Oh my god it is finally over.

[sirona_fics]

IT IS DONE.

66 pages and just over 17,000 words later, I have finished my dissertation. I wanted to throw up for a bit there, I was so wound up. But I can breathe again now that I've laid my paws on some booze and have eaten ALL THE THINGS. I look it over tomorrow, then I print it, get it bound, burnt to a CD, and I submit it on Wednesday.

AND THEN I SPEND THE REST OF TOMORROW PROCRASTINATING LIKE A BOSS. I will be watching the H50 finale, and then writing my black little heart out. I have so many things to write, that I actually want to write, it's brilliant!

One other reason, though, that makes me want to throw up is that, like I moaned to andrealyn an hour ago, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get cut out of the H50 Big Bang. Which would be fair, you know, I didn't make the 20K wordcount, not by a long shot -- together with this morning's procrastination, it's just 200 words off 10K. It's making me sick, because I am totally in love with that story, but everything that's happened -- my nephew, help_japan, dissertation -- I just haven't had the time I've wanted to devote to it. It's making me so disappointed in myself.

I mean, I'm not gonna let it go. I am totally going to finish it, no matter whether I'm allowed to proceed or not. It's clamouring to be written in my head, and now that I CAN give it my undivided attention, it's going to pour or punch its way out of me, one way or another.

To be honest, I hadn't realised just how stressed I was making myself thinking about it until this morning. sheafrotherdon has put up this gorgeous story that I loved, but there was a point in it where, ngl, I just burst into tears and sobbed for like ten minutes straight. Because I just kept thinking, well, what if Danny had died last ep? What if Steve couldn't do anything about it? He would have so taken on the guilt, and I would wager that it would be one loss too many, and that he'd go so insane that he'd commit suicide by bad guy not too long a time after -- maybe he'd go back to the SEALs, and would meet his doom somewhere out there, in the middle of a jungle or something. And I just kept thinking, Danny would be right there waiting for him. He'd be pissed, hella pissed, but he'd be there waiting for his Steve anyway. And then maybe they would finally be able to let go and be together. IDEK where it came from, but it had me bawling like a baby. And even god the surfer dude couldn't make me stop until I was done.

Yeah, weird, tell me about it. Anyway, I'm off to write Steve/Danny IN LOVE, ALWAYS IN LOVE, and maybe squeeze in watching the new Who ep somewhere, since people keep telling me it's the most awesome thing since ice cream. THE POINT IS, I CAN.

FOR YOUR TIME (shamelessly nabbed off delicatale):



ETA: NNNNNNNNNNGH, ARMS.

Comments

[shinysylver.livejournal.com]

In the middle of forcing my Big Bang to 20,000 I read sheafrotherdon's little ficlet about them in bed and nearly lost it. Then I saw the preview for the ep and even though I'd seen it before and it didn't have anything in it that would cause me too I started crying.

I was all: "Danny better be there for Steve because Steve has been abandoned before and he has trust issues and he needs his Danno."

And I was just sitting there crying and flapping my hands and my mom is like: "I'm afraid you're starting to lose touch with reality."

So yeah...me too.

Oh and congrats on the dissertation. :D

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

CONGRATS ON FINISHING YOUR BIG BANG!!! THIS IS HUGE, VERY WELL DONE, YOU!! /showers you in confetti/

YES YES THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING, OH MY GOD. I don't know why it hit me so bad, so hard, but I literally had to get up to fetch tissues because i was making a mess all over my t-shirt. OH MY GOD SHOW, PLEASE DON'T BREAK MY HEART. T_____T

[shinysylver.livejournal.com]

Thanks...now the hard part though because revising that thing into something that I won't be ashamed to post is going to be hard.

And yeah...I am going to blame my on edge emotions on the nonstop writing and you can too. *nods* Well that and my bordering on unhealthy level of love for Steve.

Gosh I am so excited/terrified for tonight.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

Even if you get cut out of Big Bang, it really shouldn't matter - if you want to write it, I say go for it and I WILL CHEER YOU ON THROUGH ALL OF IT and it's not because it's not posted through big bang that it can't be posted at all! I, myself, cannot wait to read it!

Now, we can celebrate by writing Danny and Steve IN LOVE together. I AM HONESTLY SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS STORY.

And watch the new Dr Who because homg homg it's most excellent!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

No, I know, I will NEVER abandon that story, it has got its sneaky clutches in me like whoa. 17-year-old Danny's just about to meet the love of his life Steve. TELL ME HOW I COULD POSSIBLY LEAVE IT THERE. It's not happening. I just feel disappointed in myself for not making it in time, but honestly, I'd be okay about it. I know I did everything possible under the circumstances.

INDEED, LET US WRITE STEVE AND DANNY BEING IN LOVE FOREVER. I WILL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. /twirls imaginary moustache/ ME TOO, BABE, ME TOO. Who wouldn't be??? BOXER DANNY ALL SWEATY AND NNNNNNGH, AND STEVE BEING ALL HEARTSEYES AT HIM. OH YES.

I know, I know, omg, people keep saying that to meeeee!! AND I WILL FINALLY WATCH IT TONIGHT IN BETWEEN STORY UPDATES. It's a deal.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

OMNOMNOM GIVE IT TO MEEEEE.

YUM, BOXER DANNY, WHY IS IT SO HOT? IT'S SO HOT. OH GOD HE IS SO HOT. AND STEVE LOVES HIM SO SO MUCH. DAN DANNY LOVES HIM BACK SO SO MUCH. HEE. God I need icons of Boxer!Danny.

\o/ I fell in love so hard with that episode, seriouslyyyyy.

ALSO, WOMAN, SHAMELESS THIEF. (it's okay I love you anyway.)

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

NOW EDITED FOR EXTRA NNNNNNNNNNNGH. YOU KNOW WHERE HE GOT THOSE ARMS, DON'T YOU. /nodnod/

YOU MEAN LIKE THIS ONE?



YOU'RE WELCOME. <3

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

OH HIS FLUFFY FURRY ARMS ♥___♥.

OH OH YES YESSSSS HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S SOME MAFIA HAND IN THAT SHOT OH I LOVE IT THANK YOU.

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

THOSE SHOULDERS, I SWEAR TO GOD. I HAVE SUCH A MASSIVE HARD-ON FOR THEM THAT I GIVE STEVE ONE, TOO, EVERY CHANCE I GET, HURR HURR.

♥!

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

HURR HURR. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS BODY I'M NOT GONNA LIE. HIS NARROW WAIST AND HIS HANDS AND HIS COLLARBONES AND HIS BACK AND HIS EYES AND HIS ASS I JUST. I GET SUCH UNLADYLIKE THOUGHTS.

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

THAT ONLY MEANS YOU'RE HUMAN, BABE. WE CAN'T BLAME STEVE, EITHER. I LOVE HIS HAAAAAANDS, NNNNNGH. BUT HIS SHOULDERS ARE MY FAVOURITES, PRECIOUS.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

NNNGGGGGHHHHH OVERALL. (btw I am hanging out at the chat bit on our gdoc =D)

[syrraki.livejournal.com]

congratulations on finishing your dissertation!! OMG WELL DONE.
also, well done on eating ALL THE THINGS.

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU, DARLING, THANK YOU. /bows/

[kitmerlot1213.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on finishing your dissertation--YEAH!!

Re: H50, I am beyond worried that the show is going to have the Fearsome Foursome split up and angry with each other, which will be extremely painful for all of us to watch.

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU!!

Well, show's been so good in terms of the foursome dynamic, I'm really hoping it won't go down that route. I hope they'll be able to handle it and let them keep their love and devotion to each other! D: I am really worried too, though. I've been talking with zarah5 about handholding and how much I wish there was someone to do it with while we watch! D:

[nini-darko.livejournal.com]

That must be such a tremendous relief to be done, congrats! My thesis was only about half that length and even then I wanted to throw up when I was done. (I was also excited not to have to sit in the rain and count geese anymore, so).

Also, you will never be able to convince me that the second surfboard is not Alex's. Because it just is. And shoulders! Scotty Caan your shoulders are cheating and not fair at all!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

Oh god, it really, really is! D: I feel like all I've done is live and breathe this thing for months now!

IT MUST BE SO, OH YES. AND SHOULDERS. NNNNNGH SCOTTY'S SHOULDERS, I WANT TO LICK THEM AND KISS THEM AND BITE THEM, OH MY GOD. ALTERNATIVELY, I WANT TO WATCH STEVE DO IT. *_____* I HAVE SUCH A KINK FOR THEM!!

[law-of-tarts.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on finishing your dissertation!!! What a huge accomplishment.

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, darling! <3 You're too kind!

[fred-bear.livejournal.com]

Yay! Congratulations, that's an awesome achievement! ;)

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!!! <3

[jibrailis.livejournal.com]

CONGRATULATIONS

I am throwing virtual confetti all over the place right now!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

Thank you darling!! <333

[zarah5.livejournal.com]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Awesome feeling, isn't it? And, okay. This makes the finale better, doesn't it?

Dropping in to say: I'm game if you are. And ready to post - actually, putting the Top Ten together made me feel a lot better!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

Thanks, babe! It really, really is! <3 Went to bet it printed and bound today, I submit it tomorrow morning after 10am.

Still not over the finale. I don't think I will be until September rolls by! D: I'm so sorry I'm not done with my top ten, love! ut if you want to post it tonight, you go right ahead, and I'll put it together for tomorrow maybe? It's up to you! <3

[zarah5.livejournal.com]

Ha, and then you put it on the shelf and you'll probably never look at it again... *g*

No, not over it, either. My head is still spinning and I'm trying to work out how to answer your "Fix it" question. I have something in my head, at least for the Danny/Rachel part of things, but my brain is not quite ready to spit it out. Tomorrow, I think. Both for the picspams and me trying to come up with an answer. Sounds good. *tentative smile*

OH GOD WHY?!?!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

T____________T

That has been my face ALL DAY bar the time I spent crying on shoulder talking to delicatale and andrealyn, who distracted me with shiny, shiny fic to write/beta and just about saved my sanity and put my shattered heart back together. D:

Um. I'm sorry I confused you? D: My head is not in its right place right now. I am going to bury myself in andrealyn's glorious fic so i feel a little better! <3

I kind of really need a hug, SO HERE, IMAGINE THIS IS ME:

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

Just to let you know, pic spam now ready! <3 I'm setting off on my drive home in about ten minutes, so about three hours from now I'll be ready to post -- and then all that remains is for us to synch! <333 LET ME KNOW WHAT TIME IS GOOD FOR YOU! i AM EXCITE!!! \0/

[zarah5.livejournal.com]

Yay! Mine should be basically ready, too. 15 minutes from now? Are you around? Whee!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

I am!! Shall we say 8pm sharp? That would make it 6pm where you are, y/y? I AM EXCITE!!

[zarah5.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm GMT+1, so I think you mean 7 p.m. sharp. 7 minutes from now, whee! Sounds good!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

WELL, YOU GET MY POINT. <3 D'you wanna make a post to the comm to let people know, too? With both our links?

[zarah5.livejournal.com]

Sounds good to me! Would you put together? Am in a bit of a rush. &hearts

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

Sure, bb! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOURS!! <333

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

I wish I had the time to leave a properly giftastic comment, but I wanted to at least drop in and say OMG CONGRATULATIONS BB~!!

And aaawww, I'm sorry it seems like the Big Bang thing isn't going to work out, but I'm glad you're writing it anyway! I'm really excited about it!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU THANK YOU!! /bows/

Actually, seems like there will be an extention until 1st June, and there's four official holiday days coming up, which I will be spending at work, since I took so much time off to finish the dratted thing, and NOTHING AT ALL WILL BE HAPPENING, AND SO I SHALL SPEND 48 SOLID HOURS WRITING ALLLLLLLL THE WORDS AND FINISHING THE THING. I AM EXCITE!!

Haha look I stole your icon; it was too awesome not to take

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!

GANBATTE!! \o/

Speaking of exciting, I'm rewatching The Doctor's Wife for the first time. I've actually been saving it up so my brain is fresh and I can appreciate it as much as possible. ...It's so beautiful~! TT_TT I'M SO IN LOVE.

STEAL AWAY! IT IS BY bm_shipper! <3

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

Yatai!!! \0/

I HAVE YET TO SEE THAT, OH MY GOD, I AM SUCH A LOUSY FAN, WHAT EVEN. D: D: D: I WILL GET THERE! /determined face/ AND THEN I WILL SPAM YOU WITH SQUEE. LIKE I DO.

Yes, thx, I already have it tagged appropriately~ <3

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. I kinda maybe thought not, since you hadn't made a spazzflail post about it or anything. XD;

...WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?

Re: Yes, thx, I already have it tagged appropriately~ <3

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

D: D: D: D: D:

I AM SITTING IN STARBUCKS COMPILING MY TOP TEN MCDANNO MOMENTS FROM SEASON 1. IT IS MAYBE NOT A CONDUSIVE ENVIRONMENT TO WATCH THE EP, CONSIDERING HOW MUCH HANDGLAPPING AND SQUEEAGE I AM LIKELY TO INDULGE IN.

Hahaha ohmigod appropriate use of icon is appropriate!

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

Ffffff, well you're no fun, I was going to offer to watch it with you. XD; NEVERMIND~!

Re: Hahaha ohmigod appropriate use of icon is appropriate!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

I KNOW YOU WERE, AND I WEEP TEARS OF WOE THAT I CAN'T TAKE SHAMELESS ADVANTAGE (HENCE THE USE OF ICON. BECAUSE I WEEP. WEEP).

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

I AGREE IT IS INSUFFERABLY TRAGIC.

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

IT'S JUST THAT I... UH. GET VERY VOCAL IN MY APPRECIATION/APPROVAL OF DOCTOR WHO/GNEIL/MATT SMITH'S FAAAAACE. AND I LIKE THIS STARBUCKS, AND I WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO COME BACK HERE.

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

IT IS OKAY, THERE WOULD DEFINITELY BE VOCALIZATIONS, I WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO BE EMBARRASSINGLY NERDY IN PUBLIC.

...FFFFFFFFFFFF WHY AM I AWAKE, I AM GOING TO STOP BEING AWAKE NOW.