sirona_fics | Entries tagged with sobbing like a baby

So apparently, even a week later, I still have ALLL THE TRF FEELS EVER. I've pored over all the post-TRF fics I could find, have gorged myself on John's mysery and despair. However, I haven't been able to find a Mystrade fic that deals with the aftermath. And when, last night, I sat down to write a wee little thing about it, for the reason outlined below, I found I had all the words, and, er. This happened. It's actually not what I set out to write at all, but it turns out it's what wanted to get written, so.

Title: The Space Between
Pairing: Mycroft/Lestrade, hints of Sherlock/John
Rating: R
Word count: ~3,000
Warning: Spoilers for TRF, perceived character death, hurt/comfort, angst, hints of alcohol abuse.
Summary: In which Lestrade deals with the aftermath of the events showcased in TRF, vis-a-vis the other Holmes brother.
Notes: For the very wonderful

stardust_made, whose birthday was last week. I've only just found out, and wanted to write a little something to celebrate the start of her next trip around the sun.

( What's the point of giving anyone a key if you're going to make it impossible for him to use it a bloody week later? )

Current Mood: better
Crossposts: http://sirona-gs.livejournal.com/112787.html

( [SPOILERS] )

ETA: Oh, just, you know what? Go read this. All my John feels in a neat 900 words. Stars in my eyeballs all over again.

OH AND ALSO (thank you,

politt):

( Spoiler from Mark Gatiss' Twitter )

Current Mood: broken
Crossposts: http://sirona-gs.livejournal.com/110686.html

Got back from the cinema maybe an hour ago, AND I AM STILL BURSTING AT THE SEAMS. ( [SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT] )

Current Mood: impressed

( spoilers for 1.24 )

Current Mood: distressed

IT IS DONE.

66 pages and just over 17,000 words later, I have finished my dissertation. I wanted to throw up for a bit there, I was so wound up. But I can breathe again now that I've laid my paws on some booze and have eaten ALL THE THINGS. I look it over tomorrow, then I print it, get it bound, burnt to a CD, and I submit it on Wednesday.

AND THEN I SPEND THE REST OF TOMORROW PROCRASTINATING LIKE A BOSS. I will be watching the H50 finale, and then writing my black little heart out. I have so many things to write, that I actually want to write, it's brilliant!

One other reason, though, that makes me want to throw up is that, like I moaned to

andrealyn an hour ago, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get cut out of the H50 Big Bang. Which would be fair, you know, I didn't make the 20K wordcount, not by a long shot -- together with this morning's procrastination, it's just 200 words off 10K. It's making me sick, because I am totally in love with that story, but everything that's happened -- my nephew, help_japan, dissertation -- I just haven't had the time I've wanted to devote to it. It's making me so disappointed in myself.

I mean, I'm not gonna let it go. I am totally going to finish it, no matter whether I'm allowed to proceed or not. It's clamouring to be written in my head, and now that I CAN give it my undivided attention, it's going to pour or punch its way out of me, one way or another.

To be honest, I hadn't realised just how stressed I was making myself thinking about it until this morning.

sheafrotherdon has put up this gorgeous story that I loved, but there was a point in it where, ngl, I just burst into tears and sobbed for like ten minutes straight. ( Discussion of major character death under cut. I know I would like to be warned if I stumbled across this )

Yeah, weird, tell me about it. Anyway, I'm off to write Steve/Danny IN LOVE, ALWAYS IN LOVE, and maybe squeeze in watching the new Who ep somewhere, since people keep telling me it's the most awesome thing since ice cream. THE POINT IS, I CAN.

FOR YOUR TIME (shamelessly nabbed off

delicatale):

ETA: NNNNNNNNNNGH, ARMS.

Current Mood: accomplished

I feel so sad, so emotionally exhausted today, and it's all

gyzym's fault, her and pressed against the pending physics of my passed down last name. It's so heartbreakingly beautiful that it made me curl up in a ball of contentment and abject hopelessness and resignation and longing -- not a natural born combination, I know.

It's just -- back when this whole thing started (god, I'm making it sound as if the Arthur/Eames fandom has been going on for years, when it didn't really exist before June), I remember

syrraki saying she didn't like it, because all fandom really wants is Arthur and Eames having sex with each other. And okay, there's a lot of that, I'm not going to lie, and there's nothing wrong with that at all, we'd be hypocrites to complain about it. This story, though, this story is so damned powerful that I don't think anyone could say that the Arthur/Eames fandom is just about the sex after they read it.

No other fandom has made me crave having a significant other like this one has. And okay, this is in part a rather self-indulgent, whiny post, but jesus, I read this last night and I could cry, because I trully, really don't believe anyone will ever love me in my life the way Arthur loves Eames in that story; I just can't even articulate the magnitute of that feeling, and believe me, I've been trying for the past half hour. It's not even a particularly happy story, it deals with some very powerful personal issues, but it's still beyond anything I've ever read, and I don't know why it's affecting me this much, but I just can't stop thinking about it. Sometimes it's not the moments when we're happy, but the times when we are unbearably sad and close to breaking that are the most romantic of all.

I've tried cheering myself up by reading happy, fluffy fics, but I think the effect this story had on me is going to be a lot longer-lasting than just over the time it took me to read it. I mean, come on, I'm breaking out The Smiths -- this story is staying. No wonder Arthur/Eames is becoming my primary fandom of late; the overall quality of the writing is beyond anything I've ever encountered. I find myself doubtful that I'm ever going to purchase another romance novel in my life; the stories this fandom ekes out with astounding regularity make published romance literature somewhat obsolete for me.

Current Mood: melancholy

I don't know what it is about this round of the sn_exchange, but this fic I've just finished now must have been the fourth? fifth? fic that has made me bawl my eyes out. I normally say that I don't do sad endings, AND THIS IS WHY -- when done well, they turn me into an incoherent, miserable mess.

Maybe there were just as many sad fics in the last round, and I somehow managed to skip them, but I have a feeling that this round everyone's decided to try their hand at breaking my heart, AND THEY ARE SUCCEEDING ONLY TOO WELL. I'm still recovering from this latest one. /sniffle ;______; If anyone's interested, it was Lack the Luster that made me cry like a baby. WARNING: DO NOT READ WHEN SAD.

Having said that, there are some awesome, awesome uplifting pieces, too -- my particular favourite is Scores, Settled, which I cannot wait to find out who wrote. Possibly my favourite so far, though as usual the quality of writing in this exchange as a whole is well above and beyond the norm.

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: home
Current Music: A Doctor Who fanmix

We're gonna run out of cake at this rate

Entries tagged with sobbing like a baby

[Fic] The Space Between, Mycroft/Lestrade

Sherlock 2.03

Extreme spoilers for HPDH2 here. Ye be warned.

1.24

Oh my god it is finally over.

Lord knows it would be the first time

Stop breaking my heart, goddamn it!