part of it. His hand twitched on the table, but he smiled instead of punching me, which was nice of him.
“You are too prejudiced. I know how he looks. He looked the same way to me when I saw him last year. But he would never, ever, even if his life depended on it, fuck you over like those others would at the drop of a hat. He’d be the one to stand between you and them, even if he didn’t like you. Just… try to see that, Naruto. You lash out at him as much as he does at you. What is he supposed to think, when every time your mouth opens you go on about how you’re better than him, and he’s a bastard, and you gleefully point out every tiny mistake he makes. He’s not perfect. He’s only human, and he thinks you hate him.”
My stomach clenched at the quite accurate appraisal Gaara had just dished out. Oh God. Gaara’s right, he thinks I hate him. And all because he’s too deeply connected in my mind with the people that used to make my life not worth living. But he’s not them. And it’s me that’s been the arsehole here. I rubbed my face harshly.
“Okay, Gaara. You’ve made your point. I’ll try to do better from now on.”
***
Now, when I see Gaara, I smile at him and get a small smile back. Iruka sensei puts us to work quickly – there’s not much time before our next practice and my stomach is trying to tie itself up in knots at the thought of interacting with Sasuke with all my newfound knowledge fresh in my mind. To distract myself I propose we all go out for a burger or two after practice, to which Gaara agrees as happily as he is able to show.
We walk slowly down to the courts in comfortable silence. We go into the changing rooms and the level of noise climbs up dramatically. I mention my proposal and it is received with universal aplomb. I make an effort to look at Sasuke, purposefully trying to include him in the ‘everybody’. He looks surprised, but there is a tiny lift in the corner of his mouth. He is pleased, I realize, and the resulting explosion of warmth in the pit of my stomach takes me completely by surprise. I feel cold all over. Oh God. This can’t be happening. I can’t be falling for Sasuke Uchiha, him with the all-girl fan club and rumours of different dates every weekend.
I look at him, and it’s like it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him. I see he’s taller than me by about 2 inches. I see that his shoulders are muscular, well-defined and broader than mine. I see that he is lean and toned, and that his waist is narrow, and that as he turns around to pull on his shirt his back is mouthwateringly delicious, all lean muscles and tapered spine, and his arse… holy hell, his arse is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I can feel a reaction starting low in my stomach and I turn around hurriedly to face my locker. This is beyond bad. This is so, so bad that I don’t know if I’ll be able to live through it.
***
Well. This practice is a revelation. For the first time since I laid eyes on Sasuke I’m able to relax around him. The result is an incredible, almost instant rapport. It’s like I know exactly where he is at any time, my passes fly straight to his hands and my assists cross his path unerringly at precisely the right angle. We score more points each than all the rest of the players together. We still bicker and try to outdo one another, but the feeling behind the action has changed. It is no longer changed with hostility and defensiveness. It’s much closer to a friendly competition now. I still want to beat him, but my focus has shifted along with the mood. I want to win, because I want him to see me win, to acknowledge that, in that instant, I am better than him. God help me, I want him to really see me.
Gai sensei is delighted with our progress and has been prancing about (there is no other word to describe his half-dancing, half-skipping stride) for the past half-hour, gloating about how we’re definitely going to the Nationals again this year. We pile into the changing rooms, sweaty, tired but totally geared up. As we head for the showers I experience the first of several ‘oh, shit’ moments of the afternoon. Showers. Naked. Sasuke. Just the thought makes my cock twitch with anticipation. Horrified, I rush ahead to the end shower stall and turn the water to freezing; that seems to take care of the burgeoning problem. Unfortunately, I pass Sasuke on my way out, all sleek with suds, water sluicing down his delectable back, and my ‘problem’ is back in full force. Thankfully, though, I’m the first one back in the changing rooms and, with some effort, I manage to talk it down. I get dressed hurriedly and, as everyone else starts filing in from the showers, I tell them I’ll wait for them at the school gates. I definitely need some air after that particular revelation.
Sasuke. The school hero. The school playboy too, for that matter. Most certainly straight as a rail. Zero shirt-lifter tendencies. I am falling for Sasuke Uchiha. Worse, it’s more than a physical attraction. I like that he is so loyal to his friends. I like to see him smile with Neji and Lee. I like it when he passes the ball to Kankuro even if he has a good position lined up, rather than taking all the credit himself, as he certainly could do. I like how he ignores his fan club, but is never nasty or superior about it. Most of all, I like the way he smiles at me after a particularly spectacular pass or shot. Therein lies the danger. I know I like guys better than girls, even went all the way with a guy once or twice, but I never felt like that for any of the others. Like I would enjoy spending the evening lying with my head in his lap, watching a game, eating crisps and popcorn and squabbling over who goes to get another beer. Just imagining his hand in my hair, his face leaning closer for a kiss, his lips closing over mine… It’s enough to make my skin feel like it’s on fire with the need to be touched.
Of course, all this is purely hypothetical, since there’s no way in hell it could ever happen with him. First, he’s far too reserved to show his feelings openly, and second, even if he wasn’t, I don’t have the right equipment for lounging in his lap; I’m too hard in places that should be soft. I push a hand through my hair, too distracted by my thoughts to notice I’m no longer alone. There’s a tentative hand on my shoulder, and I almost jump as I twist round. Oh God. It’s him.
“Everyone’s on their way,” he states, almost nervously. I give him a small smile and a nod, and he relaxes. I hadn’t registered before how deep his voice is, almost purring, caressing my ears. I blush and step back, his hand falling from my shoulder; I miss the heat immediately. He looks distracted and I can only imagine what he’s thinking.
The sound of several buoyed voices reaches us and we seem to snap out of it, turning towards them. My face is still warm, but I don’t think it’s that obvious any more. Sasuke stands next to me, trying not to fidget.
We walk over to the little burger joint that is three blocks from the school and seems to be a meeting place of sorts for students. The mood is easy and relaxed, which makes my pulse slow eventually. As we sit we are jostled by a party leaving from the next table over, and in the commotion I am pushed down next to Sasuke on the long bench. There are eight of us trying to fit on a table for six, so we are crushed quite close to each other, my thigh sliding against Sasuke’s, elbows touching. My skin erupts in goosebumps and I shuffle nervously, but that only serves to press me closer to the furnace that is Sasuke’s body. I can’t even look at him, I’m so embarrassed, but something catches my eye and when I turn my head, even thought he’s looking straight ahead there is the faintest tinge of pink on his high cheekbones and on the tips of his ears. Something painful sparks in my belly and I want to reach over and put my hand on his thigh, let him know I’m with him. I resist with a monumental effort; this situation is messing with my brain something fierce.
I make myself get distracted with menus and ordering and jibes and jokes, until the knowledge that it is Sasuke pressing to my side is not right at the front of my mind. I can’t help enjoying myself, though.
The waitress comes over and it’s immediately clear that everyone knows her apart from me. She’s a pretty brunette with gorgeous hazel eyes and a lovely soft face, slender neck, body willowy but not skinny, long legs standing out in the white shorts that go with the uniform.
“Hey there Reina! Long time no see! How’ve you been?” Neji is smiling affably at her and she smiles back and waves. She has straight teeth white as pearls.
“Hi boys! I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve seen you all!” She looks at everyone around the table, and I notice her smile brighten at the sight of Sasuke. I look to check, and see that he’s smiling back at her, the gentlest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. It punches me in the gut.
“And who is this handsome gentleman?” She teases, looking at me, and it’s impossible not to respond to the completely open grin she shoots me. So I smile back and don’t fight it.
“Naruto Uzumaki; pleased to meet you, miss. I’ve only just started here this September.”
“And already you are on the basketball team! I am so impressed, you must be good. I’ll come watch one of your practices soon, I miss hanging out with you guys!”
She takes our order and things seem to get back to the teasing insults and banter that is the normal method of communication in our group. Our food arrives and we devour it with intent. We spend at least an hour there, just joking round, and it’s glorious, being able to spend time like that with these people who have become even more than friends to me in the past couple of months. I am still hyperaware of Sasuke next to me, his every move caressing parts of me. I am so hard I’m aching, and I have no idea how I’m going to get up from the table when we stand to leave without thoroughly embarrassing myself and having to answer uncomfortable questions.
Just then Sasuke excuses himself and gets up to go to the bathroom. I breathe a sigh of mixed relief and craving. My every muscle is straining to stop me from following him to the bathroom and… oh. He’s stopped to talk with Reina by the kitchen doors. He is smiling and leaning towards her, and she is doing the same, standing closer to him than is necessary. She laughs at something he says and I can hear the tinkling sound from here. She is such a lovely girl, why couldn’t I fancy her? Sasuke leans closer still to her, almost speaking in her ear. She leans back to look at him, smile turning sly. Then she turns around and looks straight at me, same saucy smirk on her lips, and I have to blink a couple of times, confused. My eyes move to Sasuke, who is looking back at me with an unreadable expression. I can’t stand the pressure of his eyes, so I look away. When I look back a minute later, I see them still standing there, heads close, her hand on his arm, fingers stroking his sleeve.
Well, that takes care of my erection. I can see there’s something between them, something real. It’s more than clear that this is something important to him, more important than anything I would ever do. My heart seems to shrink and I lose my good mood. I make an effort for the guys, but it’s clear I’m no longer enjoying myself quite as much. I meet Gaara’s gaze; the concern in his eyes is plain for me to see, even though no one else would notice. I shake my head in a tiny move that tells him I’ll talk to him later.
Soon after that the party breaks up and we head home. Jiraiya is away again this week and I know that the house will be silent and empty, which doesn’t help my mood any. Gaara offers to drive me home, and I gratefully agree. I want to get away from Sasuke, try to sort my head out. It’s quiet in the car; Kankuro’s opted to go play some games at Lee’s house before heading home. I look out of the window, the quiet sounds from the tires hitting the road soothing me from my sulk.
“They used to go out, last year. Spent almost all their time together, planning their senior year and college applications. Her family is fairly well off, she only works at the diner because she wants to earn some money for herself for college, have a bit more freedom.”
I try to pretend I’m not at all interested in this, but I think Gaara knows it’s all a ruse.
“She broke up with him. That’s never happened before, usually girls cling to him like flies to honey. You’ve seen them. But she broke things off towards the beginning of summer. We never found out why, he won’t talk about it. He’s still really close to her though, you saw them today. I don’t think they’ll be getting back together though.”
“Why are you telling me all this?” I ask him numbly. It’s not like I can lie to him, there’s too much between us for it to hold sway. But I’m not ready to give up the pretence either.
“Please. You’ve looked like a kicked puppy ever since you saw them together. Naruto, it’s okay. I’m not going to freak out because you like guys. I think… I think I might like guys myself, but I’m not ready to test it yet. So chill.”
I groan and bury my face in my hands. We’re sitting outside the house by now with the engine turned off, but I can’t make myself move.
“I’m so pathetic,” I whisper. “I can’t believe I fell for him. Someone I haven’t the slightest chance with. It’s all your fault, you know,” I grouch at him. “You made me see him as a real person and it all went downhill from there.”
“Naruto. You are not pathetic. As for chances… well, I wouldn’t give up just yet if I were you.”
I glance up at Gaara, startled from my pity party. He’s gazing at my house, and when I move my eyes to follow I see Sasuke leaning on the hood of his car, eyes locked on me. I look back at Gaara, who’s smiling faintly. In the next moment he’s pushing me out of the car and I’m tumbling to a stop next to Sasuke. Gaara gives me a wave and drives off. I gape at his taillights for a moment before getting a grip and turning to Sasuke.
“Um, hi?”
“Hi. I hope it’s okay that I dropped by. Can I talk to you? Inside, I mean?”
I shake myself. “Sure.” I unlock the door and let us both in. I drop my bag by the door and watch him do the same. We walk into the kitchen while I’m still pinching myself.
“Coffee?” I offer, for something to do.
“Yes, please.”
I busy myself with the familiar ritual – boil the kettle, take out and fill the French press, take out two mugs, mine with the tiny orange fox and my second favourite, a pretty duck-egg blue mug with a little penguin on the side. I pour the coffee when it’s done and hand him the mug. We’ve been standing in silence until now, and my curiosity is piqued. I watch him take a drink and curve his lips at the taste, before gathering myself to ask,
“So, wh-“
He goes from staring at me to taking both our cups and putting them down on the counter. Then he crowds me back into the corner and presses his thigh between my legs, his chest against mine, holds my wrists down on the counter top. Slowly, giving me time to react, he leans down, his lips touching mine ever so softly. His breath is coffee-scented, so sweet as it touches my face. My eyes flutter close and I’m drowning in sensation as I lean closer to him and deepen the kiss. There are no thoughts in my head, nothing but ‘yes’ and ‘more’ and ‘please’. He kisses me thoroughly, tongue caressing mine slowly, sliding against it and making my knees turn to mush. I press closer to him, my legs falling open so that he can feel what his kiss is doing to me. He shifts nearer, thigh sliding against the bulge now evident in my jeans. Thrillingly, I feel an answering bulge against my hip where he’s rubbing against me. My cock twitches with the need to be closer to him, to feel bare skin against mine. I free my hands and twist them into his shirt, tugging him closer still, rubbing harder against him, drawing a moan from those delectable soft lips.
I have to break for air, which I take in deep gulps. It clears my head a little, which he is not helping as he trails his lips down my jaw and kisses the soft skin beneath my ear. My eyes roll in my head as a wave of heat crashes over me and threatens to engulf me.
“Wait, wait!” I gasp out even as I’m drawing him closer. He stops and looks up so that I can see his eyes. “Sasuke,” I whisper. I’m a fool for stopping him, but I need to know what this is here, how much of myself I can give away. “What are we doing?” I plead with him to tell me. My hands can’t seem to uncurl from the hold I have on his shirt.
He sighs and pulls away slightly. I can’t hold back the whimper of protest. He smiles at me, and it’s every bit as genuine as when he smiled at Reina this afternoon. This gives me the strength to let him go.
“Here, sit down.” He pushes me into a chair at the table and drags the other one over so he can sit in front of me. He takes my hand and plays with my fingers as he speaks. “I hope I haven’t come on too strong for you. I like you. I’ve liked you ever since you leveled those angry eyes on me that afternoon. There were sparks flying from you, and I couldn’t help but annoy you more, so that I could see more of your wild energy. You dazzled me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. But you were so distant, and you looked at me like I was a bug on the ground that you had to squash to get past. I don’t know what changed to make you really see me, but I am so happy that it did.”
My mouth snaps shut. I can’t quite take that in. “But… the girls-“
He stops me before I can go on. “You must know that’s all for show. The star of the basketball team being bent is not something I have been eager to advertise up until now.”
“So you’re saying that… what? What do you want from me?” I am desperate to know.
“Everything. That rule no longer applies. I have something to hang on to now. I don’t care anymore what anyone has to say. I have you. I hope,” he looks down almost shyly.
“Sasuke,” I can only whisper again as I twist my hand to intertwine our fingers.
“It was Reina who really hit the nail on its head. She broke up with me when she realized I was more into guys than girls. It was really hard, we were very close. She is the only person outside my family who knows, she’s been really supportive.” He smiles a crooked grin. “When she saw me sitting next to you, she just knew. She said to me, ‘Sasuke, you can’t let that one walk away’, and I agreed with her. She likes you, she wants to get to know you better. Maybe we could go out to dinner soon, together?”
Together. The beast in my belly is back, but this time it’s roaring with approval. “So, we’re together? You are going to be my boyfriend?”
His smile is blinding. “I like the sound of that. My Naruto,” he purrs over my lips as he leans close again, and this time I have no intention of stopping him. It’s everything I’ve been dreaming about and more. Holding him close is better than anything I can imagine. His hard body presses against mine and my skin goes up in flames. I take a good hold of his shirt and drag him into the living room, pressing him onto the coach as I throw myself on top of him, all restrain forgotten. He’s not pushing me away; is in fact dragging me even closer on top of him. My thighs fall open again as I straddle his straining cock, still trapped in his pants. He moans and presses up and into me, rubbing against my own erection. The feel of it is so good it snaps my head back in pleasure. I frantically tug his shirt over his head, desperate to feel his skin. He tugs the halves of my button-down apart savagely, buttons flying everywhere. I smile into his mouth.
His skin is a revelation. It is so soft, so perfectly pale, the barest of freckles circling his shoulders. It makes me want to bite him, mark him, insist, ‘mine’. His hands are sliding over my chest, tugging at my nipples. My groan is so loud it shatters the silence and with it the slow pace we’ve been trying to stick to. I tear at his pants, tugging them and his boxers down to uncover the perfect arch of his pale, dripping cock. My mouth waters and I immediately want to suck him down to the root. I can’t tear my eyes away from him so I don’t see him sitting up and pushing me away so that he can take off my jeans as well. My cock springs out, free at last from its vicious confinement. It’s his turn to stare, and I can feel the heat of his gaze. It makes me dribble pre-come in several small drops. He reaches for it, swipes it with his thumb and pushes it past his succulent lips and into his mouth, sucking it clean. I think I black out for a second from sheer lust. I push him back on the couch and do what I’ve been dreaming of since I saw him naked – I take him into my mouth, slide the fat head over my lips at first, then stroke the underside with my tongue, sliding down until the head hits the back of my throat.
He moans sharply, twitching up, trying to make me take more of him in. I oblige him and as I swallow around his head he cries out incoherently and pushes me away.
“Not yet,” he chokes out. “I don’t want to come yet. I want to taste you properly first. Your pre-come just whetted my appetite for you.”
He pushes my utterly compliant body underneath him on the sofa and slides down until my cock is level with his face. Slowly, ever so slowly, he licks the head and twists his tongue under the foreskin, lapping at the sensitive spot just under the head. My hands, searching for support, twist in his hair, which is much softer than I ever imagined, I don’t know how it stays up like that. His lips join his tongue, rubbing along the head. He has me moaning and panting under him so easily I would be offended if I could be bothered to do anything about it. I feel something slip in his mouth alongside my cock and look down to see he’s sucking on a finger. Just the thought of what he’s about to do with that finger almost makes me come, and I clutch him closer and bite my lip hard to stop my speedily approaching orgasm. He trails the wet finger past my balls, presses on my perineum for a moment, making me reflexively try to force my hips upward, and finally, finally reaches my entrance. He presses on the outside first gently, then more firmly. I lift my hips to try to force him inside me, but he chuckles around my cock, his other hand pushing me back down onto the sofa as I shudder with reaction to the vibration. At last I feel his finger slide inside me, and I immediately clench around it to stop it from leaving. Sasuke circles me from the inside, going further and further in with every rotation, until he hits that spot and I fairly shriek. There’s not stopping it this time; at a hard suck from Sasuke I explode in his mouth and down his throat, almost convulsing with the strength of my release. I flop back on the sofa, boneless and utterly sated.
Sasuke slithers up until he can kiss me, and I try to climb into his mouth. My hand acts without thought and I’m holding him in my palm, shaft slick from pre-come and deliciously hot. I can still taste him in my mouth as I start sliding my hand along him faster and tighter. His hips jerk and he buries his mouth in my neck and pants against my skin. My spent cock tries to twitch, but it’s too soon. A few fast jerks later he tenses and liquid spills all over my stomach and chest. He collapses on top of me, arms around me, face still in my neck. His breath is blissful against my heated skin. I lift my palm weakly and lick it clean. He eyes me, pupils completely dilated in lust.
“Oh, you tease,” he manages to growl. “Just give me fifteen minutes to regroup,” he threatens, and I give him my best cheeky grin. He kisses me in answer, shifting his legs to hold me still, like I would be going anywhere. It feels good, being possessed almost.
He really wants me, I tell myself over and over. We break our kiss and lay there, happy just being with each other.
“So, you’ll be my boyfriend, right? Please?” I hear in my ear. I sigh happily.
“Yes.”
***
I don’t know how things will go. We are both stubborn and competitive, and like to get our way. We’ll likely argue and fight and scheme and hate each other and love each other in equal measures. I hope I can keep him. I hope I can let him keep me.
As, some time later, I finally feel his fingers inside me, stretching me wide for his lovely thick cock, I swear to myself to make a real effort to get over my hang-ups properly, to avoid pushing him away as I do with so many people.
I am thoroughly slick and open as he at last presses his gorgeous cock inside me, stretching me, impaling me on him. The feeling is addictive; I don’t think I can live without it ever again. A good final push and he’s all the way in, his balls slapping my arse; I am so relieved I could cry. I lift up and into him, taking him even deeper and am rewarded with a groan and a hard slide right inside me. Sasuke finds my spot quickly, easily, like he’s done it a thousand times already. I yell and clench hard around him. I can hear him panting in my ear, whispering my name, and alternating endearments and ‘fuck, yes’. His hand slips between our bodies and takes my cock firmly in his palm. I buck up with pleasure at the steady stroke up and down my length. I get closer and closer with every stroke, every whisper. His other hand pinches my nipple and it’s enough to carry me over the edge, still crying out his name. He bites my shoulder, hard, as he follows me over, triggering another wave of bliss from my exhausted body as I feel his release coating my insides. We shuffle until his head is on my shoulder, an arm and a leg thrown over me, holding me close. I fold my arms around him and just bask in contentment.
We’ll cross the other bridges when we come to them. Together.
sirona_gsTitle: Crossing Bridges
Disclaimer: I don't own them, Kishimoto does. No profit is being made.
Summary: Moving schools is a whole different ball game. So is basketball. Naruto tries to balance one with the other. The hot captain of the basketball team isn't helping matters.
Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto
Length: ~8,600
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: AU, some (resolved) angst, mentions of past abuse, NC-17, basketball, slightly OoC-Sasuke.
Author’s Notes: This is my entry for the winter 2009
sn_exchange. It's only slightly edited as the original draft was very rushed and my beta didn't have a lot of time to check through it, so some typos and mistakes snuck in (I'm sure people know why by now, so I shan't be explaining again). I'm sorry for being such a pain, Mira sweetie! My prompts were for angst and a proper yaoi seme/uke SasuNaru relationship, which I don't normally write, so this was quite hard to come up with. The scenario is almost entirely based on personal experience (especially Sasuke's character), though sadly sans the happy ending for me. Onwards with the fic! (x-posted to sasuxnaru)Crossing Bridges
*** September 1st ***
Fuck. I hate doing this. I wouldn’t admit it under pain of certain death, but I’m shit scared. Starting a new school in your junior year sucks rocks. Sigh. Well, it can’t be worse than my old school, that’s for sure. Sometimes I still wake up in a cold sweat, the memory of bone-white faces staring down at me as I lay bleeding fresh in my mind. That I gave back as good as I got, or better, is beside the point. It’s hard making friends when you’re almost constantly covered in cuts and bruises.
So, really, I should be looking at the move as a blessing in disguise. Though how Jiraiya’s ‘romance’ rubbish could ever be a blessing is arguable. Still, he claims being closer to his publisher works better with deadlines, and the sheer amount of money his books generate is staggering. I asked him once about how stupid women must be to buy his crap over and over, and he launched into a lecture about ‘bodice ripper’ and ‘powerful romantic lead’ and ‘chiseled torsos’ and I sort of tuned him out after about 10 minutes. The point is, it’s unbelievable how much his books sell and it sort of solidified my thoughts on the female gender in general.
I am still standing close to the school gates when a warm nose presses itself to my bare calf. I emphatically do not jump 10 feet in the air, but it’s a close call. I whip around and look down at a sort of fluffy white dog that is grinning at me in a distracting manner. It yips and sticks its tongue out, panting. I like dogs. I crouch down, ruffle the fur on its head and squeeze its ears.
“Akamaru!” A bellow comes from not too far away. I look up to see a guy with spiky black hair bearing down towards me with intent. “Oh good, you found him. Hey you!” He sweeps the dog up and cuddles him to his chest. “He’s not supposed to be here, I can’t take him into school. He has to go home with mom, but he hates to leave me. I’m Kiba, by the way! You new?”
There is a manic but pleasant energy surrounding the boy and I find myself liking him immediately. I nod.
“Yeah, I’m new. Naruto Uzumaki at your service. Nice to meet you and Akamaru!”
Kiba grins at me, which looks just like when his dog does it. “I’ll be right back, don’t disappear!”
He runs off, hands his dog over to a scary looking woman in an SUV by the gate and is back in the space of a few blinks.
“Right! I’ll show you round and introduce you to some people. You junior as well? Excellent! I bet you’re in most of my classes. You stick by me, I’ll take care of you. But not in a gay subtext kind of way, not that there’s anything wrong with pillow-biters, look at Shino, he’s one of my best friends. Oh, there he is now, with Shikamaru, he’s the bored looking one, lazy as ten hells, and Choji, the bigger boy next to him, do not say ‘fat’ if you value your life…”
This is pretty much all said in one breath. I wonder if anyone is able to get a word edgeways with Kiba. I like him. I think I’ll be okay here.
*** September 3rd ***
Kiba is right, I mostly have classes with him and his gang of friends, who to my utter shock have become my friends as well. I can hardly take it in. No insults, no punches, no ridicule… It’s like a whole new world. I keep thinking it’s all a ruse and any minute now Kiba is going to spin around and knock me a good one. So far it hasn’t happened and I have cautiously allowed myself to hope that it won’t happen at all. I seem to have left the ‘social pariah’ image behind in my old school. Here I’ve become… well, not popular as such, but… befriended. I like everyone I’ve met so far. Kiba’s… my friends are an eclectic bunch. So-laid-back-he’s-horizontal Shikamaru is one of the smartest kids in the school, but he acts like that bothers him. Choji can eat his weight in crisps, but can flatten you with a finger if the need arises. Shino is kind of weird, hardly ever speaks but his presence is infinitely calming. He’s obsessed with insects, has several ant farms and is a veritable professor on the subject of entomology.
I’ve met a few of the girls in the class as well. Hinata was the first one I noticed, only because Kiba transforms into a groveling puppy every time she’s with us. It’s kind of cute, and she likes the attention even though she is almost painfully shy. I’ve seen her look at me a few times with a look on her face that makes me break out in hives. I do not want to be the ‘object of affection’ to any girls here. It might break the still fragile ties I’ve made to the guys and I’d rather eat dirt than go back to the way it was before.
Ino is the loudest girl I’ve ever met, kind of like a female me. She is so vain it’s amusing rather than annoying. I’ve a feeling about her and Shikamaru, but I’m going to wait for a few weeks before relaxing completely around the group. It’s too painful, going back to hatred from friendship, so caution first, fun later.
Another girl in the group is Sakura. Her and Ino fight like cats and dogs, but I’ve seen Sakura pass Ino a pencil when hers broke without a second look, so I guess appearances are deceptive there too.
*** September 10th ***
Classes are okay. Now that I don’t have to watch my back every second of every day, I find I actually get much more than I used to. My grades have started steadily climbing, which is quite shocking to me, as I always thought I was far too stupid to learn anything properly. Huh. I guess my therapist was right when he said I needed to relax and just be. I keep thinking this peace can’t last.
*** September 19th ***
I knew it. I knew this was too good to be true. Fuck, fuck, fuck!!
Here it is. The thing that’s going to sour my year right back to normal. I knew I should have kept my head down! What possessed me to think that everything would be okay? I’ve gotten lazy and complacent, that’s what.
Okay. Deep breaths. So the guys thought we should go lark about a bit, play a fun game at the basketball court. What could possibly go wrong, right? So we divided up into teams and started messing around as guys normally do. Now I know I’m good at basketball. It was one of the many things that antagonized people before. Still, it didn’t look like that would be a problem here – the guys were chuffed with how good I was, joked I’d been holding back on them. It was just so nice, letting go for what felt like the first time in forever.
And then he turned up. I noticed Kiba still at first, then elbow Shikamaru in the ribs.
“Look, it’s Sasuke! Do you think he might like to referee, keep up practice?”
Shikamaru shrugged and went to ask him. I took a moment to study this paragon of virtue that had everyone’s jaws hanging and tails wagging. I hated him on sight. His stance was instantly familiar to me; the arrogance, the conceit, the flat look in his eyes as they landed on me. I saw an eyebrow rise as Shikamaru laid out our request, and the indifferent shrug as he accepted.
Hackles rising, I tried to ignore him and resume play. I managed to even forget he was there for a little while, when his whistle sounded just as I was fainting to the side to stop Choji in his tracks.
“Foul!” Sasuke’s bored voice intoned.
“What!! How d’you figure that one?!” I was beside myself.
“Don’t play stupid. You smacked his hand instead of the ball. That is called a foul, but I’m not surprised you don’t know the rules. Have you actually even played before?”
I was shaking. I looked at Kiba for support, but he just shrugged apologetically.
“Never mind, Naruto. Let’s just carry on.”
A few deep breaths and I made myself relax. Not worth it. Not worth it, I kept thinking.
Ten minutes later it all went to hell. The whistle blew and,
“Traveling,” his voice cut through the friendly bickering that was our game. Guess who had the ball at the time? Yeah.
“Okay, this is ridiculous. I was not traveling!” Seething now. I didn’t see how this was not going to end in a punch-up.
“Uh, Sasuke? I don’t think he was traveling…” Kiba’s voice drifted off at the frigid look from Sasuke.
“Did you actually want a referee, or were you just wasting my time? He made another half step after dribbling last. If you don’t want someone to call you up on a mistake, you don’t really want a referee, you want an audience, something you won’t find in me.”
His black eyes were boring into me, peeling away layers of shielding and defense, drilling straight into my insecurities and fears. I couldn’t stand it.
“Well, no one wants a blind referee, so I guess you’re off the hook! Maybe we’ll put some money together, get you some glasses for the next time you want to play at blowing a whistle!”
It was a moment before I realized this had come from my own mouth. I heard Kiba snort next to me and closed my eyes. Crap. I was in for it now.
He stood there looking at me for a few moments. I knew what he saw and I tried not to cringe. Spiky, untamed blond hair, ridiculously blue eyes, a fairly toned body, if a little underfed. It was then that I registered the gasps and broke eye contact with him to look around. Oh holy hell. There was a bunch of girls sitting in the stands, gaping murderously at me and staring adoringly at Sasuke. It wasn’t a stretch to make the connection – his fan club. Of course he’d have one, just look at him – tall, dark and handsome. The words crumbled in my mouth, Jiraiya’s ‘romantic lead prototype’ flashing briefly in my mind. This was it, in the flesh.
His lips curled into a sneer that twisted his face in an interesting way.
“Chain your dog, Inuzuka. It seems he slipped though your mummy’s clutches to follow you to school.”
With that he turned and stalked out of the court, his gaggle of fans on his heels. The guys groaned and looked at me with varying degrees of sympathy. I stood there frozen, stomach twisting and twitching, teeth gritted, staring after him.
And then it got worse. A green whirlwind accosted me out of nowhere, and a painfully cheerful voice practically deafened me.
“That was a most excellent and youthful game, my lovely students! And you, Naruto! Your passes! Your assists!! I want you on my team! Meet me and your new team for practice tomorrow at 5.30 pm right here! Excellent, excellent! Now go spread your youthfulness on this beautiful day!”
And the green-and-black tornado flounced off as fast as it had arrived. Now everyone was looking at me with awe.
“Gai sensei wants you on the team! That’s amazing, Naruto! I knew you were good, but that good?”
I looked numbly at Kiba. “Explain. Please. I’m not sure my brain is still functioning.”
So he did. About Gai sensei the basketball couch. And the team. And how Sasuke was the team captain and VIP every other game. And how he was a senior, and the class president, and had a 178 IQ and was a shoo-in for Dartmouth as soon as he graduated, and his family was rich beyond anything and had a private medical and pharmaceutical research company, and his brother had been the basketball team captain before him and had taken them to Nationals, and the huge chip on Sasuke’s shoulder about that. What he basically explained was that I was fucked. Sideways.
As I sit in my room now I am contemplating throwing in the towel and backing off from everything. It’ll be easy. Just two years. Then I can go off somewhere far away and never think about Naruto Uzumaki, the freak and loser.
But then I see Sasuke’s face twisted in a sneer so familiar it punches me in the gut, his contempt fresh in his eyes. I’m so tired of running away. It kills a little part of me every time I do. I am surprised to acknowledge that I have reached the point where I’ve had enough. Enough of being bullied and despised for something out of my control. If he’s going to hate me, by God it will be earned. I will not allow him to make my life hell without a fight. Sasuke Uchiha, meet the person who will not back away from your money and your influence and your power just because it’s you who’s doing the pushing.
*** October 2nd ***
Practice is hell today. Gai sensei pushes and pushes and then pushes some more. Strangely, I’m getting used to the rhythm of physical and emotional exhaustion that has become my life of late.
Today’s practice is nothing on the first one I attended. As I walked in and was greeted and introduced around by Gai sensei I could feel his eyes drilling a hole in the back of my head. As Gai sensei got around to Sasuke’s turn, I could almost feel my resolve withering and dying a swift death. And then there was Lee. God bless Lee, the strange, strange man that he is. I’m sure I’m not the first one to make the mini-Gai connection. His enthusiasm is a veritable force of nature. As the other seniors took me in, rather skeptically I might add, Lee just went off on one about the beauty of new friendships and some such, and before I knew it I was part of the team.
The other players are a strange mix. There is Neji, Hinata’s cousin as it turns out, who is far too controlled for his own good. Then there is Kankuro, another transfer who came to the school last year. He’s okay, a little reserved, but we seem to have struck a rapport. Kiba, Shino and Shikamaru are reserves, as it turns out. Then there is the last member of the team – Gaara. He is Kankuro’s brother and a problem.
A problem, because the second I lay eyes on him, I know him. Not in a ‘hey, you were in my class last week’ way, but rather like ‘if circumstances were different, I might have been in the bed next to you during one of my hospital stays in another life’. He has the same haunted look in his eyes I recognize from seeing it in the mirror on a daily basis for a long time. I know he recognizes the connection as well. I’ve yet to figure out what to do about Gaara. He is strong, no doubt, to have got through that hell and survived, but it has left him empty. He looks underfed, just like me, and like he has permanent insomnia. I feel his eyes on me, trying to figure me out. They are not like Sasuke’s. There is nothing threatening or sinister in them. There is nothing at all, like I’m an insect he’d like to understand before putting aside. I surprise myself with wanting to help him. I know what it’s like to be this empty. If it weren’t for Jiraiya, I’d be the same now. But there is life after that. I think I’d like to help Gaara see that, find that.
Back to today’s practice, and I make an assist to Sasuke, because he is in the perfect position. Naturally, he makes the shot and scores, but there is no celebratory hi-five for Sasuke and me. I’m getting tired of the hostility. He looks at me sometimes in such a strange way, like he’s trying to strip my skin away, bore into my soft underbelly. It makes me shiver, and I don’t know why. He’s still an arsehole.
*** October 25th ***
Iruka sensei asks me to stay after class today, to help him with a project. Iruka sensei is totally awesome. He’s my favourite teacher ever. He teaches Geography and Biology, I’m in his Biology class. He has asked Gaara to help him as well. We’re setting up a mayfly experiment, DNA crossing and such. It is for the senior class, but it turns out I am very good at Biology, and Iruka sensei is giving me some extra lessons to keep me interested after I devoured the junior class textbooks. Me and Gaara have been getting on well. Once I decided Sasuke wasn’t going to chase me away, I ditched my shell altogether – in for a penny, in for a pound, I figured. So I’ve been my usual loud, obnoxious, charming self for over a month now. Astonishingly, it’s made me more, not less, popular around the school. I’m friends with quite a lot of people now, girls too. Ino and I have been getting on like a house on fire. She nags and fidgets and yells and cajoles, and I give back about the same. If I weren’t otherwise inclined, and she wasn’t in Sasuke’s fan club (one of our loudest arguments is on that subject), while secretly fancying Shikamaru, I’d totally go out with her. She’s like the sister I never had. I can’t say the same about Sakura, she seems to have disliked me on sight.
So, about a week or so back I asked Gaara and Kankuro to come hang out with the rest of the gang, which by this time included Lee as well. We had a smash, went to my house as Jiraiya was away for a few days handing over the final draft of his latest novel. We got pizzas and beer and watched every game they showed on TV and bickered and fought and generally had a blast. Much later that night, as almost everyone had either passed out or was about to in the living room, Gaara came to find me in the kitchen where I was attempting to install some sort of order. I don’t like drinking all that much, it makes me feel helpless, out of control, and that is something I never ever want to feel again. Gaara didn’t seem to be much of a drinker himself. I smiled at him and invited him to sit at the kitchen table with me and some tea. We tentatively spoke about ‘before’ and foster homes, and the system, and Kankuro and Temari, his sister, and Jiraiya. Temari had chosen to go to a different school from her brothers, a bid for independence and standing on her own two feet. Gaara promised to ask her to come round next time when I said I would like to meet her. We parted with an understanding. I hope he knows he’s made a friend for life in me.
But before we parted, the conversation took an interesting turn. I blamed the beer.
“So, you and Sasuke, huh?”
I almost spat out my tea. “What the hell do you mean by that?”
“He’s mightily obsessed with you, you know. He talks about you all the time. Like what pass you made today or how that shot was amazing, and how your body was practically made to play basketball.”
At my utterly gobsmacked look, he went on. “Oh, don’t worry; he only speaks to Neji, Kankuro, me and Lee about you. He tries to insult you but every time the insult turns into some backhanded compliment. I think he likes you and hates that he does.”
“Gaara, mate, you must have lost your mind. There is no way in hell he likes me. He hates my guts! He scowls at me every time he sees me, and tries to trip me as I pass him on the court, and insults me every chance he gets. I don’t think he’s capable of liking anyone, he’s so cold he’s frigid.”
Gaara looked at me for a minute or two. “You really don’t get him, do you? He’s not like that at all. It’s all just a front. I suppose you’ve only really known him for a month or so. He’s okay, Sasuke is. You can’t imagine how loyal he is to his friends. I know he seems like an arsehole, but… remember last week, when his cheekbone was all bruised up and he had cuts everywhere?”
I wanted to deny it, say I didn’t really notice, but I had. I’d been horrified by the fact that as soon as I saw his shiner, I was instantly concerned for him. I nodded vaguely.
“That was when a gang of thugs attacked Neji on his way back from his part-time job. He’d been on his way to meet Sasuke. You wouldn’t know that Sasuke has a black belt in ju-jitsu. He beat the crap out of them as soon as he heard the commotion and legged it over there. Neji can take care of himself, but not against so many. One of the thugs had to be hospitalized, Sasuke went that mad. He’d do anything for his really close friends. He doesn’t have many, you see.”
I was unwillingly impressed. It was annoying. I didn’t want to feel anything but irritation towards Sasuke. Why was everyone telling me how awesome he is? So I grumbled and sneered and made a vague allusion to Sasuke’s fan club and Gaara being part of it. His hand twitched on the table, but he smiled instead of punching me, which was nice of him.
“You are too prejudiced. I know how he looks. He looked the same way to me when I saw him last year. But he would never, ever, even if his life depended on it, fuck you over like those others would at the drop of a hat. He’d be the one to stand between you and them, even if he didn’t like you. Just… try to see that, Naruto. You lash out at him as much as he does at you. What is he supposed to think, when every time your mouth opens you go on about how you’re better than him, and he’s a bastard, and you gleefully point out every tiny mistake he makes. He’s not perfect. He’s only human, and he thinks you hate him.”
My stomach clenched at the quite accurate appraisal Gaara had just dished out. Oh God. Gaara’s right, he thinks I hate him. And all because he’s too deeply connected in my mind with the people that used to make my life not worth living. But he’s not them. And it’s me that’s been the arsehole here. I rubbed my face harshly.
“Okay, Gaara. You’ve made your point. I’ll try to do better from now on.”
***
Now, when I see Gaara, I smile at him and get a small smile back. Iruka sensei puts us to work quickly – there’s not much time before our next practice and my stomach is trying to tie itself up in knots at the thought of interacting with Sasuke with all my newfound knowledge fresh in my mind. To distract myself I propose we all go out for a burger or two after practice, to which Gaara agrees as happily as he is able to show.
We walk slowly down to the courts in comfortable silence. We go into the changing rooms and the level of noise climbs up dramatically. I mention my proposal and it is received with universal aplomb. I make an effort to look at Sasuke, purposefully trying to include him in the ‘everybody’. He looks surprised, but there is a tiny lift in the corner of his mouth. He is pleased, I realize, and the resulting explosion of warmth in the pit of my stomach takes me completely by surprise. I feel cold all over. Oh God. This can’t be happening. I can’t be falling for Sasuke Uchiha, him with the all-girl fan club and rumours of different dates every weekend.
I look at him, and it’s like it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him. I see he’s taller than me by about 2 inches. I see that his shoulders are muscular, well-defined and broader than mine. I see that he is lean and toned, and that his waist is narrow, and that as he turns around to pull on his shirt his back is mouthwateringly delicious, all lean muscles and tapered spine, and his arse… holy hell, his arse is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I can feel a reaction starting low in my stomach and I turn around hurriedly to face my locker. This is beyond bad. This is so, so bad that I don’t know if I’ll be able to live through it.
***
Well. This practice is a revelation. For the first time since I laid eyes on Sasuke I’m able to relax around him. The result is an incredible, almost instant rapport. It’s like I know exactly where he is at any time, my passes fly straight to his hands and my assists cross his path unerringly at precisely the right angle. We score more points each than all the rest of the players together. We still bicker and try to outdo one another, but the feeling behind the action has changed. It is no longer changed with hostility and defensiveness. It’s much closer to a friendly competition now. I still want to beat him, but my focus has shifted along with the mood. I want to win, because I want him to see me win, to acknowledge that, in that instant, I am better than him. God help me, I want him to really see me.
Gai sensei is delighted with our progress and has been prancing about (there is no other word to describe his half-dancing, half-skipping stride) for the past half-hour, gloating about how we’re definitely going to the Nationals again this year. We pile into the changing rooms, sweaty, tired but totally geared up. As we head for the showers I experience the first of several ‘oh, shit’ moments of the afternoon. Showers. Naked. Sasuke. Just the thought makes my cock twitch with anticipation. Horrified, I rush ahead to the end shower stall and turn the water to freezing; that seems to take care of the burgeoning problem. Unfortunately, I pass Sasuke on my way out, all sleek with suds, water sluicing down his delectable back, and my ‘problem’ is back in full force. Thankfully, though, I’m the first one back in the changing rooms and, with some effort, I manage to talk it down. I get dressed hurriedly and, as everyone else starts filing in from the showers, I tell them I’ll wait for them at the school gates. I definitely need some air after that particular revelation.
Sasuke. The school hero. The school playboy too, for that matter. Most certainly straight as a rail. Zero shirt-lifter tendencies. I am falling for Sasuke Uchiha. Worse, it’s more than a physical attraction. I like that he is so loyal to his friends. I like to see him smile with Neji and Lee. I like it when he passes the ball to Kankuro even if he has a good position lined up, rather than taking all the credit himself, as he certainly could do. I like how he ignores his fan club, but is never nasty or superior about it. Most of all, I like the way he smiles at me after a particularly spectacular pass or shot. Therein lies the danger. I know I like guys better than girls, even went all the way with a guy once or twice, but I never felt like that for any of the others. Like I would enjoy spending the evening lying with my head in his lap, watching a game, eating crisps and popcorn and squabbling over who goes to get another beer. Just imagining his hand in my hair, his face leaning closer for a kiss, his lips closing over mine… It’s enough to make my skin feel like it’s on fire with the need to be touched.
Of course, all this is purely hypothetical, since there’s no way in hell it could ever happen with him. First, he’s far too reserved to show his feelings openly, and second, even if he wasn’t, I don’t have the right equipment for lounging in his lap; I’m too hard in places that should be soft. I push a hand through my hair, too distracted by my thoughts to notice I’m no longer alone. There’s a tentative hand on my shoulder, and I almost jump as I twist round. Oh God. It’s him.
“Everyone’s on their way,” he states, almost nervously. I give him a small smile and a nod, and he relaxes. I hadn’t registered before how deep his voice is, almost purring, caressing my ears. I blush and step back, his hand falling from my shoulder; I miss the heat immediately. He looks distracted and I can only imagine what he’s thinking.
The sound of several buoyed voices reaches us and we seem to snap out of it, turning towards them. My face is still warm, but I don’t think it’s that obvious any more. Sasuke stands next to me, trying not to fidget.
We walk over to the little burger joint that is three blocks from the school and seems to be a meeting place of sorts for students. The mood is easy and relaxed, which makes my pulse slow eventually. As we sit we are jostled by a party leaving from the next table over, and in the commotion I am pushed down next to Sasuke on the long bench. There are eight of us trying to fit on a table for six, so we are crushed quite close to each other, my thigh sliding against Sasuke’s, elbows touching. My skin erupts in goosebumps and I shuffle nervously, but that only serves to press me closer to the furnace that is Sasuke’s body. I can’t even look at him, I’m so embarrassed, but something catches my eye and when I turn my head, even thought he’s looking straight ahead there is the faintest tinge of pink on his high cheekbones and on the tips of his ears. Something painful sparks in my belly and I want to reach over and put my hand on his thigh, let him know I’m with him. I resist with a monumental effort; this situation is messing with my brain something fierce.
I make myself get distracted with menus and ordering and jibes and jokes, until the knowledge that it is Sasuke pressing to my side is not right at the front of my mind. I can’t help enjoying myself, though.
The waitress comes over and it’s immediately clear that everyone knows her apart from me. She’s a pretty brunette with gorgeous hazel eyes and a lovely soft face, slender neck, body willowy but not skinny, long legs standing out in the white shorts that go with the uniform.
“Hey there Reina! Long time no see! How’ve you been?” Neji is smiling affably at her and she smiles back and waves. She has straight teeth white as pearls.
“Hi boys! I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve seen you all!” She looks at everyone around the table, and I notice her smile brighten at the sight of Sasuke. I look to check, and see that he’s smiling back at her, the gentlest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. It punches me in the gut.
“And who is this handsome gentleman?” She teases, looking at me, and it’s impossible not to respond to the completely open grin she shoots me. So I smile back and don’t fight it.
“Naruto Uzumaki; pleased to meet you, miss. I’ve only just started here this September.”
“And already you are on the basketball team! I am so impressed, you must be good. I’ll come watch one of your practices soon, I miss hanging out with you guys!”
She takes our order and things seem to get back to the teasing insults and banter that is the normal method of communication in our group. Our food arrives and we devour it with intent. We spend at least an hour there, just joking round, and it’s glorious, being able to spend time like that with these people who have become even more than friends to me in the past couple of months. I am still hyperaware of Sasuke next to me, his every move caressing parts of me. I am so hard I’m aching, and I have no idea how I’m going to get up from the table when we stand to leave without thoroughly embarrassing myself and having to answer uncomfortable questions.
Just then Sasuke excuses himself and gets up to go to the bathroom. I breathe a sigh of mixed relief and craving. My every muscle is straining to stop me from following him to the bathroom and… oh. He’s stopped to talk with Reina by the kitchen doors. He is smiling and leaning towards her, and she is doing the same, standing closer to him than is necessary. She laughs at something he says and I can hear the tinkling sound from here. She is such a lovely girl, why couldn’t I fancy her? Sasuke leans closer still to her, almost speaking in her ear. She leans back to look at him, smile turning sly. Then she turns around and looks straight at me, same saucy smirk on her lips, and I have to blink a couple of times, confused. My eyes move to Sasuke, who is looking back at me with an unreadable expression. I can’t stand the pressure of his eyes, so I look away. When I look back a minute later, I see them still standing there, heads close, her hand on his arm, fingers stroking his sleeve.
Well, that takes care of my erection. I can see there’s something between them, something real. It’s more than clear that this is something important to him, more important than anything I would ever do. My heart seems to shrink and I lose my good mood. I make an effort for the guys, but it’s clear I’m no longer enjoying myself quite as much. I meet Gaara’s gaze; the concern in his eyes is plain for me to see, even though no one else would notice. I shake my head in a tiny move that tells him I’ll talk to him later.
Soon after that the party breaks up and we head home. Jiraiya is away again this week and I know that the house will be silent and empty, which doesn’t help my mood any. Gaara offers to drive me home, and I gratefully agree. I want to get away from Sasuke, try to sort my head out. It’s quiet in the car; Kankuro’s opted to go play some games at Lee’s house before heading home. I look out of the window, the quiet sounds from the tires hitting the road soothing me from my sulk.
“They used to go out, last year. Spent almost all their time together, planning their senior year and college applications. Her family is fairly well off, she only works at the diner because she wants to earn some money for herself for college, have a bit more freedom.”
I try to pretend I’m not at all interested in this, but I think Gaara knows it’s all a ruse.
“She broke up with him. That’s never happened before, usually girls cling to him like flies to honey. You’ve seen them. But she broke things off towards the beginning of summer. We never found out why, he won’t talk about it. He’s still really close to her though, you saw them today. I don’t think they’ll be getting back together though.”
“Why are you telling me all this?” I ask him numbly. It’s not like I can lie to him, there’s too much between us for it to hold sway. But I’m not ready to give up the pretence either.
“Please. You’ve looked like a kicked puppy ever since you saw them together. Naruto, it’s okay. I’m not going to freak out because you like guys. I think… I think I might like guys myself, but I’m not ready to test it yet. So chill.”
I groan and bury my face in my hands. We’re sitting outside the house by now with the engine turned off, but I can’t make myself move.
“I’m so pathetic,” I whisper. “I can’t believe I fell for him. Someone I haven’t the slightest chance with. It’s all your fault, you know,” I grouch at him. “You made me see him as a real person and it all went downhill from there.”
“Naruto. You are not pathetic. As for chances… well, I wouldn’t give up just yet if I were you.”
I glance up at Gaara, startled from my pity party. He’s gazing at my house, and when I move my eyes to follow I see Sasuke leaning on the hood of his car, eyes locked on me. I look back at Gaara, who’s smiling faintly. In the next moment he’s pushing me out of the car and I’m tumbling to a stop next to Sasuke. Gaara gives me a wave and drives off. I gape at his taillights for a moment before getting a grip and turning to Sasuke.
“Um, hi?”
“Hi. I hope it’s okay that I dropped by. Can I talk to you? Inside, I mean?”
I shake myself. “Sure.” I unlock the door and let us both in. I drop my bag by the door and watch him do the same. We walk into the kitchen while I’m still pinching myself.
“Coffee?” I offer, for something to do.
“Yes, please.”
I busy myself with the familiar ritual – boil the kettle, take out and fill the French press, take out two mugs, mine with the tiny orange fox and my second favourite, a pretty duck-egg blue mug with a little penguin on the side. I pour the coffee when it’s done and hand him the mug. We’ve been standing in silence until now, and my curiosity is piqued. I watch him take a drink and curve his lips at the taste, before gathering myself to ask,
“So, wh-“
He goes from staring at me to taking both our cups and putting them down on the counter. Then he crowds me back into the corner and presses his thigh between my legs, his chest against mine, holds my wrists down on the counter top. Slowly, giving me time to react, he leans down, his lips touching mine ever so softly. His breath is coffee-scented, so sweet as it touches my face. My eyes flutter close and I’m drowning in sensation as I lean closer to him and deepen the kiss. There are no thoughts in my head, nothing but ‘yes’ and ‘more’ and ‘please’. He kisses me thoroughly, tongue caressing mine slowly, sliding against it and making my knees turn to mush. I press closer to him, my legs falling open so that he can feel what his kiss is doing to me. He shifts nearer, thigh sliding against the bulge now evident in my jeans. Thrillingly, I feel an answering bulge against my hip where he’s rubbing against me. My cock twitches with the need to be closer to him, to feel bare skin against mine. I free my hands and twist them into his shirt, tugging him closer still, rubbing harder against him, drawing a moan from those delectable soft lips.
I have to break for air, which I take in deep gulps. It clears my head a little, which he is not helping as he trails his lips down my jaw and kisses the soft skin beneath my ear. My eyes roll in my head as a wave of heat crashes over me and threatens to engulf me.
“Wait, wait!” I gasp out even as I’m drawing him closer. He stops and looks up so that I can see his eyes. “Sasuke,” I whisper. I’m a fool for stopping him, but I need to know what this is here, how much of myself I can give away. “What are we doing?” I plead with him to tell me. My hands can’t seem to uncurl from the hold I have on his shirt.
He sighs and pulls away slightly. I can’t hold back the whimper of protest. He smiles at me, and it’s every bit as genuine as when he smiled at Reina this afternoon. This gives me the strength to let him go.
“Here, sit down.” He pushes me into a chair at the table and drags the other one over so he can sit in front of me. He takes my hand and plays with my fingers as he speaks. “I hope I haven’t come on too strong for you. I like you. I’ve liked you ever since you leveled those angry eyes on me that afternoon. There were sparks flying from you, and I couldn’t help but annoy you more, so that I could see more of your wild energy. You dazzled me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. But you were so distant, and you looked at me like I was a bug on the ground that you had to squash to get past. I don’t know what changed to make you really see me, but I am so happy that it did.”
My mouth snaps shut. I can’t quite take that in. “But… the girls-“
He stops me before I can go on. “You must know that’s all for show. The star of the basketball team being bent is not something I have been eager to advertise up until now.”
“So you’re saying that… what? What do you want from me?” I am desperate to know.
“Everything. That rule no longer applies. I have something to hang on to now. I don’t care anymore what anyone has to say. I have you. I hope,” he looks down almost shyly.
“Sasuke,” I can only whisper again as I twist my hand to intertwine our fingers.
“It was Reina who really hit the nail on its head. She broke up with me when she realized I was more into guys than girls. It was really hard, we were very close. She is the only person outside my family who knows, she’s been really supportive.” He smiles a crooked grin. “When she saw me sitting next to you, she just knew. She said to me, ‘Sasuke, you can’t let that one walk away’, and I agreed with her. She likes you, she wants to get to know you better. Maybe we could go out to dinner soon, together?”
Together. The beast in my belly is back, but this time it’s roaring with approval. “So, we’re together? You are going to be my boyfriend?”
His smile is blinding. “I like the sound of that. My Naruto,” he purrs over my lips as he leans close again, and this time I have no intention of stopping him. It’s everything I’ve been dreaming about and more. Holding him close is better than anything I can imagine. His hard body presses against mine and my skin goes up in flames. I take a good hold of his shirt and drag him into the living room, pressing him onto the coach as I throw myself on top of him, all restrain forgotten. He’s not pushing me away; is in fact dragging me even closer on top of him. My thighs fall open again as I straddle his straining cock, still trapped in his pants. He moans and presses up and into me, rubbing against my own erection. The feel of it is so good it snaps my head back in pleasure. I frantically tug his shirt over his head, desperate to feel his skin. He tugs the halves of my button-down apart savagely, buttons flying everywhere. I smile into his mouth.
His skin is a revelation. It is so soft, so perfectly pale, the barest of freckles circling his shoulders. It makes me want to bite him, mark him, insist, ‘mine’. His hands are sliding over my chest, tugging at my nipples. My groan is so loud it shatters the silence and with it the slow pace we’ve been trying to stick to. I tear at his pants, tugging them and his boxers down to uncover the perfect arch of his pale, dripping cock. My mouth waters and I immediately want to suck him down to the root. I can’t tear my eyes away from him so I don’t see him sitting up and pushing me away so that he can take off my jeans as well. My cock springs out, free at last from its vicious confinement. It’s his turn to stare, and I can feel the heat of his gaze. It makes me dribble pre-come in several small drops. He reaches for it, swipes it with his thumb and pushes it past his succulent lips and into his mouth, sucking it clean. I think I black out for a second from sheer lust. I push him back on the couch and do what I’ve been dreaming of since I saw him naked – I take him into my mouth, slide the fat head over my lips at first, then stroke the underside with my tongue, sliding down until the head hits the back of my throat.
He moans sharply, twitching up, trying to make me take more of him in. I oblige him and as I swallow around his head he cries out incoherently and pushes me away.
“Not yet,” he chokes out. “I don’t want to come yet. I want to taste you properly first. Your pre-come just whetted my appetite for you.”
He pushes my utterly compliant body underneath him on the sofa and slides down until my cock is level with his face. Slowly, ever so slowly, he licks the head and twists his tongue under the foreskin, lapping at the sensitive spot just under the head. My hands, searching for support, twist in his hair, which is much softer than I ever imagined, I don’t know how it stays up like that. His lips join his tongue, rubbing along the head. He has me moaning and panting under him so easily I would be offended if I could be bothered to do anything about it. I feel something slip in his mouth alongside my cock and look down to see he’s sucking on a finger. Just the thought of what he’s about to do with that finger almost makes me come, and I clutch him closer and bite my lip hard to stop my speedily approaching orgasm. He trails the wet finger past my balls, presses on my perineum for a moment, making me reflexively try to force my hips upward, and finally, finally reaches my entrance. He presses on the outside first gently, then more firmly. I lift my hips to try to force him inside me, but he chuckles around my cock, his other hand pushing me back down onto the sofa as I shudder with reaction to the vibration. At last I feel his finger slide inside me, and I immediately clench around it to stop it from leaving. Sasuke circles me from the inside, going further and further in with every rotation, until he hits that spot and I fairly shriek. There’s not stopping it this time; at a hard suck from Sasuke I explode in his mouth and down his throat, almost convulsing with the strength of my release. I flop back on the sofa, boneless and utterly sated.
Sasuke slithers up until he can kiss me, and I try to climb into his mouth. My hand acts without thought and I’m holding him in my palm, shaft slick from pre-come and deliciously hot. I can still taste him in my mouth as I start sliding my hand along him faster and tighter. His hips jerk and he buries his mouth in my neck and pants against my skin. My spent cock tries to twitch, but it’s too soon. A few fast jerks later he tenses and liquid spills all over my stomach and chest. He collapses on top of me, arms around me, face still in my neck. His breath is blissful against my heated skin. I lift my palm weakly and lick it clean. He eyes me, pupils completely dilated in lust.
“Oh, you tease,” he manages to growl. “Just give me fifteen minutes to regroup,” he threatens, and I give him my best cheeky grin. He kisses me in answer, shifting his legs to hold me still, like I would be going anywhere. It feels good, being possessed almost.
He really wants me, I tell myself over and over. We break our kiss and lay there, happy just being with each other.
“So, you’ll be my boyfriend, right? Please?” I hear in my ear. I sigh happily.
“Yes.”
***
I don’t know how things will go. We are both stubborn and competitive, and like to get our way. We’ll likely argue and fight and scheme and hate each other and love each other in equal measures. I hope I can keep him. I hope I can let him keep me.
As, some time later, I finally feel his fingers inside me, stretching me wide for his lovely thick cock, I swear to myself to make a real effort to get over my hang-ups properly, to avoid pushing him away as I do with so many people.
I am thoroughly slick and open as he at last presses his gorgeous cock inside me, stretching me, impaling me on him. The feeling is addictive; I don’t think I can live without it ever again. A good final push and he’s all the way in, his balls slapping my arse; I am so relieved I could cry. I lift up and into him, taking him even deeper and am rewarded with a groan and a hard slide right inside me. Sasuke finds my spot quickly, easily, like he’s done it a thousand times already. I yell and clench hard around him. I can hear him panting in my ear, whispering my name, and alternating endearments and ‘fuck, yes’. His hand slips between our bodies and takes my cock firmly in his palm. I buck up with pleasure at the steady stroke up and down my length. I get closer and closer with every stroke, every whisper. His other hand pinches my nipple and it’s enough to carry me over the edge, still crying out his name. He bites my shoulder, hard, as he follows me over, triggering another wave of bliss from my exhausted body as I feel his release coating my insides. We shuffle until his head is on my shoulder, an arm and a leg thrown over me, holding me close. I fold my arms around him and just bask in contentment.
We’ll cross the other bridges when we come to them. Together.
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Date: 2010-03-23 02:24 am (UTC)I love this AU, I think the first person voice was done really awesomely. I only like first-person when it's done in a kind of off-hand, natural way and this works. Also, basketball! My mom is addicted to watching it, so that was delightful for me as well!
Ino is the loudest girl I’ve ever met, kind of like a female me. I really like this line! Mostly because I think so too!
the green-and-black tornado flounced off as fast as it had arrived. I was laughing so hard at this, because that is Gai-sensei all over.
He looks underfed, just like me, and like he has permanent insomnia. I just love how you explained Gaara's look, with his badger rings!
I think I’d like to help Gaara see that, find that. There is nothing that pleases me more than Gaara and Naruto as great friends. And Naruto wanting to help him is completely Naruto, you know?
Iruka sensei is totally awesome. He’s my favourite teacher ever. Ok, nothing pleases me more except any mention of Iruka-sensei.
It’s like I know exactly where he is at any time, my passes fly straight to his hands and my assists cross his path unerringly at precisely the right angle.
I totally had a Michael Jordan/Scottie Pippen moment here... I mean, Jordan used to just toss the ball and Pippen was THERE. I always loved that, that perfect synchronicity.
She is such a lovely girl, why couldn’t I fancy her? Thank you ever so much for not making her the villain.
I think… I think I might like guys myself, but I’m not ready to test it yet. *heartclench* Do you think you might ever write a Gaara fic based in this AU? Where he 'tests' this theory out?
We’ll likely argue and fight and scheme and hate each other and love each other in equal measures. Best SasuNaru summation.
Great work! I really really enjoyed it! AS YOU CAN TELL.
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Date: 2010-03-23 05:55 am (UTC)Holy shit, YES!!!1! I played basketball all the way through high school, was kinda obsessed with it (probably mostly due to the aforementioned crush, who I was sure back then was the love of my life ;p) and the Chicago Bulls were so gorram awesome back then! Those two were every fan's wet dream. Remember when they played in East Coast vs. West Coast Dream Teams? Fuck, that made me wet myself in bliss.
YES. OMFG, YES. I haven't written a Gaara fic yet, but I think this might be the one to start me off with. Who d'you think I should pair him off with? Lee? Neji? I'm never too sure on Gaara/OC. And Naruto is very taken! (At least in my universe he is!)
Thank you again! <333333 *flails* My bruised ego is somewhat restored!
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Date: 2010-03-23 04:26 pm (UTC)OOHHH MAAAANNN THOSE WERE THE DAYS WHEN THE DREAM TEAMS WERE ACTUALLY TEAMS MADE OF DREAMS OK. My mom was screaming all through those games. It was like watching magic happen.
I would LOVE to see side-stories of your two AU's! Like Kakashi/Iruka in "Naruto Uzumaki's Guide to Rescuing a CEO From Himself", and even a scene in that same one where Kakashi is teasing Sasuke about Gaara from Suna industries. Oh man I can almost see Gaara all dressed up in a suit and looking absolutely KILLER as he's perusing the crowd.
I don't know if you can tell that I love Gaara.
I do so love Lee/Gaara! But I'm so excited over the thought of Neji/Gaara!
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Date: 2010-03-23 06:43 pm (UTC)Gaara in a suit... *drools* He would so look killer! I can totally see Sasuke blushing when Kakashi caught him staring! I think I can fit this in quite easily in the sequel, I can see it now... And Kakashi locking Iruka up in his own lab and having his wicked way with him... *shivers* I need a KakaIru icon, I just realised.
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Date: 2010-03-29 03:49 am (UTC)And then I saw the reveals. And I was like "Well, if it's by sirona, it can't be all bad, right?" AND I WAS NOT WRONG.
I love Naruto's first encounter with Kiba, like woah, because they would TOTALLY be BFFs, given the chance, and I love that you show that Sasuke is not a total jerk, and I love your Gaara, and this line: So I grumbled and sneered and made a vague allusion to Sasuke’s fan club and Gaara being part of it. His hand twitched on the table, but he smiled instead of punching me, which was nice of him. *gigglesnort*
And Iiiiiino. She doesn't show up right away, just kind of mentions of her and how she gets along with Naruto, but I love it, anyway!
...And after that part of the gushing, I couldn't bring myself to switch windows to finish the comment, because reading this is just so addicting.
Plus! It hardly has anything to do with sports, so I don't feel like a complete idiot for not getting what's going on! :DDDD
The scenario is almost entirely based on personal experience (especially Sasuke's character), though sadly sans the happy ending. <-- This is why it took me a week to get around to reading this--I trust your writing to be ~*awesome*~ but I didn't feel like I could handle a not-happy ending, but you didn't mean the fic, you meant you, and that makes me feel like you need a hug. D'awww.
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Date: 2010-03-29 06:45 am (UTC)My favourite line, hands down.
Yeah, in case you hadn't realised yet, I don't do unhappy/ ambiguous endings. At all. I didn't even read
Also, *hugs back* At 16/17 it was the end of the world. The nice thing about my crush was, he didn't take advantage of me, which he totally could have, I was that infatuated. The not-so-good thing? He got off with all my friends except me. It may have been his way to demonstrate that he just wasn't that into me. Still, to be 17-year-old-melodramatic, he ripped my heart in half. It may have had something to do with the way I am now - I hold my cards/ emotions very close to my chest, especially if it looks like I might fancy someone. I think it has totally affected my writing style in that there has to be a happy ending. In the words of dearest Jane Austen, [perefrases] if I can't have a happy ending, I'm damn well gonna give my characters one.
And ooh, ooh! It's totally
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Date: 2010-03-29 04:05 pm (UTC)I ALMOST skipped over undehandy's exchange fic, but it had a cool title and I wanted to see how many authors I could guess, which required reading A LOT of fic. (I didn't read a lot of fic, and I didn't have a CLUE it was underhandy, but it was still immensely enjoyable.) Plus, the ending wasn't that ambiguous. (If you have undying faith that it could totally come out as a happy ending like I do, anyway.)
Oh~! I definitely want to read that! :D /stalks. I'LL BE WAITING.
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Date: 2010-03-29 07:12 am (UTC)Drabble/
“A ship! Captain, I see a ship approaching! ‘Tis Captain Uchiha’s Frigate, The Sharingan!”
“Konohamaru!” Naruto yelled. “How many times do I have to tell you to leave the look-out to Kiba! You have other duties! Such as scrubbing the entre deck for your insubordination yet again!”
“Oh, but Captain!” Konohamaru grouched as he shimmied down the ropes. “It’s not fair, I was only covering for Kiba while he has a cup of tea!”
“Stop it, you! You still want to be Captain one day, don’t you? Well, before you can give orders you have to learn to follow them!”
Before he could berate Konohamaru some more, he was interrupted overenthusiastically. “Is it really Sasuke’s ship?” Kiba screamed from across the deck, giving Naruto a headache and an earache in one fell swoop. Naruto winced, rubbing his temples in an effort to make it all go away.
Yamato sidled over to him, repeating Kiba’s question much more sedately, but with no less excitement. Naruto grinned his fox grin, making the whiskers-like scars in his cheeks wrinkle.
“Relax, Yamato, loverboy will be here shortly. After that I doubt I’ll see much of you for the duration of their stay, will I?”
Yamato’s fiery blush at the mention of his super-sexual lover never failed to entertain Naruto, even if it didn’t fool him for a second. Kakashi was such a pervert that it was definitely rubbing off on Yamato; neither of them would be able to walk straight for a week after this visit! He wondered if Sasuke ever had trouble with bow-legged Kakashi. Naruto knew Yamato would be good for nothing for at least three days after.
However, it was thoughts of Sasuke that occupied his mind foremost. It had been so long since he’d seen his rival/best friend/love of his life, almost 6 months gone, every day an agony of missing him and hating him and loving him in equal measures. Not for the first time he wondered why he allowed Sasuke to torture him like this; but he guessed that falling with the heart and falling with the head are two separate worlds.
He could hardly contain his joy to see Sasuke unharmed and as cocky and arrogant as ever. But before he fell before him and hugged the life out of him, swiftly followed by fucking him and being fucked through the mattress, he had to go and find the cat’o’nine tails. Appearances, after all, were everything when you were a Pirate ship’s Captain! /end drabble
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Date: 2010-03-29 04:09 pm (UTC)Have I mentioned that I started reading One Piece? Because I did, and A PIRATE AU is exactly what I needed right now. XD I cannot stop giggling, this is so awesome. <333
Incidentally, have you seen my drabble set? It's over here. And you haven't made a request, and I only have 4/10 drabbles requested, and I think you should definitely ask for something! :D
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Date: 2010-03-29 04:33 pm (UTC)I did see the drabble exchange! I was ever so excited too, but then I went offline for the weekend and I thought you'd be full of requests by the time I was back. I'm totally going over there now to request something :DDD
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Date: 2010-04-09 11:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-09 02:04 pm (UTC)Take that, nasty ff.net reviewer!<3<3<3no subject
Date: 2010-04-09 02:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-03 12:22 am (UTC)But OMFG - if I ever needed something to help me de-stress after my ASDASDSA exchange prompt, this is it. I read the first sentence, "Fuck. I hate doing this." and I knew - I just knew that this was going to be fun.
I loved the references to Ino and Naruto's friendship (really, they're my secret crack!couple. Because they're both full of crack. XD). And the friendship between Naruto and Gaara~!
His hand twitched on the table, but he smiled instead of punching me, which was nice of him. - If that doesn't scream BFF, then I don't know what does. That italicized sentence up there? Well, it's just one of those sentences that just won't leave you alone, even after you've finished reading the fic twice.
Admittedly, Sasuke was OOC, but trust me, I understand that you had to work within prompt confines. Ugh, restrictions are just so... UGH.
And basketball? HELL YEAH. You probably don't know this but I'm such a HUGE fan of the game. I used to dapple in the Slam Dunk fandom - unfortunately,it's not nearly as active as the Naruto fandom (but that's expected) but there are some really, really awesome fics that come out once in a while (basketball court sex is totally one of my kinks). I love how in sync they were, once Naruto stopped beign so tense around Sasuke - seriously, the world needs more SasuNaru basketball AUs (it's a wonder it isn't written more often; GAWD, HOW
CAN ANYONE RESIST THOSE LEAN, ATHLETIC BODIES???)
Gai as the team coach? Sooner or later, he'll convince all of the boys to wear tight, green spandex to practice. YESSSS.
And adhkjadhjklfd. Where did you LEARN to write such HOT STUFF? I mean, it's just not, well, fair - I can never write ze SMUTz even though I read it
like crazy. I liked this sentence, especially: His skin is a revelation. There's just somethign so uh ~lyrical~ about it, you know?I'm a sap at heart, I realizeTo be honest, I usually am not very fond of 1st person POVs, or OCs, but this was done surprisingly well! I like how you've nailed Kiba and co. But most of all, this was funny - I couldn't stop giggling at some parts! You do make a lot of references to people other than Sasuke and Naruto and that=♥♥♥. Really, while the porn is hot, it's the little things that make this fic awesome! :D
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Date: 2010-08-03 02:35 pm (UTC)Ino and Naruto are my favourite non-couply couple (if that makes sense at all):/. I just have a feeling that they would understand each other really well, so you'll find that she's Naruto's BGFF (best (girl) friend forever) in almost all my fics.
I think that Naruto and Gaara would be really close friends in whatever universe they are; at least, that's how I always write them. If NaruSasuNaru was not my OTP 4EVA, I would totally ship NaruGaa/GaaNaru, but the thought of Sasu-chan and Naru-chan not ending up together breaks my sappy fangirl heart. :DD
A SASUNARUSASU BASKETBALL AU SHOULD BE DONE MUCH, MUCH MORE OFTEN. EVEN NEJI IN A BASKETBALL KIT WOULD BE HAWT BEYOND ANYTHING.
Gai as the team coach? Sooner or later, he'll convince all of the boys to wear tight, green spandex to practice. -- OMG. THAT THOUGHT IS SIMPLY HORRIFYING.
Re: the smut -- here are my three ironcast rules on how to write decent smut.
1. RESEARCH. I research everything obsessively, and even (and this may be TMI) try out some of the more interesting stuff so that I know what the hell I'm writing about.
2. MAKE IT INTERESTING. I hate, hate reading boring sex. I'd rather skip straight over it, and I wish that the writer would, too. When I write it, in the front of my mind are two things: making it believable, and using a varied vocabulary (this is where the Thesaurus comes in).
3. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF CALLING A 'COCK' A 'COCK'. This rule does not apply to everyone -- my beta, for example, hates that sort of thing, but for me a sex scene is a sex scene, so I might as well call it that. My porn is usually NC-17 all the way.
That's not to say that I can't do the softer stuff, though. For this sn_e I did exactly that, in fact.
1st person POV was a pain in the arse to write. I'm not too keen on it myself, but this just screamed for it.
I'm so glad you found it funny! I'm so glad you liked it, full stop! Not my best, but -- well -- I do have a soft spot for a few bits and pieces in there.
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Date: 2010-08-06 05:13 pm (UTC)And this is your most shameful fic? Well, we all have one, it seems (the fic I submitted for the exchange is going to be mine). Let's commiserate. *hold up stacks of alcohol*
There are still things I like about it, and you've spotted almost all of them. - actually, it wasn't hard at al to find these little things. I guess when the writer herself likes something she writes, the reader automatically does too. That's my theory, anyway.
(I ventured into the NaruIno fandon out of curiousity and was surprised to find it... quite free of badfic, actually. Well, not 'free', but the number of badics don't skyrocket everyday like in he SasuSaku and SasuNaru fandoms. I've read quite a few excellent and equally hilarious NaruIno stories, and it's surprising that they can work so well together, you know? But, I totally get you about the non-couply couple thing as well.)
To tell you the truth, I'm not really a CRAZY fan of SasuNaru
My OT3 has irreversibly brainwashed me, mostly because I've never seen it done well in fandom (with a few exceptions, of course, and even then, it's... so so.You can account that to me being super-picky.Why, you ask? That's a long, long story.) because I'm quite liberal when it comes to pairings. And because I believe Sasuke should be paired with EVERYTHING THAT WALKS. He's just too HOT to confine himself to one manand thus deny the rest of the world population of his fabled delights. I did not say that.Srsly. *gets bricked*WHAT? Why is the thought of sexy men in tight spandex horrifying? I mean,yes, it would be a fashion disaster now, wouldn't it, but hey, look on the bright side: It makes for really nice ogling. XD HOTNESS AND BASKETBALL GO HAND TO HAND. That is an UNIVERSAL TRUTH.
Now, to get to the good part:
1. Yes, RESEARCH is IMPORTANT (I have a feeling that Jiraiya would've loved to have an apprentice like you, were he alive. XD). And there's nothing wrong with trying things out on your own at all - if you thought that'd offend me, then think again. :p
2. Boring sex? You mean, the ones where character A does this to character B and character B makes all kinds of interesting noises. then characters B does that, and character A out that in and... you get the point. That just drags, doesn't it?
3. And oh dear god. This is where I have PROBLEMS. I usually have no scruples with naming body parts (Bio is my best subject, after all) but lately, I can't seem to do it. It's not that I don't WANT to do it (3 or 4 month back, I used to do it all the time) - I can call a 'COCK' a 'COCK', no problem, but it's just that - I can't seem to get in as many body parts as I'd like. Recently, I think i've developed this notion that sex feels more intimate the less body parts you name.
And like you, I did exactly that for this sn_exchange as well. My recipient wanted hard and fast and raunchy but she also wanted fluffy and happy and warm. And melsing those categories together spelled CREATIVE SUICIDE. So I tried to strike a balance - I didn't find one, though. And I'm not happy with the sex scene (the one on the shore) for my sn_exchaneg either. I don't usually write it that, uh, soft but the moment called for it...
1st person POV. Ugh, I so get your pain. I don't know - maybe run on sentences and second person POV would've been good for this one too? I don't know - but I know this writer who can pull run-on sentences off really well (her penname's white_knuckle).
Anyway, I'm off to write (really pitiful attempts at) porn now, which I'm hoping to post by tomorrow. I'll keep all your advice in mind - I sudden;y seemed to have lost my ability to write anything sexy, so I need them. *clings*