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sirona_ficsSpace Piracy: Lessons in Love, Ass-Kicking, and Instant Noodles, Part Two
Part Three
The first step to mastering the program in his head--or stomach--or wherever the stupid thing is sealed, is intense meditation. Jiraiya monitors his vital signs and wakes Naruto up when he starts to doze. No one else is allowed into the room, due to Naruto's complete inability to concentrate on anything for more than approximately thirty seconds before drifting off to something different.
Jiraiya is most annoyed with the way Naruto fidgets like a tadpole as soon as his concentration breaks. He's supposed to stay perfectly still--how else can he synchronise himself to the program? They have to become one, mind-and-information, in perfect balance if there's ever a chance for Naruto to be able to impose his will on the viral code, let alone on the entire recovered program. So he's taken to wack him on the head every time he fidgets, via the ship maintenance bot stationed right behind him. Natuto yelps in a most satisfying manner that makes Jiraiya all tingly in the part of him that still enjoys petty revenge. Still, the boy shows promise--Jiraiya can already feel the program stirring, reaching for Naruto's subconsciousness. Now if only the damned whelp could really focus, reach out to the program with his conscious mind--then they would really be getting somewhere.
Meanwhile, another part of Jiraiya is having a chat with Kakashi and Sai. Iruka is sitting in the background with Yamato, both working on their plasma screens but making no secret of the fact that they are listening to every word. As two of the six official senior members of the crew, they are privy to any and all important information as a matter of course.
"We have to find the Hachibi as soon as possible. We have to get him on our side and work out how the eigth piece is stored, as well as the least damaging way to extract it. I've been scanning the wavelengths for any mention of him, but it's as if he didn't exist. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Akatsuki have him. But I'm quite certain they don't - Itachi hasn't mentioned a word of it. I'm leaning towards the conclusion that he's being protected, kept somewhere in complete lockdown. And the only place I can think of that has that sort of lockdown containment facility is--"
"Kumogakure," Kakashi finishes for him. "You think they've sealed him in the Falls of Truth?"
"I'm pretty sure that's the case. His brother, Kumogakure's captain, would go to any lengths to keep him safe."
"So we have to go through the ship's captain in addition to the Falls of Truth containment facility's defences? It's one thing after another these days!" Yamato grouches, annoyed.
"That's exactly how it is."
The groan of frustration could be heard three doors down. Which is, in fact, exactly what happens as Sasuke moves to enter the mess hall and stops mid-step to consider the sound. Karin plows into his back, more intentionally than because of being startled. Sasuke doesn't make a sound, though he can certainly feel and not appreciate the elbow digging into his spine. What makes it all so much worse is Suigetsu not paying attention, thus tripping and landing on top of Karin. This time Sasuke growls menacingly, not that his childish teammates pay any attention to him. He shrugs the two off in a heap on the floor and makes his way into the room to face a smirking Sakura.
"Your team horizontally challanged, as well as vertically?"
Suigetsu flails from the bottom of the pile. "Hey, I am not that much shorter than Zabuza! He's just freakishly tall!"
Sasuke sticks a foot back, nudging Suigetsu and Karin none-too-gently. "As you see. What's all that groaning coming from the bridge?"
"They're talking about the Hachibi, I imagine. Unless he's telling them that Naruto is an idiot, but then they already knew that."
"Isn't he your captain?"
"Yeah, your point? I've known him since we were eight. Trust me when I say he hasn't improved all that much with age in the brains department."
Sasuke lifts an eyebrow. "I was under the impression that he was making all that crap up as he went along."
"He is. Look, I'm not saying he's dumb. He's one of the smartest and most aware people I know. It's just that he finds it boring, acting his age. It's actually quite endearing, when he's not irritating me to death."
"Hn." That makes a lot of sense, actually, Sasuke thinks.
"Hey, wanna go see how he's doing? He should be about ready to try deactivating Jiraiya again. Not that that's ever worked, but it doesn't stop him giving it a go."
Sasuke nods. He's only known Naruto for a few days, but already irritating him is becoming a cherished hobby.
When they get to the closed-off room that Sakura has to key in her senior-crew-member code to open, Naruto is glaring painful death at the plasma screen on the wall showing Jiraiya's face as he used to be, all spiky white hair and red markings on his cheeks, complete with a giant self-satisfied smile splitting his face in two.
"... would have gotten it much sooner, if you could've just stayed still long enough! And was it really necessary to disassemble my maintenance bot? You're going to have to repair it now, you realise. Think of it as penitence."
"Bloody bastard pervert sannin," Naruto mutters under his nose. "And for the record, I figured out the connection myself, thank you very much! Damn useless machine..."
"Naruto!" Sakura is not amused. "Jiraiya's only trying to help, you ungrateful jerk! You do realise we absolutely have to have you competent and skillful enough to be of any use, yes?"
Naruto sighs explosively, but knows she's right. "Thanks, Ero-ship," he mutters grudgingly.
"Wait. Does that mean he's actually in touch with the program? It's only been a few hours!"
"Yeah, yeah, Princess Sasuke, I got it all sorted out!" Naruto's smug boasting makes Sasuke's eye twitch in irritation.
"He's pretty much connected with the program, and he's learning to exert his will over it. He can get it to do small things--hack into portable screens, swap data stores, destroy priceless works of art..."
"Oh, stop being so melodramatic! It's porn!"
"It's not porn, it's quality literature! How come only Kakashi appreciates quality literature on this ship?"
"Because he's the only one perverted enough? I seriously do not now how the hell Iruka can stand him, let alone fuck him!"
"Be fucked by him, you mean?" Jiraiya supplies slyly, still irritated beyond belilef. The look of horror on Naruto's face at the revelation is a beautiful sight to behold.
"But--but--nooooo! You're lying, it's not possible my brother is an UKE!"
"Yeah, but can you really see Kakashi being the," Sakura clears her throat, attempting to maintain her lady-like image with limited success, "er, bottom?" Sakura shudders, clearly from the vileness of the thought, certainly not at all because it makes her all hot and shivery inside.
Sasuke is amused at the expression of pain twisting Naruto's face up at the thought, and the look in Sakura's eye. It makes him all warm inside to see the creation of a yaoi fangirl in the making, especially when Kakashi is going to be at the receiving end of the cameras and the binoculars this time round. Still, the thought of Kakashi and Iruka together is not really unpleasant in any way, more... is it him or is the room getting too warm? It must be Naruto hyperventilating. Of course it is. Yes.
"I hate to break up this little meeting, but how useful is Naruto really at this point? I'm guessing he's got a long way to go to be able to fully control the Kyuubi." The three of them twitch a little when Kakashi appears at the door.
Jiraiya nods on screen. "He needs a lot of work, still, and someone to show him how--there's no one on the ship who can do that to the extent he needs. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Kakashi exhales wearily. "Probably not, but in any case I think once we meet up with Gaara it'll be time to take a little trip off-course, to the Kumogakure ship. There's clearly someone whom you should meet, Naruto." Kakashi looks at the mix of pale, amused and intrigued faces in front of him, and smirks unseen behind his mask. "Oh, and stay out of my personal life, if it's not too much trouble. Just hope Iruka doesn't hear about this conversation."
Naruto gulps reflexively; even Sakura looks a little apprehensive at the thought of Iruka's temper going off. Sasuke just smirks--Naruto privately thinks the idiot obviously doesn't know any better.
"We'll have Suigetsu take over until we reach Puppeteer, in about another four hours," Jiraiya decrees, and Naruto grins. He likes Suigetsu.
---
He really, really hates Suigetsu, Naruto decides after two and a half hours of yelling, screaming, sulking and unnecessary blows to the back of his head. Suigetsu may be a genius, but he can't teach worth shit, at least not in a way that Naruto can understand.
"Look, it's not reintegrating the quantum nodes, it's joining with the hyperphase system and changing the nodes into a quasi-quantum state, okay?"
"I don't understand a bloody word of what you're saying! Quasi-quantum state? Have you been snorting Eridani dust again?"
Suigetsu slams his fist into the table, hard. "I can't work with this idiot. Just... take him away before I lose my patience completely and short-circuit his nervous system to make him shut the fuck up!"
"Suigetsu, he's not worth it. Why don't you let him go, nice and slow, there we go," Sasuke coaxes, keeping a wary eye on the fingers of Suigetsu's left hand.
Suigetsu withdraws the jack he's been about to stab into Naruto's brain with an irritated huff. "Spoil my fun," he grumbles.
Sasuke rolls his eyes. "You are clearly getting nowhere. Let's call it a day. There's only over an hour to go before we reach the rendezvous point anyway."
"I've had enough. I'm starving and there's ramen in the stores. I'm out of here." Naruto takes off in a huff.
"Is he really that bad?" Sasuke asks.
Suigetsu sighs. "No, not really. He's smart, and he has a grasp of the techniques involved, but he's never done this before, so he has none of the terminology that I can use to explain it to him. He simply has no idea what I'm talking about, is all. I'm sure he'd get it if he could understand it, but it's pretty useless me teaching him the hackers' language on top of the method, and I can't get him to understand me without it, so... stalemate. Anyway, I hear we're heading towards someone who'd have much better luck getting through to him."
Sasuke grunts; Suigetsu stretches and leaves without another word, no doubt on his way to pester Zabuza again. Sasuke makes his way to the mess hall for lack of anywhere more interesting to be. He could go talk to Kakashi, he supposes, but there's nothing further he can learn from the man. He could go practice with the lightning glove, but it's no fun without an opponent with the right level of skills. He suspects Naruto would give him a run for his money, but Naruto is currently stuffing his face, and irritated, and in no mood to get his ass handed to him, so Sasuke thinks he should probably leave it for another day. He could go to the bridge, he considers as he makes his way up the corridor. Jiraiya's always good for a talk, since he hardly does anything else these days, but Sasuke is in no mood to learn any more unpleasant truths about his heretofore held beliefs today. Maybe he'd go for that chat tomorrow, if the Suna delegation doesn't take up all of his time.
When he enters the mess hall, the only person he sees is Naruto. He's sitting on his own in the middle of the room, a pile of empty ramen cartons as high as his head balancing precariously on his right. He's still stuffing his face, making loud, obsene slurping noises that Sasuke finds at once disgusting and vaguely erotic. He shakes himself; 'erotic', 'Naruto', and 'ramen' do not belong in the same sentence.
"Hey, Sasuke-bastard. You want some? I'm feeling generous."
"No, thanks. I can't understand how you can eat that horrible excuse for nutrition value."
"WHAT. How can you say that?! Oh, my beloved ramen, do not listen to this heathen and his insults! Ramen is no less than the food of the gods, you wretched philistine--"
"What have you been reading? Do you even know what that word means?"
"Oi! Just because I look stupid doesn't mean I am--Wait, no. That's not what I mean. I--uh--well, nevermind that! Don't try to distract me! How can you even think such blasphemous thoughts about the salty deliciousness that is ramen?"
Sasuke tunes out the 'Ramen is my One Twu Luv' rant before Naruto has even built up steam. If he's heard it once, he's heard them all, but he can't seem to stop himself from needling the blond idiot; he makes the most interesting faces when he gets fired up like this, and Sasuke can watch him all day long. He fights the smirk trying to take over his face at a particular example of rubber-like flexibility, as Naruto's eyebrows scrunch almost down to his nose and his mouth stretches open in a rictus of fury. He should charge people to see this, he thinks; it lightens his mood remarkably.
---
Soragakure enters Suna's atmosphere approximately fifteen minutes sooner than predicted. Jiraiya gives routine landing procedure over the intercom, instructing all passengers on the Soragakure to please keep all limbs in the vehicle and remain calm, even if the whole ship spontaneously combusts or appears to be crashing.
Naruto takes the captain's chair in the cockpit for the purpose of landing the ship. Jiraiya could do it himself, but it is one of the most important times for the captain to be immediately available. He can't meditate while they're so close to Suna, anyway. Sasuke takes the co-pilot's seat.
Naruto flips the gauges, preparing the preliminary shields for entering the atmosphere. "What are you doing, and where is Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto says without looking up.
"He is otherwise indisposed," Sasuke replies. The Soragakure's control panel is entirely different from Taka's, but he figures it out quickly enough.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Naruto demands. Jiraiya presses a few buttons himself.
"It means he's busy fucking Iruka and can't be bothered to help you do a routine procedure, dumbass."
"LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU," Naruto insists. "IRUKA-SENSEI IS PURE AND TRUE AND NOT BEING DESPOILED BY KAKASHI-SENSEI."
Sasuke snorts and pretends that isn't a smile Naruto just brought to his face.
--- Soragakure's residents and crew exit the ship in an orderly manner, staying behind their captain, weapons at the ready.
"Gaara!" Naruto cries, running forward to greet Suna's infamously emotionless and cold-blooded leader with a hug.
Gaara doesn't quite blush, simply becomes less pale, and awkwardly raises one hand to pat Naruto's back. Sasuke sneers. That hug was totally not even close to necessary.
Behind him, Sai says, "See, Sakura-chan? Hugs are a perfectly normal form of greeting."
Sakura sighs. "From the front, yes. From behind, if you grab my breasts one more time--"
"Naruto said that was the appropriate procedure," Sai protests.
"Oh, did he?" Sakura murmurs threateningly.
Sai smiles, triumphant, and Sasuke wonders for a moment if he is really as clueless as he seems. He and Naruto are having... something of a feud at the moment, not least because Sai insists on bringing up Naruto's penis (or lack thereof) at every possible moment. Which is patently untrue, Sasuke thinks; it's obvious Sai hasn't seen him naked, because Naruto is hung like a... He catches wind of what he'd been about to think and flushes furiously. He'll NOT be admitting any time soon, on pain of death, that he may have used his Sharingan for a somewhat different purpose than what it had been designed for, even if the reason was mere curiosity at Sai's insistence and nothing more.
Meanwhile, Gaara is still patting Naruto's back, who seems to be sniffing at Gaara's neck. Sasuke sees red. He eyes the guards that circle their leader and considers how many seconds it would take him to disable them and pummel the redhead to the ground. Then Gaara lifts his head, as if sensing Sasuke's killing intent, and his eyes are pure challenge. He shifts his arm closer around Naruto, tucking him tighter into his body, all the while staring expressionlessly into Sasuke's eyes that bleed to red from the unspoken, but very much there, provocation. Gaara raises a taunting eyebrow; Sasuke glowers but stays where he is. He recognises a predator when he sees one, and he's not about to turn himself into the prey.
Naruto seems to shudder in Gaara's hold, peeling himself slowly away from him. "It's good to see you, Green eyes," he says, his voice slightly husky. Then he smiles, a blinding, loving, friendly grin that seems to light the room and makes everybody present want to smile back at him. Sasuke restrains himself with some effort.
"Don't call me that," Gaara says, voice a perfect monotone. Sasuke wonders how the hell someone as effervescent as Naruto could have ever dated someone as stiff and forbidding as Gaara.
"You're looking good," Naruto says, ignoring the admonishment. Sasuke decides this must be the way--by completely ignoring Gaara's reticence and powering through his objections. After all, Naruto is the most stubborn, pig-headed man he's ever had the misfortune to meet.
Naruto does, however, step back, almost respectful. "Thank you for coming," he says, suddenly all business. "We're kiiiiind of in trouble. Can we go someplace to talk?"
Gaara turns and leads the way without a word. Naruto looks back at Sakura, mouthing 'two hours' at her, making sure she knows to be ready for departure as soon as they're done talking and planning. Sakura nods and chucks something heavy at Naruto, who catches it reflexively. It's the Soragakure's mobile communications network device, the one with direct contact to Jiraiya's memory banks. Naruto nods an acknowledgement, turns, then stops.
"Kakashi, now would be a really good time to stop fucking around."
"I know," comes the calm voice at his ear and Sasuke sees Naruto visibly restrain himself from flinching, trying to act like he knew Kakashi was at his side all along. "Fucking pervert," he murmurs, but does not move away when a grinning Kakashi places a steadying hand on his shoulder.
---
Sasuke stays at the ship docking station, keeping an eye on his team milling around and chatting to the Soragakure crew. He's surprised at how easily his teammates are getting along with the others. Suigetsu is in the middle of a lively conversation with the Nara guy, and Juugo is chatting pleasantly with the Hyuuga, comparing notes on the energy signatures of certain birds. Karin is the only odd one out, sitting cross-legged on a bunch of crates, chewing gum and flipping through a magazine, completely ignoring the commotion around her.
Sasuke leans against the wall, wondering what to do with his time. He knows Naruto and the others are debriefing Gaara, making plans to get to the Hachibi and then further on to the mainframe. He's not sure Gaara will like this plan, having almost died because of the meddling of others into things they did not understand. But he had been saved by Naruto himself, so maybe he would not react too harshly to the knowledge that Naruto has a part of that same evil in him. Sasuke shrugs. There's nothing to do but hurry up and wait for the messengers to get back with the outcome.
"The waiting is always the hardest part," a voice by his shoulder says.
Sasuke looks up, suppressing his surprise. It's Iruka.
"I don't think we've been formally introduced in all the chaos," Iruka says. "Umino Iruka." He holds out a hand.
"Uchiha Sasuke," Sasuke replies, ignoring the hand.
"That's not very polite," Iruka says, frowning. "Do you know where the handshake originated?" He pauses. "Sorry, I used to be a teacher," he laughs.
"I see that," Sasuke replies.
Iruka takes a seat next to Sasuke. "They'll be back soon. It's not that they don't want to take more people with them, it's just that Gaara isn't the most popular boy in the universe, and they already trust Kakashi and Naruto enough, so..."
"They trust Naruto because he used to fuck Gaara," Sasuke translates.
Iruka blushes. "W-well, actually, that started after the diplomatic meetings."
"I heard that from an Akatsuki member--the one that Naruto airlocked. They're too close to Naruto and Gaara."
Iruka frowns. "They could be, but--that was a bit of an open secret between Hoshii and Suna, but thank you for this information, I'll be sure to let Naruto and Gaara know of the potential danger." Iruka ruffles Sasuke's hair as he stands, heading toward the main communications panel.
Sasuke glares at his back, shaking his head to smooth his bangs in place. Nobody messes with the hair! Still, the man is pleasant enough that Sasuke might just skip putting him on his "to kill" list. Besides, anyone who can take on Hatake Kakashi and hold his own against him is an adversary to be reckoned with.
---
"So you'll help, then?"
"Idiot. Why would I be bringing my people to this meeting you if I wasn't willing to help?"
"It'll be dangerous, Gaara."
"Don't insult my intelligence. Of course it's going to be fucking dangerous. That's why I'm not letting you go there alone. You need someone watching your collective backsides for you."
"Naruto is right, Gaara-sama. Akatsuki as well as the Alliance are on our trail, and Naruto has yet to come to terms with the programming inside him, let alone learn how to control it."
"I understand that the situation is serious, Hatake-san. However, I do think you underestimate Naruto and his ability to adapt. If there's anyone who can sort this mess out, it's him."
"That's all well and good, brother, but we will need to get hold of the Hachibi to have any hope of success. It just so happens that Temari checked in at last today, and she has some interesting news regarding the Kumogakure," Kankuro drawls, enjoying the looks of surprise on the faces of the Hoshii crew.
"Temari's out there? So you actually know where the Hachibi's ship is located?"
"Yes, and we've opened communication channels. We're negotiating our arrival as we speak."
Naruto is totally dumbstruck. "But--how--I mean, we didn't know we were going after the Hachibi until a few hours ago! How the hell did you know to contact them?"
"Heh," Kankuro smirks, "Just say 'thank you' for us having done your job for you."
"Hey! No, but really, why were you going after him in the first place?"
"Insurance," Gaara tells them. "We know this war isn't over, not by a long shot. We know everyone is looking for the Hachibi and the Kyuubi in order to gain an advantage. In fact," Gaara looks at Naruto, equal parts pitying and apologetic, "we know you are the host for the Kyuubi, Naruto. We've known for some time."
Naruto pales. "How long?" he rasps.
Gaara looks reluctant.
"How long?" Naruto repeats, louder, an almost imperceptible shaking in his hands.
"Since before the diplomatic meetings. We actually started them to see if we could gain you as an ally, not because we were that desperate for Hoshii's assistance."
"Fucking--fuck, Gaara!" Naruto swears, flinching violently. "I fucking trusted you! I FUCKING WENT AFTER YOU WHEN YOU WERE TAKEN! And all along it was a ruse?"
"No, Naruto, no, don't think that, please. It was before I knew you. Do you think I would have let you into my bed if I was just after political advantage? You know me better than that." Gaara looks earnest--hurt and angry that Naruto would think that.
Naruto deflates. For one, it's the most Gaara has said for as long as he's known the man. For another, he can see the worry in Gaara's eyes, worry for him. Naruto knows damn well Gaara does not worry for anyone, ever, besides his few important persons.
"You need the Hachibi to help you, and I'm going to make that happen. His ship is only five light years away. We should get to it by dinnertime; and by then Temari should have concluded the negotiations. Go back to your ship and set off to the coordinates I've just had Neji beam to Jiraiya. We'll make the hyperspace jump together in forty-five minutes."
"Okay," Naruto says, sounding defeated. It hurts to know that Gaara saw him first as a host, and only later as a real person. Then again, Gaara has been struggling with the same thing for years, and it would be unlike Naruto to think so little of his friend after all they have been through together. He recovers his usual wide grin, and if it is a few watts dimmer, well--nobody says anything about it.
---
Hyuuga Neji finds them as they're leaving to go back to the Soragakure and prepare for the long trip ahead.
"Naruto," he nods neutrally.
"Neji," Naruto returns the nod, only a little wary. Neji and him have history, after all, and not just because his cousin, the legendary Hyuuga heiress Naruto has been trying to find (and hold to ransom) all this time. They were once bitter enemies, Neji--locked in his nihilistic belief that he would never be his own man, never be free from his family's tight hold on his actions, and Naruto--determined to show him that there was another way. Neji despised him for his optimism; Naruto disliked Neji for his easy acceptance of defeat. "Never give up," Naruto had once said, and, "Your fate is not set in stone if even a failure can beat a genius", and when Naruto had wiped the floor with Neji, Neji had tentatively started to believe him.
Now Naruto looks at the strong, firm, confident man Neji has become and feels quiet satisfaction at being able to improve someone's life so much. To his surprise, Gaara stops very close by Neji's side, shoulders almost touching. Are they...? Nah, they can't be! Can they? Gaara brushes Neji's fingers with his own for no reason that he can see, and Naruto has his answer, albeit a very unexpected one. He looks from one to the other, face bewildered. When had that happened?
"Fourty-five minutes, Naruto. You'd best be off. Tell Uchiha I said 'hi', he'll know what I mean," Neji says cryptically, a strange smile twisting his mouth. Naruto scowls. Is there even a single person who isn't sleeping with someone he knows these days? The thought of Neji and Gaara together is unnerving enough, but the thought of Neji and Sasuke together doesn't just make him uncomfortable; it makes him see red like nothing else.
"Right. I'll be sure to do that," he sneers and turns his back on the lovebirds.
"What was that all about?" he hears Gaara murmur behind him, Neji's reply fading in the background, but doesn't care enough to stop.
He wonders what the Hachibi host will be like. Is he going to be as lonely and bitter as Gaara had been? Or is he going to be more like him, burying the loneliness deep inside behind a shield of bright smiles and boasting speeches? He shrugs. They'll know soon enough.
"Back into the ship with you," he decrees when he sees his milling crew members. "We'll be setting off in half an hour."
"Setting off for where?" Sasuke wants to know.
"To talk to the Hachibi host," Kakashi says easily from his slouch behind Naruto. "Gaara has graciously agreed to help us find him and ask for his help in reigning in the Kyuubi."
"Neji says 'hi', by the way. How the hell do you two know each other, anyway? I thought you were on Orochifag's ship for years and years!"
Sasuke smirks. "We had a few training matches some years ago. I won. He got pissed, he tried to fight me dirty and I won again. He's probably still sore about it."
"Oh, is that what the kids call it these days?" Kakashi muses, making Sasuke flush and glower at him, and Naruto snort in amusement at the look on Sasuke's face.
"I didn't fuck him! We just... messed around a little. Shut up, moron," he growls at Naruto, who is shaking with laughter, irritation forgotten.
"But you're both so preeeetty! Who bottomed?" he gasps out, and then hightails it back to the ship, still giggling like a toddler, when Sasuke starts for him with a clear killing intent. "Race you to the cockpit!" he screams over his shoulder, eyes twinkling with challenge. Sasuke runs after him, pretending he isn't smiling just a little.
---
"All hands on deck?" Naruto asks, taking his seat. Sasuke sits in the co-pilot's chair again.
"Affirmative. All systems ready. Charging enhanced warp drives. Making a note to find more sun crysts, we need power for this. More pirating, less flirting," Jiraiya says.
Naruto sputters. "WHAT. Did you just tell me 'less flirting'?" He stops clicking levers into place, taking a moment to stare into the nearest security camera sternly.
Jiraiya makes a sound like a cough; another remnant of his days of needing oxygen to live. "Right. Entering hyperspace in... 3... 2... 1..."
Sasuke ensures that the inertial dampeners are at full capacity, just in time for the ship to take off, full speed ahead.
---
The jump proceeds as normal--everyone gets stuck to the back of their chairs for the first second or so; then, breathing gets easier again. They're going to stay in hyperspace for a long time by Soragakure's standards--a little over nine hours. The enhanced warp drives really boost their speed--the trip would have taken them a little over ten days at normal speed. Unfortunately, for nearer distances they can't really utilise them--by the time they warm up, the ship would overshoot a target closer than a lightyear away five times over. That's, however, nine hours in which Naruto can brood and sulk and imagine all sorts of torrid Neji-and-Sasuke porn acts in his head as a poor distraction from the revelations Gaara had dumped on him. He needs to do something that takes his mind away from it all, so he heads for the training room intent on working out until he exhausts himself enough to sleep. He can't actually remember the last time he slept; the last two and a half days have been so damned hectic, yet sleep is the farthest thing from his mind.
He's had a lot to cope with in that time. First, rescuing Sasuke seems to have been the wrong move to make if he wanted to preserve his quiet, ordered world. Then the Itachi and Akatsuki thing, resulting in more rescuing, and then the cyborg program host thing... It's mostly been a lot of fun, but he can't even keep it all straight in his own head. He desperately needs to just pass out for a while, but his brain won't shut the fuck up! He even considers going to Sakura, having her stick a bunch of tranquiliser darts in his arm, but he doesn't want to risk the damn program overriding him again.
He reaches the training room only to see a strange light coming from around the door jamb. Curious, he pushes it open wider and stares in amazement at the lightning coming out of Sasuke's palm. There's some sort of glove over his hand, exuding a--what is that, a forcefield? condensed energy? plasma waves? He has no idea, but it looks cool as fuck. Sasuke's face is screwed up in concentration, sweat beading on his forehead from the effort. He looks powerful, and in control, and too fucking hot to be allowed. Naruto feels his pants tighten painfully at the sight of Sasuke biting his lips, straining to hold his place, and he is literally unable to stop thinking about what this man would look like in bed under him, straining for an entirely different reason. The image burns itself in his retinas--he is sure he'll be seeing the afterimages for a long time to come. He stumbles, because he absolutely cannot take his eyes off him--Sasuke's head snaps up, the lightning beams gone in an instant, leaving the room in deep shadow.
"Uh," Naruto manages, trying to turn his body away so that his condition is not immediately visible. Sasuke looks at him as if he's only just seeing him for the first time. When Naruto says nothing more, he lifts a mocking eyebrow.
"Cat got your tongue?"
'Tongue', thinks Naruto, 'Sasuke's tongue', and the visuals the question provokes are categorically not what Sasuke meant at all, he is certain.
"Uh," he reiterrates smoothly, and he cannot stop staring at the pale, muscled body underneath the mesh shirt Sasuke has dug out from Hawking-knows-where. The tight leather pants that leave nothing to the imagination are not helping at fucking all. Sasuke's got nothing to be ashamed of, he thinks in between drooling.
Sasuke's still staring at him, he notices, but can't seem to snap out of it. Oh crap, any minute now Sasuke's going to look down and his coat, while long and spacious, does not cover his front too well, having been designed to billow behind him as he walks. It's one of the reasons he bought it in the first place, but while immensely stylish it's not helping his cause any at the moment. Sasuke's eyes start lowering from his; they're at chest level, at stomach level now, and he can see the exact moment when Sasuke clocks on to his predicament--his eyes widen and his nostrils flare, as if he's actually sniffing him out. Then his eyelids lower and his eyes darken further, if that's possible. A smirk tugs at the corner of his mobile lips and Naruto wants to kiss it off his face.
"Hn," Sasuke snorts, and he's prowling forward like a fucking predator; Naruto had no idea men could move like that, even Kakashi doesn't move like that, and oh crap he's babbling and Sasuke is far too close. He feels himself being pressed into the doorframe, Sasuke's warm, lithe body splayed all along his frame. Naruto realises he is two inches taller than him the exact moment Sasuke dips his head and buries his nose in his neck. His eyelids flutter when Sasuke exhales against his too-sensitive skin, and when a tongue flicks out to lick at it he's sure he's going to pass out momentarily. It's been far, far too long since he last got laid and Sasuke is temptation incarnate.
"Fuck it," he murmurs and reaches for Sasuke's ass in the exact moment that Sasuke reaches for him. There is a flash of light, a slightly singed smell; Naruto has a brief moment to contemplate Sasuke's horrified face and think, 'ah crap, not a-fucking-gain', before the world fades to black.
---
He wakes up slowly, feeling drowsy but very well rested for some reason.
"Whu--?" he asks intelligently and cracks his eyes open. He appears to be in his bed, but his left side hurts something fierce. He looks down to find that he is naked, with only a swathe of bandages covering his torso. "What happened this time?" he whines, not expecting an answer.
"That was me, sorry," comes from the corner of his room. He snaps his head in that direction to find Sasuke slumped in the spare chair not covered by a pile of clothes. A further look finds said pile dumped on the floor by him. He looks up at Sasuke again, and suddenly remembers everything. Oh, fuckity fuck fuck.
"You fucking electrocuted me, you bastard!" he yells, choosing to focus on the less mortifying point. Sasuke cringes.
"I didn't mean to. I forgot I hadn't turned it off," he admits, looking sheepish. "Anyway, Sakura says you're absolutely fine apart from the singeing, and you've been sleeping for the past eight hours so you should be almost healed by now."
He does not mention the part where Sakura had almost bitten his head off for injuring her captain yet again. "He's got enough to worry about without you trying to kill him left and right!" she had yelled at some length.
"So... If I've been sleeping for eight hours, does that mean we've almost arrived?"
"We'll be there in about half an hour. I'd say you have time for a shower, but you're not supposed to wet the wound until it's healed over completely."
There is a knock at the door. "Is that Sasuke in there?"
Sasuke freezes, shaking his head furiously.
"Uh, no," Naruto lies.
Sakura sighs. "Jiraiya, can you scan for Sasuke's life signs?"
"He's in the captain's quarters," Jiraiya confirms.
"Naruto, I don't want him in there with you alone. He just electrocuted you. I'm coming in, cover yourself," Sakura says. She checks her tranq gun, making sure that she has the appropriate tranquilizers loaded, just in case Sasuke tries something funny. He's attacked the captain of the ship that saved his sorry ass twice. At this point, Sakura is willing to accept even the most minor offense as reason for shooting.
She can hear muffled curses and the sound of two idiots fumbling in the room for something to cover Naruto. She opens the door while the noise is still going.
Sasuke is holding a blanket over Naruto's crotch. They both freeze at the sound of the doors sliding open. Oh, Sakura thinks.
"Excellent," Naruto says, attempting the most lecherous grin he can manage. "Would you like to join us, Sakura-chan?"
Sakura blushes. "N-nevermind. You should be fine in no time. Your safety is up to you after that." She covers her eyes with one hand, turning around. "Jiraiya, keep an eye on Naruto's vitals. I don't want to know what is going on in there unless his heart stops."
"I don't want to know, either!" Jiraiya protests. "Naruto is like my--I don't want to know what he does in his bedroom, have someone else monitor the life signs panel manually."
"On second thought, maybe I don't care if his vital signs suddenly stop." Sakura takes the tranq darts out of her gun, heading back to the med labs, her cheeks still darker than her hair.
---
Naruto sucks in a breath of air between his teeth, throwing his head back against the pillow. "You're--ah," he gasps, trying not to wiggle his hips too much, despite the growing need for friction. He can feel the warmth washing over his left side as the nanites finish the healing process in a wave from the top of the wound to the bottom.
Naruto sits up, grabbing the front of Sasuke's shirt. "Stop doing that," he growls.
Sasuke releases the cloth he'd been holding over Naruto's hips with a smirk. "Doing what?" He reaches his (lightning-free) hand for Naruto's backside again. "Healed yet?"
"The nanites work pretty fast," Naruto comments, pulling Sasuke into a searing kiss. "Fuck, we've got thirty minutes."
Sasuke climbs onto the bed, pushing Naruto back down. "Tch, you won't last that long." He slides one leg between Naruto's, nipping at Naruto's collarbone.
Any protest Naruto may have made is lost as he arches into Sasuke's hips, now strategically positioned to drive him insane with the need for more contact, faster, now. Fuck, but he wants to feel Sasuke's bare skin sliding against his more than he wants to keep breathing. He grabs hold of the nearest garment and starts pulling, trying not to rip it, but really not caring too much if it means he's going to get his skin contact. Sasuke shifts on top of him, simultaniously rubbing against him exactly the way to ensure maximum friction, and still managing to shuck his top and slither right out of those damned-to-all-hells tight leather pants that started the whole thing rolling. All that in just one movement. Naruto's mouth goes dry at the implications.
"You know," he attempts nonchalance. "I'm still a little sore over here. Maybe I'm not supposed to be moving too much. Perhaps you could--" get on top of me and ride me hard to kingdom come "--do most of the moving yourself this first time?" He flashes Sasuke his most innocent and winning smile.
"Dobe," Sasuke smirks and straightens slightly, pressing down hard. "Don't try this manipulation crap, you'll just injure yourself. You might as well say it. You want me to slick you up, stretch myself open, slide your cock inside my tight ass and ride you into the mattress. Have I got it in one?"
"Oh, fuck," Naruto manages, almost shaking with the need for exactly what that bastard just said in that 'liquid-sex' voice of his to happen, to be happening right fucking now, thanks. "Please," he manages to force out from behind gritted teeth. He hates to beg, but he hates even more to lose this--this--fuck, he can't even think with Sasuke's skin right there; he can't get his hands to move fast enough. He's absolutely in lust with Sasuke's shoulders -- muscled, broad, perfectly formed and, he is finding out, tasting delicious. He tries a small bite--when all that does is make Sasuke stiffen above him and groan he adds a little suction, soothing the sting of the bite with flicks of his tongue.
"Fucking hell, stop teasing and get on with it," Sasuke growls, and, "Where's the damned lube?"
Naruto tears himself away from his new favorite place--his nose buried in the crook where Sasuke's shoulder meets his neck--and reaches around for his bedside table. His room is an absolute tip, and the top drawer is no different. He chucks out tissues, tubs of lip balm, a ball of string that he has no idea what it's doing there, a pair of socks with more holes in them than weave, a butt plug (he makes sure to chuck this much closer to the bed than the other crap), and finally his questing fingers close around a tube of hand lotion. Fuck, it would have to do. He presses it into Sasuke's hand--he wants his own hands free to roam all over the lithe body above him.
Sasuke raises an eyebrow but refrains from snarking--he doesn't want to ruin the mood again, and a case of blue balls is not high on his list of priorities. Instead, he snaps the top open and pours a generous amount in his palm. He trails the first three fingers of his right hand through the mess suggestively, and then his hand disappears from view. Naruto knows the very moment when Sasuke breaches himself--his body grows heavier on top of him, legs falling open over his waist, hips canting forward and back in turns, rubbing his length over Naruto's rippling stomach. Sasuke's mouth drops open, his eyes seem to roll into his head; he moans, and Naruto can't hold back his answering groan and the instinctive lift of his own hips. His cock slides against Sasuke's slick crack, brushing against the hand otherwise occupied. Sasuke looks down on him, lids lowered, breath coming out in hot huffs and little hitches that make Naruto want to bury himself inside him this instant.
"You done yet?" he pants, clutching at those slim hips.
"Impatient, much?" Sasuke smirks.
"With you fucking yourself on your fingers like that? You bet your ass I am!" Naruto grins his shit-eating grin.
Sasuke pulls out said fingers with a filthy squelch that makes Naruto wince and at the same time manages to turn him on almost unbearably. He grabs behind himself for Naruto's cock and slicks him up thoroughly; then he shifts and slides and Naruto is enveloped in scorching heat, squeezed to within an inch of his life. He grits his teeth and focuses on Sasuke's face, which has gone slack from pleasure, eyes squeezed tightly shut, tongue licking his lower lip. Sasuke takes him all the way in, hips shifting to rest against his, and it's more than he can take--he tugs on Sasuke's biceps, brings him closer so that he can take that lower lip into his mouth, slip his tongue past it to play with Sasuke's, memorise the taste that bursts into his awareness. Then Sasuke starts moving, and Naruto knows that his initial estimate is quite correct--he certainly won't last half an hour. Hell, he won't even last ten minutes if Sasuke carries on twisting his hips like that, Jesus fuck! He moans long and ragged, gritting out Sasuke's name when Sasuke squeezes around him, and whips his body upwards; he seems to have done something right--Sasuke grunts and bears down harder. "Fuck, right there, don't even move from there!"
"I won't," Naruto promises, and thrusts for all he's worth. Sasuke makes an obcene sound deep in his throat and reaches for his leaking cock, gripping it hard. Naruto bats his hand away and takes over, squeezing in time to the battering he's dishing out. Sasuke grips at the sheets by his pillow, bracing himself for the thrusts that shake his whole body with their force. A particularly vicious thrust almost unseats him; "Yes," he groans, and "fuck, harder," and grips Naruto's hips with his thighs, tightens around him--Naruto completely loses it, his rhythm shot to hell.
"Come on, fucking come already, you bastard, I can't--nnnh--I can't hold out much longer..."
He strokes fast at the silken hard length in his palm, flipping his thumbnail over the slit and Sasuke seems to spasm, his whole body shuddering; 'I'm--Naruto," he yelps and buckles with the force of his climax, cum splattering everywhere, Naruto has no idea how he's going to clean it all up--then Sasuke clamps down on him like a vice, reaches over, strokes the newly healed skin at his side, closes his teeth over his left nipple and holy fucking gods he is coming like a freight train behind schedule. Thank fuck the walls are soundproof, or he'd never hear the end of it. His mind blanks out blissfully; he feels like he's been electrocuted again, only much, much nicer this time round. "Fuck, Sasuke..." he gasps out when Sasuke collapses on top of him, completely spent.
Sasuke spares a languid glance for the plasma display. Jiraiya is conspicuously absent, but there is a countdown from 30 minutes, currently showing 12 minutes and 17 seconds. "Not even twenty minutes? Hn. Your endurance leaves a lot to be desired, loser. Been a while, huh?"
"Oi! The hell, asshole? I just gave you the fucking of a lifetime and all you can do is moan about it!"
"I thought that was the point?"
"Hah! I'd like to see you do any better after a year-long dry spell!"
"Is that right? So you will, then. Might want to let Gaara know we'll be a little late meeting him, Jiraiya," he throws at the plasma screen, which seems to be turning slowly pink in embarassment.
"Leave me out of this!" Jiraiya pleads; the screen pings and switches off altogether.
Sasuke settles more comfortably on top of his human pillow. "Five minutes," he warns, "and then you can just turn over and hang on." He ignores Naruto's spluttering and drops off like a rock.
---
"Sakura, I really do not think--"
"Shut up and go in. Someone needs to tell them to get ready, and I, for one, am going to be traumatized for life if I have to go in there again."
"Wh-what about Jiraiya-sama?"
"He won't turn on the cameras in there, or the speakers until he's sure it's clear."
"What's clear?"
"N-nothing, just go in!"
Sakura gives one last shove, and Jiraiya opens the door before Sai can crash into it, shutting it behind him.
Sai looks around the room. It's just like every other time he has been in the captain's quarters, except for the way that Sasuke is lying on top of Naruto, both of them naked and sticky and sleeping. The room reeks of sex. That's why everyone was so horrified to come in here? Sai sighs. They had him worked up for nothing.
"Captain, we have reached our destination," he tries. No response. "Sasuke-san, we have arrived." Nothing.
Sai pauses, thinking it out. How does Sakura usually wake him? With violence. Sai is not prepared to near the captain or his companion as they sleep; there is a good chance that they will wake up and fight back out of instinct.
"Captain, Sakura is getting married to Sasuke-san."
"BZUH? WHAT WAZZAT?" Naruto flails, almost knocking Sasuke off the bed.
"We have reached our destination," Sai informs him. He turns around, knocks on the door twice, and is allowed to leave. "Problem solved."
"All right!" Sakura cheers. "Open back up, I've gotta tell them about Kumo's host!"
Jiraiya opens the door for Sakura.
"SAI THEY ARE STILL NAKED. WHY ARE THEY STILL NAKED? THIS IS NOT A SOLVED PROBLEM." Sakura does not immediately tear her eyes from the scene, despite her harsh words.
"Sakura, fuck off. I'm sleeping," Sasuke grouches, shifting over to let Naruto up from under him and curling up into the unpinned duvet.
Sakura stares at him. "Is he always this pliant after sex?"
"I'll let you know," Naruto snarks and pushes himself up from the bed. He can't believe he has to fucking get up when his legs are still shaky and all he wants to do is to sleep for the next twelve hours straight. Note to self--the next time you decide to get your brains screwed out, make sure you have the rest of the night to recover from it! He never used to be this knackered before. He really needs to build his stamina up! He suspects he's going to enjoy himself while doing so, he thinks, grinning.
He stretches. Sakura blushes. 'Huh?' he thinks, then he realises he's still naked and Sasuke's release is still splattered all over him.
"Damnit, can't a man have his post-coital glow in peace?" he mutters. Sakura blushes darker still, but keeps staring at them until Sai rolls his eyes and manhandles her out of the room.
"Naruto, put that excuse for a penis away, you're scarring people for life. Take a shower and get to the unloading bay before Gaara-sama comes looking for you, and those two decide to perform a manly posturing display for everyone's entertainment."
"Get the fuck out of my quarters, Sai! I swear if you don't shut up about the penis thing..."
"'S mine anyway. Back off, creepy stalker guy," Sasuke slurrs from his sprawl on the bed and Naruto honest-to-god blushes.
"Oh, he's got it bad," Sakura groans before the door slides shut.
Naruto glances at the bed, taking in the curled-up Sasuke--hair messy beyond recognition, naked but for a corner of the duvet flung over his hips, mouth ever so slightly open, face slack in relaxation. This is weird. He's gotten used to Sasuke being wired, alert, aware the entire time he's known him, bar those few hours of exhaustion-induced sleep. This display of trust is astounding, and he violently loathes the fact that he's going to have to wake him up enough to poke and prod him into the shower and get the rest of their day on track, when he would much, much rather be slipping back into bed and spooning behind him, letting his warm weight soothe him back into unconsciousness.
He's stalling, and he knows it. He also knows Gaara will be here any minute now, and he would have no qualms about busting his door down and dragging him on Kumo still bare-assed.
Sasuke hummms and arches like a cat when Naruto kneels on the bed next to him and strokes up and down his back, unable to see all that naked skin and not touch it. It's strange being so--well, there's no other word for it, even if that one feels wrong in his mouth--tender with the bastard when they've spent the three days since they met alternately fighting and shouting at each other, but Naruto seems to have discovered his latent 'mother-hen' tendencies.
"Sasuke, time to wake up now."
Nothing.
"Oi, teme, come on. Don't make me dump you out on the floor along with the sheets, Hawking knows they need changing after the last hour."
Still nothing, although Sasuke's brow scrunches. Naruto makes a mental note to fuck him mindless whenever he needs to get his way. He contemplates grabbing him, but he doesn't particularly want to lose his arm; Sasuke might be passed out right now, but threaten him and watch him disembowel you before he's even woken up properly.
Sasuke rolls over, away from the irritant, and Naruto's widened eyes fall on his stiffie. Huh. Sasuke doesn't seem to have stamina issues. He does have to get himself in shape. He looks at the newly revealed sight consideringly, then nods, decision made.
---
Sasuke is floating in a pleasantly drowsy state, feeling completely safe for the first time in years. He hears voices, and feels people in the room, but nobody is radiating killing intent and he's not interrupting his nap for anything less than that. Besides, Naruto is there, he can take care of it. Then it all goes quiet again and he slips further into sleep. Until suddenly there's heat, heat and wetness and suction and he's definitely up now, in more ways than one. He lets out an unguarded moan when a tongue laps at the head of his cock, and then he's taken back into Naruto's (he presumes, and he'd rather imagine it's him than actually open his eyes and check) mouth and deeper still into his throat; Naruto swallows and Sasuke's eyes fly open at the constriction around the sensitive head.
"Fuck," he gasps, "do that again."
Naruto, however, will not be rushed. He pulls away slowly but implacably; with a final suck on the head he lets it pop out of his mouth and licks his lips.
"Back with us, are you? Hmmm, I'll have to remember that for next time."
"Are you going to pontificate, or are you going to suck my cock?" he snarks, looking pointedly at the object in question.
"Decisions, decisions," Naruto teases, and chuckles at Sasuke's scowl; then, in one swift move he sucks him back down to the root. Sasuke throws his head back so violently he can feel his neck protesting the strain. Naruto reaches down and squeezes his balls gently, then reaches further back and presses firmly on his perineum. Sasuke's hips snap up in reflex; he looks down at the top of the blond head bobbing in his lap. One hand is reaching behind himself, hidden from view--Naruto moans and jerks forward and Sasuke realises with a dizzying rush of lust that Naruto is fingering himself open, open for him. There's no stopping the moan that tumbles from his throat this time, and he has to bite his lower lip viciously to stop himself from coming. Only problem is, pain isn't that much of a deterrent anymore, not like it used to be before Naruto introduced shoulder-biting into the mix last time.
He grips at Naruto's hair and pulls him up high enough to look at, but not so high as to lose contact with the wet heat. He sees his cock stretching Naruto's mouth wide, lips tight and reddened around him and he can barely stop himself from exploding down that willing throat.
"You're either going to have to finish this or stop right now, otherwise it's going to be all over in fifteen seconds or so," he advises; Naruto grins around his mouthful and pulls off again.
"Well, when you put it like that..."
Then he's suddenly off the bed and walking away. Sasuke almost splutters in outrage.
"What the fucking hell?" he yells.
"I figure you need to cool off a bit before the main event, and we do need to shower rather desperately, so I thought we'd get two birds with one stone." Naruto's nonchalance would be a lot more convincing if he wasn't sporting a hard-on of epic proportions himself. He wiggles his ass suggestively as he steps into the bathroom cubicle, a shiny trail of lube left over on his right ass cheek. Sasuke is off the bed like it's on fire.
---
"You two done yet? It's been fifteen minutes! You really need to get going already! I'm giving you five more minutes and then I'm sending in a cleaning bot to spray the room down," Jiraiya says grumpily. He gets no response, but he knows they heard him--he made sure to broadcast throughout the quarters, shower included.
The shower door opens and a dripping wet Naruto literally falls out, laughing like a maniac. "Fuck's sake, chill. I won't tell anyone," he gasps out when an equally dripping Sasuke follows him out, habitual scowl back on his face. "Anyway," Naruto goes on, "did you have to push me so hard? I think I have your spunk stuck back on me now; the carpet isn't the cleanest place in the universe."
Sasuke makes a disgusted sound. "Must you be so vulgar?" he complains.
"You liked it ten minutes ago," Naruto suggests with a leer, unrepentant.
Sasuke flushes slightly, hunting around the room for a clean-ish towel to dry himself with. Naruto gets up off the floor and tosses him one from somewhere in the pile of clothes on the ground, picking another up for himself and rubbing at his chest briskly.
"Have you never heard of sonic laundry?" Sasuke snarks, nose twitching. The room absolutely stinks of sex and dirty clothes. He wonders how he managed not to notice before when he was fretting about Naruto's rate of healing. "I'm not coming back in here until you clean it up," he threatens, gingerly patting himself dry with the threadbare fabric. Naruto pauses, slightly panicked, then shrugs.
"I'll have Jiraiya's cleaning bot take care of it when it turns up, any minute now."
They dress quickly, even though Sasuke's leather pants seem to cause him a bit of trouble to tug back on. Naruto enjoys his predicament far too much, and would have told him not to bother, except just then the door slides open and the promised cleaning bot pokes an antenae in, beeping enquiringly.
"Come on in," Naruto tells it generously. "The room's all yours."
He tugs his long coat back on; Sasuke admires the way it flares at the back, white flames dancing along the bottom of the orange fabric. The black kanji for seven in the center of a wide red swirl takes up most of the back of it--Sasuke wonders momentarily what that's all about before shrugging. It's pretty, he supposes.
"Oh, thank Hawking, you're ready," Jiraiya says in a rush. "Gaara-sama's here. Get your asses to the hangar, pronto! You know how he hates being made to wait; it took me ages to get all the sand out from the carpets last time! Oh, and Sakura wants to speak to you before you go, I'm calling her over now. Pick her up at the Office."
"Roger," Naruto deadpans and sets off at a brisk walk. Sasuke catches up a few seconds later and keeps pace with ease. They turn the corner just in time to see Sakura's pink hair swing behind the Office door. Naruto slams a large hand on the pannel to keep it from closing. "Come on!" he urges, jiggling impatiently.
Sakura turns very slowly. "You are telling me to hurry up? You fucking hypocrite!"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm sorry, but I'm here now so can we get going already?"
Sakura rolls her eyes. She knows what he's like, she shouldn't get frustrated, she tells herself before huffing in irritation, grabbing the portable plasma screen on the table and shooing him away ahead of her. "Now listen up. I've done some research on Kumo's host. He's the brother of Kumogakure's captain, the Raikage. He has full control over his virus, but records suggest he has quite a temper. He has a weird love for poetry and rap, and if someone makes fun of them they are dead to him. It takes a lot to gain back his approval, so don't, whatever you do, for Hawking's sake don't diss his hobby. We need his help. You need his help. Don't fuck it up."
Naturo nods, smiling absently; Sakura just hopes he heard at least a word out of three, especially about her warning. He looks weird, she realizes after a moment of looking him up and down. He's... oh, for fuck's sake. Is he glowing? She looks at Sasuke, and sure enough--they are both fucking glowing. She strangles a laugh in her throat before it gets out--if she starts laughing now, she'll never, ever stop. She makes a mental note to tell everybody. They all need some fun after the past few weeks, and Naruto-baiting is top-of-the-line entertainment. Sasuke looks at her suspiciously when she makes a weird half-cough, half-snort sound, but she just shakes her head at him, looking amused.
Gaara and company are waiting in the hangar, the Puppeteer's shuttle landed neatly behind them. The shuttle only runs with ten crew, so their choice of entourage is limited. Gaara, Kankuro and Neji are the only three going from the Puppeteer, so that Naruto can have a lot more of his people at his back--he's the one at risk, after all. Kakashi and Sai are waiting nearby, chatting to their guests; Yamato and Gai have their heads close together; Gai's sparkling persona is suspiciously absent. It's all business, then. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke make their way over and everyone starts moving into the shuttle. Naruto claps Gaara on the back as he passes; Sasuke and Neji smirk at each other and raise equally snarky eyebrows of greeting. Sakura smiles at Gaara, whose lips twitch to indicate that he's smiling back at her.
Not much is said between the ten for the half-hour it takes to reach the Kumogakure. Naruto looks relaxed, but Sakura can see how tense his shoulders are, and apparently so can Gaara, who leans over to murmur something at him, getting a small smile back. Sasuke scowls and contemplates saying something; Kakashi's right foot mashing over his toes makes him think twice. Naruto does not need--what had Sai said? Manly posturing displays? He smiles--a tiny, self-mocking twist of his lips and receives an approving nod from Kakashi for his trouble. Gaara watches the interaction with interest, raising his own nonexistant eyebrow at Sasuke. Sasuke remains poker-faced, but Gaara leans back and away from Naruto, nodding very slightly to himself. He glares very, very hard at Sasuke, who interprets it correctly as a 'hurt him and you're so dead they'll be collecting atoms of you from all over the galaxy' kind of glare. He raises an eyebrow back, but his eyes hold no challenge. He's fine with that.
---
Onwards to Part Four!
Part Three
The first step to mastering the program in his head--or stomach--or wherever the stupid thing is sealed, is intense meditation. Jiraiya monitors his vital signs and wakes Naruto up when he starts to doze. No one else is allowed into the room, due to Naruto's complete inability to concentrate on anything for more than approximately thirty seconds before drifting off to something different.
Jiraiya is most annoyed with the way Naruto fidgets like a tadpole as soon as his concentration breaks. He's supposed to stay perfectly still--how else can he synchronise himself to the program? They have to become one, mind-and-information, in perfect balance if there's ever a chance for Naruto to be able to impose his will on the viral code, let alone on the entire recovered program. So he's taken to wack him on the head every time he fidgets, via the ship maintenance bot stationed right behind him. Natuto yelps in a most satisfying manner that makes Jiraiya all tingly in the part of him that still enjoys petty revenge. Still, the boy shows promise--Jiraiya can already feel the program stirring, reaching for Naruto's subconsciousness. Now if only the damned whelp could really focus, reach out to the program with his conscious mind--then they would really be getting somewhere.
Meanwhile, another part of Jiraiya is having a chat with Kakashi and Sai. Iruka is sitting in the background with Yamato, both working on their plasma screens but making no secret of the fact that they are listening to every word. As two of the six official senior members of the crew, they are privy to any and all important information as a matter of course.
"We have to find the Hachibi as soon as possible. We have to get him on our side and work out how the eigth piece is stored, as well as the least damaging way to extract it. I've been scanning the wavelengths for any mention of him, but it's as if he didn't exist. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Akatsuki have him. But I'm quite certain they don't - Itachi hasn't mentioned a word of it. I'm leaning towards the conclusion that he's being protected, kept somewhere in complete lockdown. And the only place I can think of that has that sort of lockdown containment facility is--"
"Kumogakure," Kakashi finishes for him. "You think they've sealed him in the Falls of Truth?"
"I'm pretty sure that's the case. His brother, Kumogakure's captain, would go to any lengths to keep him safe."
"So we have to go through the ship's captain in addition to the Falls of Truth containment facility's defences? It's one thing after another these days!" Yamato grouches, annoyed.
"That's exactly how it is."
The groan of frustration could be heard three doors down. Which is, in fact, exactly what happens as Sasuke moves to enter the mess hall and stops mid-step to consider the sound. Karin plows into his back, more intentionally than because of being startled. Sasuke doesn't make a sound, though he can certainly feel and not appreciate the elbow digging into his spine. What makes it all so much worse is Suigetsu not paying attention, thus tripping and landing on top of Karin. This time Sasuke growls menacingly, not that his childish teammates pay any attention to him. He shrugs the two off in a heap on the floor and makes his way into the room to face a smirking Sakura.
"Your team horizontally challanged, as well as vertically?"
Suigetsu flails from the bottom of the pile. "Hey, I am not that much shorter than Zabuza! He's just freakishly tall!"
Sasuke sticks a foot back, nudging Suigetsu and Karin none-too-gently. "As you see. What's all that groaning coming from the bridge?"
"They're talking about the Hachibi, I imagine. Unless he's telling them that Naruto is an idiot, but then they already knew that."
"Isn't he your captain?"
"Yeah, your point? I've known him since we were eight. Trust me when I say he hasn't improved all that much with age in the brains department."
Sasuke lifts an eyebrow. "I was under the impression that he was making all that crap up as he went along."
"He is. Look, I'm not saying he's dumb. He's one of the smartest and most aware people I know. It's just that he finds it boring, acting his age. It's actually quite endearing, when he's not irritating me to death."
"Hn." That makes a lot of sense, actually, Sasuke thinks.
"Hey, wanna go see how he's doing? He should be about ready to try deactivating Jiraiya again. Not that that's ever worked, but it doesn't stop him giving it a go."
Sasuke nods. He's only known Naruto for a few days, but already irritating him is becoming a cherished hobby.
When they get to the closed-off room that Sakura has to key in her senior-crew-member code to open, Naruto is glaring painful death at the plasma screen on the wall showing Jiraiya's face as he used to be, all spiky white hair and red markings on his cheeks, complete with a giant self-satisfied smile splitting his face in two.
"... would have gotten it much sooner, if you could've just stayed still long enough! And was it really necessary to disassemble my maintenance bot? You're going to have to repair it now, you realise. Think of it as penitence."
"Bloody bastard pervert sannin," Naruto mutters under his nose. "And for the record, I figured out the connection myself, thank you very much! Damn useless machine..."
"Naruto!" Sakura is not amused. "Jiraiya's only trying to help, you ungrateful jerk! You do realise we absolutely have to have you competent and skillful enough to be of any use, yes?"
Naruto sighs explosively, but knows she's right. "Thanks, Ero-ship," he mutters grudgingly.
"Wait. Does that mean he's actually in touch with the program? It's only been a few hours!"
"Yeah, yeah, Princess Sasuke, I got it all sorted out!" Naruto's smug boasting makes Sasuke's eye twitch in irritation.
"He's pretty much connected with the program, and he's learning to exert his will over it. He can get it to do small things--hack into portable screens, swap data stores, destroy priceless works of art..."
"Oh, stop being so melodramatic! It's porn!"
"It's not porn, it's quality literature! How come only Kakashi appreciates quality literature on this ship?"
"Because he's the only one perverted enough? I seriously do not now how the hell Iruka can stand him, let alone fuck him!"
"Be fucked by him, you mean?" Jiraiya supplies slyly, still irritated beyond belilef. The look of horror on Naruto's face at the revelation is a beautiful sight to behold.
"But--but--nooooo! You're lying, it's not possible my brother is an UKE!"
"Yeah, but can you really see Kakashi being the," Sakura clears her throat, attempting to maintain her lady-like image with limited success, "er, bottom?" Sakura shudders, clearly from the vileness of the thought, certainly not at all because it makes her all hot and shivery inside.
Sasuke is amused at the expression of pain twisting Naruto's face up at the thought, and the look in Sakura's eye. It makes him all warm inside to see the creation of a yaoi fangirl in the making, especially when Kakashi is going to be at the receiving end of the cameras and the binoculars this time round. Still, the thought of Kakashi and Iruka together is not really unpleasant in any way, more... is it him or is the room getting too warm? It must be Naruto hyperventilating. Of course it is. Yes.
"I hate to break up this little meeting, but how useful is Naruto really at this point? I'm guessing he's got a long way to go to be able to fully control the Kyuubi." The three of them twitch a little when Kakashi appears at the door.
Jiraiya nods on screen. "He needs a lot of work, still, and someone to show him how--there's no one on the ship who can do that to the extent he needs. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Kakashi exhales wearily. "Probably not, but in any case I think once we meet up with Gaara it'll be time to take a little trip off-course, to the Kumogakure ship. There's clearly someone whom you should meet, Naruto." Kakashi looks at the mix of pale, amused and intrigued faces in front of him, and smirks unseen behind his mask. "Oh, and stay out of my personal life, if it's not too much trouble. Just hope Iruka doesn't hear about this conversation."
Naruto gulps reflexively; even Sakura looks a little apprehensive at the thought of Iruka's temper going off. Sasuke just smirks--Naruto privately thinks the idiot obviously doesn't know any better.
"We'll have Suigetsu take over until we reach Puppeteer, in about another four hours," Jiraiya decrees, and Naruto grins. He likes Suigetsu.
He really, really hates Suigetsu, Naruto decides after two and a half hours of yelling, screaming, sulking and unnecessary blows to the back of his head. Suigetsu may be a genius, but he can't teach worth shit, at least not in a way that Naruto can understand.
"Look, it's not reintegrating the quantum nodes, it's joining with the hyperphase system and changing the nodes into a quasi-quantum state, okay?"
"I don't understand a bloody word of what you're saying! Quasi-quantum state? Have you been snorting Eridani dust again?"
Suigetsu slams his fist into the table, hard. "I can't work with this idiot. Just... take him away before I lose my patience completely and short-circuit his nervous system to make him shut the fuck up!"
"Suigetsu, he's not worth it. Why don't you let him go, nice and slow, there we go," Sasuke coaxes, keeping a wary eye on the fingers of Suigetsu's left hand.
Suigetsu withdraws the jack he's been about to stab into Naruto's brain with an irritated huff. "Spoil my fun," he grumbles.
Sasuke rolls his eyes. "You are clearly getting nowhere. Let's call it a day. There's only over an hour to go before we reach the rendezvous point anyway."
"I've had enough. I'm starving and there's ramen in the stores. I'm out of here." Naruto takes off in a huff.
"Is he really that bad?" Sasuke asks.
Suigetsu sighs. "No, not really. He's smart, and he has a grasp of the techniques involved, but he's never done this before, so he has none of the terminology that I can use to explain it to him. He simply has no idea what I'm talking about, is all. I'm sure he'd get it if he could understand it, but it's pretty useless me teaching him the hackers' language on top of the method, and I can't get him to understand me without it, so... stalemate. Anyway, I hear we're heading towards someone who'd have much better luck getting through to him."
Sasuke grunts; Suigetsu stretches and leaves without another word, no doubt on his way to pester Zabuza again. Sasuke makes his way to the mess hall for lack of anywhere more interesting to be. He could go talk to Kakashi, he supposes, but there's nothing further he can learn from the man. He could go practice with the lightning glove, but it's no fun without an opponent with the right level of skills. He suspects Naruto would give him a run for his money, but Naruto is currently stuffing his face, and irritated, and in no mood to get his ass handed to him, so Sasuke thinks he should probably leave it for another day. He could go to the bridge, he considers as he makes his way up the corridor. Jiraiya's always good for a talk, since he hardly does anything else these days, but Sasuke is in no mood to learn any more unpleasant truths about his heretofore held beliefs today. Maybe he'd go for that chat tomorrow, if the Suna delegation doesn't take up all of his time.
When he enters the mess hall, the only person he sees is Naruto. He's sitting on his own in the middle of the room, a pile of empty ramen cartons as high as his head balancing precariously on his right. He's still stuffing his face, making loud, obsene slurping noises that Sasuke finds at once disgusting and vaguely erotic. He shakes himself; 'erotic', 'Naruto', and 'ramen' do not belong in the same sentence.
"Hey, Sasuke-bastard. You want some? I'm feeling generous."
"No, thanks. I can't understand how you can eat that horrible excuse for nutrition value."
"WHAT. How can you say that?! Oh, my beloved ramen, do not listen to this heathen and his insults! Ramen is no less than the food of the gods, you wretched philistine--"
"What have you been reading? Do you even know what that word means?"
"Oi! Just because I look stupid doesn't mean I am--Wait, no. That's not what I mean. I--uh--well, nevermind that! Don't try to distract me! How can you even think such blasphemous thoughts about the salty deliciousness that is ramen?"
Sasuke tunes out the 'Ramen is my One Twu Luv' rant before Naruto has even built up steam. If he's heard it once, he's heard them all, but he can't seem to stop himself from needling the blond idiot; he makes the most interesting faces when he gets fired up like this, and Sasuke can watch him all day long. He fights the smirk trying to take over his face at a particular example of rubber-like flexibility, as Naruto's eyebrows scrunch almost down to his nose and his mouth stretches open in a rictus of fury. He should charge people to see this, he thinks; it lightens his mood remarkably.
Soragakure enters Suna's atmosphere approximately fifteen minutes sooner than predicted. Jiraiya gives routine landing procedure over the intercom, instructing all passengers on the Soragakure to please keep all limbs in the vehicle and remain calm, even if the whole ship spontaneously combusts or appears to be crashing.
Naruto takes the captain's chair in the cockpit for the purpose of landing the ship. Jiraiya could do it himself, but it is one of the most important times for the captain to be immediately available. He can't meditate while they're so close to Suna, anyway. Sasuke takes the co-pilot's seat.
Naruto flips the gauges, preparing the preliminary shields for entering the atmosphere. "What are you doing, and where is Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto says without looking up.
"He is otherwise indisposed," Sasuke replies. The Soragakure's control panel is entirely different from Taka's, but he figures it out quickly enough.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Naruto demands. Jiraiya presses a few buttons himself.
"It means he's busy fucking Iruka and can't be bothered to help you do a routine procedure, dumbass."
"LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU," Naruto insists. "IRUKA-SENSEI IS PURE AND TRUE AND NOT BEING DESPOILED BY KAKASHI-SENSEI."
Sasuke snorts and pretends that isn't a smile Naruto just brought to his face.
"Gaara!" Naruto cries, running forward to greet Suna's infamously emotionless and cold-blooded leader with a hug.
Gaara doesn't quite blush, simply becomes less pale, and awkwardly raises one hand to pat Naruto's back. Sasuke sneers. That hug was totally not even close to necessary.
Behind him, Sai says, "See, Sakura-chan? Hugs are a perfectly normal form of greeting."
Sakura sighs. "From the front, yes. From behind, if you grab my breasts one more time--"
"Naruto said that was the appropriate procedure," Sai protests.
"Oh, did he?" Sakura murmurs threateningly.
Sai smiles, triumphant, and Sasuke wonders for a moment if he is really as clueless as he seems. He and Naruto are having... something of a feud at the moment, not least because Sai insists on bringing up Naruto's penis (or lack thereof) at every possible moment. Which is patently untrue, Sasuke thinks; it's obvious Sai hasn't seen him naked, because Naruto is hung like a... He catches wind of what he'd been about to think and flushes furiously. He'll NOT be admitting any time soon, on pain of death, that he may have used his Sharingan for a somewhat different purpose than what it had been designed for, even if the reason was mere curiosity at Sai's insistence and nothing more.
Meanwhile, Gaara is still patting Naruto's back, who seems to be sniffing at Gaara's neck. Sasuke sees red. He eyes the guards that circle their leader and considers how many seconds it would take him to disable them and pummel the redhead to the ground. Then Gaara lifts his head, as if sensing Sasuke's killing intent, and his eyes are pure challenge. He shifts his arm closer around Naruto, tucking him tighter into his body, all the while staring expressionlessly into Sasuke's eyes that bleed to red from the unspoken, but very much there, provocation. Gaara raises a taunting eyebrow; Sasuke glowers but stays where he is. He recognises a predator when he sees one, and he's not about to turn himself into the prey.
Naruto seems to shudder in Gaara's hold, peeling himself slowly away from him. "It's good to see you, Green eyes," he says, his voice slightly husky. Then he smiles, a blinding, loving, friendly grin that seems to light the room and makes everybody present want to smile back at him. Sasuke restrains himself with some effort.
"Don't call me that," Gaara says, voice a perfect monotone. Sasuke wonders how the hell someone as effervescent as Naruto could have ever dated someone as stiff and forbidding as Gaara.
"You're looking good," Naruto says, ignoring the admonishment. Sasuke decides this must be the way--by completely ignoring Gaara's reticence and powering through his objections. After all, Naruto is the most stubborn, pig-headed man he's ever had the misfortune to meet.
Naruto does, however, step back, almost respectful. "Thank you for coming," he says, suddenly all business. "We're kiiiiind of in trouble. Can we go someplace to talk?"
Gaara turns and leads the way without a word. Naruto looks back at Sakura, mouthing 'two hours' at her, making sure she knows to be ready for departure as soon as they're done talking and planning. Sakura nods and chucks something heavy at Naruto, who catches it reflexively. It's the Soragakure's mobile communications network device, the one with direct contact to Jiraiya's memory banks. Naruto nods an acknowledgement, turns, then stops.
"Kakashi, now would be a really good time to stop fucking around."
"I know," comes the calm voice at his ear and Sasuke sees Naruto visibly restrain himself from flinching, trying to act like he knew Kakashi was at his side all along. "Fucking pervert," he murmurs, but does not move away when a grinning Kakashi places a steadying hand on his shoulder.
Sasuke stays at the ship docking station, keeping an eye on his team milling around and chatting to the Soragakure crew. He's surprised at how easily his teammates are getting along with the others. Suigetsu is in the middle of a lively conversation with the Nara guy, and Juugo is chatting pleasantly with the Hyuuga, comparing notes on the energy signatures of certain birds. Karin is the only odd one out, sitting cross-legged on a bunch of crates, chewing gum and flipping through a magazine, completely ignoring the commotion around her.
Sasuke leans against the wall, wondering what to do with his time. He knows Naruto and the others are debriefing Gaara, making plans to get to the Hachibi and then further on to the mainframe. He's not sure Gaara will like this plan, having almost died because of the meddling of others into things they did not understand. But he had been saved by Naruto himself, so maybe he would not react too harshly to the knowledge that Naruto has a part of that same evil in him. Sasuke shrugs. There's nothing to do but hurry up and wait for the messengers to get back with the outcome.
"The waiting is always the hardest part," a voice by his shoulder says.
Sasuke looks up, suppressing his surprise. It's Iruka.
"I don't think we've been formally introduced in all the chaos," Iruka says. "Umino Iruka." He holds out a hand.
"Uchiha Sasuke," Sasuke replies, ignoring the hand.
"That's not very polite," Iruka says, frowning. "Do you know where the handshake originated?" He pauses. "Sorry, I used to be a teacher," he laughs.
"I see that," Sasuke replies.
Iruka takes a seat next to Sasuke. "They'll be back soon. It's not that they don't want to take more people with them, it's just that Gaara isn't the most popular boy in the universe, and they already trust Kakashi and Naruto enough, so..."
"They trust Naruto because he used to fuck Gaara," Sasuke translates.
Iruka blushes. "W-well, actually, that started after the diplomatic meetings."
"I heard that from an Akatsuki member--the one that Naruto airlocked. They're too close to Naruto and Gaara."
Iruka frowns. "They could be, but--that was a bit of an open secret between Hoshii and Suna, but thank you for this information, I'll be sure to let Naruto and Gaara know of the potential danger." Iruka ruffles Sasuke's hair as he stands, heading toward the main communications panel.
Sasuke glares at his back, shaking his head to smooth his bangs in place. Nobody messes with the hair! Still, the man is pleasant enough that Sasuke might just skip putting him on his "to kill" list. Besides, anyone who can take on Hatake Kakashi and hold his own against him is an adversary to be reckoned with.
"So you'll help, then?"
"Idiot. Why would I be bringing my people to this meeting you if I wasn't willing to help?"
"It'll be dangerous, Gaara."
"Don't insult my intelligence. Of course it's going to be fucking dangerous. That's why I'm not letting you go there alone. You need someone watching your collective backsides for you."
"Naruto is right, Gaara-sama. Akatsuki as well as the Alliance are on our trail, and Naruto has yet to come to terms with the programming inside him, let alone learn how to control it."
"I understand that the situation is serious, Hatake-san. However, I do think you underestimate Naruto and his ability to adapt. If there's anyone who can sort this mess out, it's him."
"That's all well and good, brother, but we will need to get hold of the Hachibi to have any hope of success. It just so happens that Temari checked in at last today, and she has some interesting news regarding the Kumogakure," Kankuro drawls, enjoying the looks of surprise on the faces of the Hoshii crew.
"Temari's out there? So you actually know where the Hachibi's ship is located?"
"Yes, and we've opened communication channels. We're negotiating our arrival as we speak."
Naruto is totally dumbstruck. "But--how--I mean, we didn't know we were going after the Hachibi until a few hours ago! How the hell did you know to contact them?"
"Heh," Kankuro smirks, "Just say 'thank you' for us having done your job for you."
"Hey! No, but really, why were you going after him in the first place?"
"Insurance," Gaara tells them. "We know this war isn't over, not by a long shot. We know everyone is looking for the Hachibi and the Kyuubi in order to gain an advantage. In fact," Gaara looks at Naruto, equal parts pitying and apologetic, "we know you are the host for the Kyuubi, Naruto. We've known for some time."
Naruto pales. "How long?" he rasps.
Gaara looks reluctant.
"How long?" Naruto repeats, louder, an almost imperceptible shaking in his hands.
"Since before the diplomatic meetings. We actually started them to see if we could gain you as an ally, not because we were that desperate for Hoshii's assistance."
"Fucking--fuck, Gaara!" Naruto swears, flinching violently. "I fucking trusted you! I FUCKING WENT AFTER YOU WHEN YOU WERE TAKEN! And all along it was a ruse?"
"No, Naruto, no, don't think that, please. It was before I knew you. Do you think I would have let you into my bed if I was just after political advantage? You know me better than that." Gaara looks earnest--hurt and angry that Naruto would think that.
Naruto deflates. For one, it's the most Gaara has said for as long as he's known the man. For another, he can see the worry in Gaara's eyes, worry for him. Naruto knows damn well Gaara does not worry for anyone, ever, besides his few important persons.
"You need the Hachibi to help you, and I'm going to make that happen. His ship is only five light years away. We should get to it by dinnertime; and by then Temari should have concluded the negotiations. Go back to your ship and set off to the coordinates I've just had Neji beam to Jiraiya. We'll make the hyperspace jump together in forty-five minutes."
"Okay," Naruto says, sounding defeated. It hurts to know that Gaara saw him first as a host, and only later as a real person. Then again, Gaara has been struggling with the same thing for years, and it would be unlike Naruto to think so little of his friend after all they have been through together. He recovers his usual wide grin, and if it is a few watts dimmer, well--nobody says anything about it.
Hyuuga Neji finds them as they're leaving to go back to the Soragakure and prepare for the long trip ahead.
"Naruto," he nods neutrally.
"Neji," Naruto returns the nod, only a little wary. Neji and him have history, after all, and not just because his cousin, the legendary Hyuuga heiress Naruto has been trying to find (and hold to ransom) all this time. They were once bitter enemies, Neji--locked in his nihilistic belief that he would never be his own man, never be free from his family's tight hold on his actions, and Naruto--determined to show him that there was another way. Neji despised him for his optimism; Naruto disliked Neji for his easy acceptance of defeat. "Never give up," Naruto had once said, and, "Your fate is not set in stone if even a failure can beat a genius", and when Naruto had wiped the floor with Neji, Neji had tentatively started to believe him.
Now Naruto looks at the strong, firm, confident man Neji has become and feels quiet satisfaction at being able to improve someone's life so much. To his surprise, Gaara stops very close by Neji's side, shoulders almost touching. Are they...? Nah, they can't be! Can they? Gaara brushes Neji's fingers with his own for no reason that he can see, and Naruto has his answer, albeit a very unexpected one. He looks from one to the other, face bewildered. When had that happened?
"Fourty-five minutes, Naruto. You'd best be off. Tell Uchiha I said 'hi', he'll know what I mean," Neji says cryptically, a strange smile twisting his mouth. Naruto scowls. Is there even a single person who isn't sleeping with someone he knows these days? The thought of Neji and Gaara together is unnerving enough, but the thought of Neji and Sasuke together doesn't just make him uncomfortable; it makes him see red like nothing else.
"Right. I'll be sure to do that," he sneers and turns his back on the lovebirds.
"What was that all about?" he hears Gaara murmur behind him, Neji's reply fading in the background, but doesn't care enough to stop.
He wonders what the Hachibi host will be like. Is he going to be as lonely and bitter as Gaara had been? Or is he going to be more like him, burying the loneliness deep inside behind a shield of bright smiles and boasting speeches? He shrugs. They'll know soon enough.
"Back into the ship with you," he decrees when he sees his milling crew members. "We'll be setting off in half an hour."
"Setting off for where?" Sasuke wants to know.
"To talk to the Hachibi host," Kakashi says easily from his slouch behind Naruto. "Gaara has graciously agreed to help us find him and ask for his help in reigning in the Kyuubi."
"Neji says 'hi', by the way. How the hell do you two know each other, anyway? I thought you were on Orochifag's ship for years and years!"
Sasuke smirks. "We had a few training matches some years ago. I won. He got pissed, he tried to fight me dirty and I won again. He's probably still sore about it."
"Oh, is that what the kids call it these days?" Kakashi muses, making Sasuke flush and glower at him, and Naruto snort in amusement at the look on Sasuke's face.
"I didn't fuck him! We just... messed around a little. Shut up, moron," he growls at Naruto, who is shaking with laughter, irritation forgotten.
"But you're both so preeeetty! Who bottomed?" he gasps out, and then hightails it back to the ship, still giggling like a toddler, when Sasuke starts for him with a clear killing intent. "Race you to the cockpit!" he screams over his shoulder, eyes twinkling with challenge. Sasuke runs after him, pretending he isn't smiling just a little.
"All hands on deck?" Naruto asks, taking his seat. Sasuke sits in the co-pilot's chair again.
"Affirmative. All systems ready. Charging enhanced warp drives. Making a note to find more sun crysts, we need power for this. More pirating, less flirting," Jiraiya says.
Naruto sputters. "WHAT. Did you just tell me 'less flirting'?" He stops clicking levers into place, taking a moment to stare into the nearest security camera sternly.
Jiraiya makes a sound like a cough; another remnant of his days of needing oxygen to live. "Right. Entering hyperspace in... 3... 2... 1..."
Sasuke ensures that the inertial dampeners are at full capacity, just in time for the ship to take off, full speed ahead.
The jump proceeds as normal--everyone gets stuck to the back of their chairs for the first second or so; then, breathing gets easier again. They're going to stay in hyperspace for a long time by Soragakure's standards--a little over nine hours. The enhanced warp drives really boost their speed--the trip would have taken them a little over ten days at normal speed. Unfortunately, for nearer distances they can't really utilise them--by the time they warm up, the ship would overshoot a target closer than a lightyear away five times over. That's, however, nine hours in which Naruto can brood and sulk and imagine all sorts of torrid Neji-and-Sasuke porn acts in his head as a poor distraction from the revelations Gaara had dumped on him. He needs to do something that takes his mind away from it all, so he heads for the training room intent on working out until he exhausts himself enough to sleep. He can't actually remember the last time he slept; the last two and a half days have been so damned hectic, yet sleep is the farthest thing from his mind.
He's had a lot to cope with in that time. First, rescuing Sasuke seems to have been the wrong move to make if he wanted to preserve his quiet, ordered world. Then the Itachi and Akatsuki thing, resulting in more rescuing, and then the cyborg program host thing... It's mostly been a lot of fun, but he can't even keep it all straight in his own head. He desperately needs to just pass out for a while, but his brain won't shut the fuck up! He even considers going to Sakura, having her stick a bunch of tranquiliser darts in his arm, but he doesn't want to risk the damn program overriding him again.
He reaches the training room only to see a strange light coming from around the door jamb. Curious, he pushes it open wider and stares in amazement at the lightning coming out of Sasuke's palm. There's some sort of glove over his hand, exuding a--what is that, a forcefield? condensed energy? plasma waves? He has no idea, but it looks cool as fuck. Sasuke's face is screwed up in concentration, sweat beading on his forehead from the effort. He looks powerful, and in control, and too fucking hot to be allowed. Naruto feels his pants tighten painfully at the sight of Sasuke biting his lips, straining to hold his place, and he is literally unable to stop thinking about what this man would look like in bed under him, straining for an entirely different reason. The image burns itself in his retinas--he is sure he'll be seeing the afterimages for a long time to come. He stumbles, because he absolutely cannot take his eyes off him--Sasuke's head snaps up, the lightning beams gone in an instant, leaving the room in deep shadow.
"Uh," Naruto manages, trying to turn his body away so that his condition is not immediately visible. Sasuke looks at him as if he's only just seeing him for the first time. When Naruto says nothing more, he lifts a mocking eyebrow.
"Cat got your tongue?"
'Tongue', thinks Naruto, 'Sasuke's tongue', and the visuals the question provokes are categorically not what Sasuke meant at all, he is certain.
"Uh," he reiterrates smoothly, and he cannot stop staring at the pale, muscled body underneath the mesh shirt Sasuke has dug out from Hawking-knows-where. The tight leather pants that leave nothing to the imagination are not helping at fucking all. Sasuke's got nothing to be ashamed of, he thinks in between drooling.
Sasuke's still staring at him, he notices, but can't seem to snap out of it. Oh crap, any minute now Sasuke's going to look down and his coat, while long and spacious, does not cover his front too well, having been designed to billow behind him as he walks. It's one of the reasons he bought it in the first place, but while immensely stylish it's not helping his cause any at the moment. Sasuke's eyes start lowering from his; they're at chest level, at stomach level now, and he can see the exact moment when Sasuke clocks on to his predicament--his eyes widen and his nostrils flare, as if he's actually sniffing him out. Then his eyelids lower and his eyes darken further, if that's possible. A smirk tugs at the corner of his mobile lips and Naruto wants to kiss it off his face.
"Hn," Sasuke snorts, and he's prowling forward like a fucking predator; Naruto had no idea men could move like that, even Kakashi doesn't move like that, and oh crap he's babbling and Sasuke is far too close. He feels himself being pressed into the doorframe, Sasuke's warm, lithe body splayed all along his frame. Naruto realises he is two inches taller than him the exact moment Sasuke dips his head and buries his nose in his neck. His eyelids flutter when Sasuke exhales against his too-sensitive skin, and when a tongue flicks out to lick at it he's sure he's going to pass out momentarily. It's been far, far too long since he last got laid and Sasuke is temptation incarnate.
"Fuck it," he murmurs and reaches for Sasuke's ass in the exact moment that Sasuke reaches for him. There is a flash of light, a slightly singed smell; Naruto has a brief moment to contemplate Sasuke's horrified face and think, 'ah crap, not a-fucking-gain', before the world fades to black.
He wakes up slowly, feeling drowsy but very well rested for some reason.
"Whu--?" he asks intelligently and cracks his eyes open. He appears to be in his bed, but his left side hurts something fierce. He looks down to find that he is naked, with only a swathe of bandages covering his torso. "What happened this time?" he whines, not expecting an answer.
"That was me, sorry," comes from the corner of his room. He snaps his head in that direction to find Sasuke slumped in the spare chair not covered by a pile of clothes. A further look finds said pile dumped on the floor by him. He looks up at Sasuke again, and suddenly remembers everything. Oh, fuckity fuck fuck.
"You fucking electrocuted me, you bastard!" he yells, choosing to focus on the less mortifying point. Sasuke cringes.
"I didn't mean to. I forgot I hadn't turned it off," he admits, looking sheepish. "Anyway, Sakura says you're absolutely fine apart from the singeing, and you've been sleeping for the past eight hours so you should be almost healed by now."
He does not mention the part where Sakura had almost bitten his head off for injuring her captain yet again. "He's got enough to worry about without you trying to kill him left and right!" she had yelled at some length.
"So... If I've been sleeping for eight hours, does that mean we've almost arrived?"
"We'll be there in about half an hour. I'd say you have time for a shower, but you're not supposed to wet the wound until it's healed over completely."
There is a knock at the door. "Is that Sasuke in there?"
Sasuke freezes, shaking his head furiously.
"Uh, no," Naruto lies.
Sakura sighs. "Jiraiya, can you scan for Sasuke's life signs?"
"He's in the captain's quarters," Jiraiya confirms.
"Naruto, I don't want him in there with you alone. He just electrocuted you. I'm coming in, cover yourself," Sakura says. She checks her tranq gun, making sure that she has the appropriate tranquilizers loaded, just in case Sasuke tries something funny. He's attacked the captain of the ship that saved his sorry ass twice. At this point, Sakura is willing to accept even the most minor offense as reason for shooting.
She can hear muffled curses and the sound of two idiots fumbling in the room for something to cover Naruto. She opens the door while the noise is still going.
Sasuke is holding a blanket over Naruto's crotch. They both freeze at the sound of the doors sliding open. Oh, Sakura thinks.
"Excellent," Naruto says, attempting the most lecherous grin he can manage. "Would you like to join us, Sakura-chan?"
Sakura blushes. "N-nevermind. You should be fine in no time. Your safety is up to you after that." She covers her eyes with one hand, turning around. "Jiraiya, keep an eye on Naruto's vitals. I don't want to know what is going on in there unless his heart stops."
"I don't want to know, either!" Jiraiya protests. "Naruto is like my--I don't want to know what he does in his bedroom, have someone else monitor the life signs panel manually."
"On second thought, maybe I don't care if his vital signs suddenly stop." Sakura takes the tranq darts out of her gun, heading back to the med labs, her cheeks still darker than her hair.
Naruto sucks in a breath of air between his teeth, throwing his head back against the pillow. "You're--ah," he gasps, trying not to wiggle his hips too much, despite the growing need for friction. He can feel the warmth washing over his left side as the nanites finish the healing process in a wave from the top of the wound to the bottom.
Naruto sits up, grabbing the front of Sasuke's shirt. "Stop doing that," he growls.
Sasuke releases the cloth he'd been holding over Naruto's hips with a smirk. "Doing what?" He reaches his (lightning-free) hand for Naruto's backside again. "Healed yet?"
"The nanites work pretty fast," Naruto comments, pulling Sasuke into a searing kiss. "Fuck, we've got thirty minutes."
Sasuke climbs onto the bed, pushing Naruto back down. "Tch, you won't last that long." He slides one leg between Naruto's, nipping at Naruto's collarbone.
Any protest Naruto may have made is lost as he arches into Sasuke's hips, now strategically positioned to drive him insane with the need for more contact, faster, now. Fuck, but he wants to feel Sasuke's bare skin sliding against his more than he wants to keep breathing. He grabs hold of the nearest garment and starts pulling, trying not to rip it, but really not caring too much if it means he's going to get his skin contact. Sasuke shifts on top of him, simultaniously rubbing against him exactly the way to ensure maximum friction, and still managing to shuck his top and slither right out of those damned-to-all-hells tight leather pants that started the whole thing rolling. All that in just one movement. Naruto's mouth goes dry at the implications.
"You know," he attempts nonchalance. "I'm still a little sore over here. Maybe I'm not supposed to be moving too much. Perhaps you could--" get on top of me and ride me hard to kingdom come "--do most of the moving yourself this first time?" He flashes Sasuke his most innocent and winning smile.
"Dobe," Sasuke smirks and straightens slightly, pressing down hard. "Don't try this manipulation crap, you'll just injure yourself. You might as well say it. You want me to slick you up, stretch myself open, slide your cock inside my tight ass and ride you into the mattress. Have I got it in one?"
"Oh, fuck," Naruto manages, almost shaking with the need for exactly what that bastard just said in that 'liquid-sex' voice of his to happen, to be happening right fucking now, thanks. "Please," he manages to force out from behind gritted teeth. He hates to beg, but he hates even more to lose this--this--fuck, he can't even think with Sasuke's skin right there; he can't get his hands to move fast enough. He's absolutely in lust with Sasuke's shoulders -- muscled, broad, perfectly formed and, he is finding out, tasting delicious. He tries a small bite--when all that does is make Sasuke stiffen above him and groan he adds a little suction, soothing the sting of the bite with flicks of his tongue.
"Fucking hell, stop teasing and get on with it," Sasuke growls, and, "Where's the damned lube?"
Naruto tears himself away from his new favorite place--his nose buried in the crook where Sasuke's shoulder meets his neck--and reaches around for his bedside table. His room is an absolute tip, and the top drawer is no different. He chucks out tissues, tubs of lip balm, a ball of string that he has no idea what it's doing there, a pair of socks with more holes in them than weave, a butt plug (he makes sure to chuck this much closer to the bed than the other crap), and finally his questing fingers close around a tube of hand lotion. Fuck, it would have to do. He presses it into Sasuke's hand--he wants his own hands free to roam all over the lithe body above him.
Sasuke raises an eyebrow but refrains from snarking--he doesn't want to ruin the mood again, and a case of blue balls is not high on his list of priorities. Instead, he snaps the top open and pours a generous amount in his palm. He trails the first three fingers of his right hand through the mess suggestively, and then his hand disappears from view. Naruto knows the very moment when Sasuke breaches himself--his body grows heavier on top of him, legs falling open over his waist, hips canting forward and back in turns, rubbing his length over Naruto's rippling stomach. Sasuke's mouth drops open, his eyes seem to roll into his head; he moans, and Naruto can't hold back his answering groan and the instinctive lift of his own hips. His cock slides against Sasuke's slick crack, brushing against the hand otherwise occupied. Sasuke looks down on him, lids lowered, breath coming out in hot huffs and little hitches that make Naruto want to bury himself inside him this instant.
"You done yet?" he pants, clutching at those slim hips.
"Impatient, much?" Sasuke smirks.
"With you fucking yourself on your fingers like that? You bet your ass I am!" Naruto grins his shit-eating grin.
Sasuke pulls out said fingers with a filthy squelch that makes Naruto wince and at the same time manages to turn him on almost unbearably. He grabs behind himself for Naruto's cock and slicks him up thoroughly; then he shifts and slides and Naruto is enveloped in scorching heat, squeezed to within an inch of his life. He grits his teeth and focuses on Sasuke's face, which has gone slack from pleasure, eyes squeezed tightly shut, tongue licking his lower lip. Sasuke takes him all the way in, hips shifting to rest against his, and it's more than he can take--he tugs on Sasuke's biceps, brings him closer so that he can take that lower lip into his mouth, slip his tongue past it to play with Sasuke's, memorise the taste that bursts into his awareness. Then Sasuke starts moving, and Naruto knows that his initial estimate is quite correct--he certainly won't last half an hour. Hell, he won't even last ten minutes if Sasuke carries on twisting his hips like that, Jesus fuck! He moans long and ragged, gritting out Sasuke's name when Sasuke squeezes around him, and whips his body upwards; he seems to have done something right--Sasuke grunts and bears down harder. "Fuck, right there, don't even move from there!"
"I won't," Naruto promises, and thrusts for all he's worth. Sasuke makes an obcene sound deep in his throat and reaches for his leaking cock, gripping it hard. Naruto bats his hand away and takes over, squeezing in time to the battering he's dishing out. Sasuke grips at the sheets by his pillow, bracing himself for the thrusts that shake his whole body with their force. A particularly vicious thrust almost unseats him; "Yes," he groans, and "fuck, harder," and grips Naruto's hips with his thighs, tightens around him--Naruto completely loses it, his rhythm shot to hell.
"Come on, fucking come already, you bastard, I can't--nnnh--I can't hold out much longer..."
He strokes fast at the silken hard length in his palm, flipping his thumbnail over the slit and Sasuke seems to spasm, his whole body shuddering; 'I'm--Naruto," he yelps and buckles with the force of his climax, cum splattering everywhere, Naruto has no idea how he's going to clean it all up--then Sasuke clamps down on him like a vice, reaches over, strokes the newly healed skin at his side, closes his teeth over his left nipple and holy fucking gods he is coming like a freight train behind schedule. Thank fuck the walls are soundproof, or he'd never hear the end of it. His mind blanks out blissfully; he feels like he's been electrocuted again, only much, much nicer this time round. "Fuck, Sasuke..." he gasps out when Sasuke collapses on top of him, completely spent.
Sasuke spares a languid glance for the plasma display. Jiraiya is conspicuously absent, but there is a countdown from 30 minutes, currently showing 12 minutes and 17 seconds. "Not even twenty minutes? Hn. Your endurance leaves a lot to be desired, loser. Been a while, huh?"
"Oi! The hell, asshole? I just gave you the fucking of a lifetime and all you can do is moan about it!"
"I thought that was the point?"
"Hah! I'd like to see you do any better after a year-long dry spell!"
"Is that right? So you will, then. Might want to let Gaara know we'll be a little late meeting him, Jiraiya," he throws at the plasma screen, which seems to be turning slowly pink in embarassment.
"Leave me out of this!" Jiraiya pleads; the screen pings and switches off altogether.
Sasuke settles more comfortably on top of his human pillow. "Five minutes," he warns, "and then you can just turn over and hang on." He ignores Naruto's spluttering and drops off like a rock.
"Sakura, I really do not think--"
"Shut up and go in. Someone needs to tell them to get ready, and I, for one, am going to be traumatized for life if I have to go in there again."
"Wh-what about Jiraiya-sama?"
"He won't turn on the cameras in there, or the speakers until he's sure it's clear."
"What's clear?"
"N-nothing, just go in!"
Sakura gives one last shove, and Jiraiya opens the door before Sai can crash into it, shutting it behind him.
Sai looks around the room. It's just like every other time he has been in the captain's quarters, except for the way that Sasuke is lying on top of Naruto, both of them naked and sticky and sleeping. The room reeks of sex. That's why everyone was so horrified to come in here? Sai sighs. They had him worked up for nothing.
"Captain, we have reached our destination," he tries. No response. "Sasuke-san, we have arrived." Nothing.
Sai pauses, thinking it out. How does Sakura usually wake him? With violence. Sai is not prepared to near the captain or his companion as they sleep; there is a good chance that they will wake up and fight back out of instinct.
"Captain, Sakura is getting married to Sasuke-san."
"BZUH? WHAT WAZZAT?" Naruto flails, almost knocking Sasuke off the bed.
"We have reached our destination," Sai informs him. He turns around, knocks on the door twice, and is allowed to leave. "Problem solved."
"All right!" Sakura cheers. "Open back up, I've gotta tell them about Kumo's host!"
Jiraiya opens the door for Sakura.
"SAI THEY ARE STILL NAKED. WHY ARE THEY STILL NAKED? THIS IS NOT A SOLVED PROBLEM." Sakura does not immediately tear her eyes from the scene, despite her harsh words.
"Sakura, fuck off. I'm sleeping," Sasuke grouches, shifting over to let Naruto up from under him and curling up into the unpinned duvet.
Sakura stares at him. "Is he always this pliant after sex?"
"I'll let you know," Naruto snarks and pushes himself up from the bed. He can't believe he has to fucking get up when his legs are still shaky and all he wants to do is to sleep for the next twelve hours straight. Note to self--the next time you decide to get your brains screwed out, make sure you have the rest of the night to recover from it! He never used to be this knackered before. He really needs to build his stamina up! He suspects he's going to enjoy himself while doing so, he thinks, grinning.
He stretches. Sakura blushes. 'Huh?' he thinks, then he realises he's still naked and Sasuke's release is still splattered all over him.
"Damnit, can't a man have his post-coital glow in peace?" he mutters. Sakura blushes darker still, but keeps staring at them until Sai rolls his eyes and manhandles her out of the room.
"Naruto, put that excuse for a penis away, you're scarring people for life. Take a shower and get to the unloading bay before Gaara-sama comes looking for you, and those two decide to perform a manly posturing display for everyone's entertainment."
"Get the fuck out of my quarters, Sai! I swear if you don't shut up about the penis thing..."
"'S mine anyway. Back off, creepy stalker guy," Sasuke slurrs from his sprawl on the bed and Naruto honest-to-god blushes.
"Oh, he's got it bad," Sakura groans before the door slides shut.
Naruto glances at the bed, taking in the curled-up Sasuke--hair messy beyond recognition, naked but for a corner of the duvet flung over his hips, mouth ever so slightly open, face slack in relaxation. This is weird. He's gotten used to Sasuke being wired, alert, aware the entire time he's known him, bar those few hours of exhaustion-induced sleep. This display of trust is astounding, and he violently loathes the fact that he's going to have to wake him up enough to poke and prod him into the shower and get the rest of their day on track, when he would much, much rather be slipping back into bed and spooning behind him, letting his warm weight soothe him back into unconsciousness.
He's stalling, and he knows it. He also knows Gaara will be here any minute now, and he would have no qualms about busting his door down and dragging him on Kumo still bare-assed.
Sasuke hummms and arches like a cat when Naruto kneels on the bed next to him and strokes up and down his back, unable to see all that naked skin and not touch it. It's strange being so--well, there's no other word for it, even if that one feels wrong in his mouth--tender with the bastard when they've spent the three days since they met alternately fighting and shouting at each other, but Naruto seems to have discovered his latent 'mother-hen' tendencies.
"Sasuke, time to wake up now."
Nothing.
"Oi, teme, come on. Don't make me dump you out on the floor along with the sheets, Hawking knows they need changing after the last hour."
Still nothing, although Sasuke's brow scrunches. Naruto makes a mental note to fuck him mindless whenever he needs to get his way. He contemplates grabbing him, but he doesn't particularly want to lose his arm; Sasuke might be passed out right now, but threaten him and watch him disembowel you before he's even woken up properly.
Sasuke rolls over, away from the irritant, and Naruto's widened eyes fall on his stiffie. Huh. Sasuke doesn't seem to have stamina issues. He does have to get himself in shape. He looks at the newly revealed sight consideringly, then nods, decision made.
Sasuke is floating in a pleasantly drowsy state, feeling completely safe for the first time in years. He hears voices, and feels people in the room, but nobody is radiating killing intent and he's not interrupting his nap for anything less than that. Besides, Naruto is there, he can take care of it. Then it all goes quiet again and he slips further into sleep. Until suddenly there's heat, heat and wetness and suction and he's definitely up now, in more ways than one. He lets out an unguarded moan when a tongue laps at the head of his cock, and then he's taken back into Naruto's (he presumes, and he'd rather imagine it's him than actually open his eyes and check) mouth and deeper still into his throat; Naruto swallows and Sasuke's eyes fly open at the constriction around the sensitive head.
"Fuck," he gasps, "do that again."
Naruto, however, will not be rushed. He pulls away slowly but implacably; with a final suck on the head he lets it pop out of his mouth and licks his lips.
"Back with us, are you? Hmmm, I'll have to remember that for next time."
"Are you going to pontificate, or are you going to suck my cock?" he snarks, looking pointedly at the object in question.
"Decisions, decisions," Naruto teases, and chuckles at Sasuke's scowl; then, in one swift move he sucks him back down to the root. Sasuke throws his head back so violently he can feel his neck protesting the strain. Naruto reaches down and squeezes his balls gently, then reaches further back and presses firmly on his perineum. Sasuke's hips snap up in reflex; he looks down at the top of the blond head bobbing in his lap. One hand is reaching behind himself, hidden from view--Naruto moans and jerks forward and Sasuke realises with a dizzying rush of lust that Naruto is fingering himself open, open for him. There's no stopping the moan that tumbles from his throat this time, and he has to bite his lower lip viciously to stop himself from coming. Only problem is, pain isn't that much of a deterrent anymore, not like it used to be before Naruto introduced shoulder-biting into the mix last time.
He grips at Naruto's hair and pulls him up high enough to look at, but not so high as to lose contact with the wet heat. He sees his cock stretching Naruto's mouth wide, lips tight and reddened around him and he can barely stop himself from exploding down that willing throat.
"You're either going to have to finish this or stop right now, otherwise it's going to be all over in fifteen seconds or so," he advises; Naruto grins around his mouthful and pulls off again.
"Well, when you put it like that..."
Then he's suddenly off the bed and walking away. Sasuke almost splutters in outrage.
"What the fucking hell?" he yells.
"I figure you need to cool off a bit before the main event, and we do need to shower rather desperately, so I thought we'd get two birds with one stone." Naruto's nonchalance would be a lot more convincing if he wasn't sporting a hard-on of epic proportions himself. He wiggles his ass suggestively as he steps into the bathroom cubicle, a shiny trail of lube left over on his right ass cheek. Sasuke is off the bed like it's on fire.
"You two done yet? It's been fifteen minutes! You really need to get going already! I'm giving you five more minutes and then I'm sending in a cleaning bot to spray the room down," Jiraiya says grumpily. He gets no response, but he knows they heard him--he made sure to broadcast throughout the quarters, shower included.
The shower door opens and a dripping wet Naruto literally falls out, laughing like a maniac. "Fuck's sake, chill. I won't tell anyone," he gasps out when an equally dripping Sasuke follows him out, habitual scowl back on his face. "Anyway," Naruto goes on, "did you have to push me so hard? I think I have your spunk stuck back on me now; the carpet isn't the cleanest place in the universe."
Sasuke makes a disgusted sound. "Must you be so vulgar?" he complains.
"You liked it ten minutes ago," Naruto suggests with a leer, unrepentant.
Sasuke flushes slightly, hunting around the room for a clean-ish towel to dry himself with. Naruto gets up off the floor and tosses him one from somewhere in the pile of clothes on the ground, picking another up for himself and rubbing at his chest briskly.
"Have you never heard of sonic laundry?" Sasuke snarks, nose twitching. The room absolutely stinks of sex and dirty clothes. He wonders how he managed not to notice before when he was fretting about Naruto's rate of healing. "I'm not coming back in here until you clean it up," he threatens, gingerly patting himself dry with the threadbare fabric. Naruto pauses, slightly panicked, then shrugs.
"I'll have Jiraiya's cleaning bot take care of it when it turns up, any minute now."
They dress quickly, even though Sasuke's leather pants seem to cause him a bit of trouble to tug back on. Naruto enjoys his predicament far too much, and would have told him not to bother, except just then the door slides open and the promised cleaning bot pokes an antenae in, beeping enquiringly.
"Come on in," Naruto tells it generously. "The room's all yours."
He tugs his long coat back on; Sasuke admires the way it flares at the back, white flames dancing along the bottom of the orange fabric. The black kanji for seven in the center of a wide red swirl takes up most of the back of it--Sasuke wonders momentarily what that's all about before shrugging. It's pretty, he supposes.
"Oh, thank Hawking, you're ready," Jiraiya says in a rush. "Gaara-sama's here. Get your asses to the hangar, pronto! You know how he hates being made to wait; it took me ages to get all the sand out from the carpets last time! Oh, and Sakura wants to speak to you before you go, I'm calling her over now. Pick her up at the Office."
"Roger," Naruto deadpans and sets off at a brisk walk. Sasuke catches up a few seconds later and keeps pace with ease. They turn the corner just in time to see Sakura's pink hair swing behind the Office door. Naruto slams a large hand on the pannel to keep it from closing. "Come on!" he urges, jiggling impatiently.
Sakura turns very slowly. "You are telling me to hurry up? You fucking hypocrite!"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm sorry, but I'm here now so can we get going already?"
Sakura rolls her eyes. She knows what he's like, she shouldn't get frustrated, she tells herself before huffing in irritation, grabbing the portable plasma screen on the table and shooing him away ahead of her. "Now listen up. I've done some research on Kumo's host. He's the brother of Kumogakure's captain, the Raikage. He has full control over his virus, but records suggest he has quite a temper. He has a weird love for poetry and rap, and if someone makes fun of them they are dead to him. It takes a lot to gain back his approval, so don't, whatever you do, for Hawking's sake don't diss his hobby. We need his help. You need his help. Don't fuck it up."
Naturo nods, smiling absently; Sakura just hopes he heard at least a word out of three, especially about her warning. He looks weird, she realizes after a moment of looking him up and down. He's... oh, for fuck's sake. Is he glowing? She looks at Sasuke, and sure enough--they are both fucking glowing. She strangles a laugh in her throat before it gets out--if she starts laughing now, she'll never, ever stop. She makes a mental note to tell everybody. They all need some fun after the past few weeks, and Naruto-baiting is top-of-the-line entertainment. Sasuke looks at her suspiciously when she makes a weird half-cough, half-snort sound, but she just shakes her head at him, looking amused.
Gaara and company are waiting in the hangar, the Puppeteer's shuttle landed neatly behind them. The shuttle only runs with ten crew, so their choice of entourage is limited. Gaara, Kankuro and Neji are the only three going from the Puppeteer, so that Naruto can have a lot more of his people at his back--he's the one at risk, after all. Kakashi and Sai are waiting nearby, chatting to their guests; Yamato and Gai have their heads close together; Gai's sparkling persona is suspiciously absent. It's all business, then. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke make their way over and everyone starts moving into the shuttle. Naruto claps Gaara on the back as he passes; Sasuke and Neji smirk at each other and raise equally snarky eyebrows of greeting. Sakura smiles at Gaara, whose lips twitch to indicate that he's smiling back at her.
Not much is said between the ten for the half-hour it takes to reach the Kumogakure. Naruto looks relaxed, but Sakura can see how tense his shoulders are, and apparently so can Gaara, who leans over to murmur something at him, getting a small smile back. Sasuke scowls and contemplates saying something; Kakashi's right foot mashing over his toes makes him think twice. Naruto does not need--what had Sai said? Manly posturing displays? He smiles--a tiny, self-mocking twist of his lips and receives an approving nod from Kakashi for his trouble. Gaara watches the interaction with interest, raising his own nonexistant eyebrow at Sasuke. Sasuke remains poker-faced, but Gaara leans back and away from Naruto, nodding very slightly to himself. He glares very, very hard at Sasuke, who interprets it correctly as a 'hurt him and you're so dead they'll be collecting atoms of you from all over the galaxy' kind of glare. He raises an eyebrow back, but his eyes hold no challenge. He's fine with that.
Onwards to Part Four!
