Rambling post is rambling

[sirona_fics]

So kitsune_tsuki posted this pic:



AMD IMMEDIATELY ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS STEVE AND DANNY SNUGGLING AND BEING IN LOOOOOVE. WHAT HAS THIS SHOW DONE TO ME, WHAT. D:

In other news, spent most of yesterday squeeing over Inception fic and planning my next three tattoos. Before you go O____O WHAT, they're all snippets of text I want to get done. One of them I've been thinking about for a long time, but yesterday I finally got to reading weatherfront's latest, and the message just kind of slammed into me all over again, and suddenly I had my words. I want "life is in the small things" on the inside of my left arm, near the wrist. Then I want a quote from Neil Gaiman on my right ankle, "fragile things can prove remarkably difficult to kill". Because they are, and I need the reminder to NOT BE AFRAID ALL THE TIME, like I am -- of failure, of getting my heart ripped to pieces, of things not working out, of taking a leap. And then I want the first three lines from the most inspiring poem on writing I have ever read, "So you want to be a writer?" by Charles Bukowski. I know I keep going on about him and it, but seriously, I've never seen/heard/read something on the process of writing that resonated so completely with me. They're "if it doesn't come bursting out of you/ in spite of everything,/ don't do it.", and I want them on the inside of my right arm, running up it, not across.

Here's the thing. I'm a little concerned about having the ones on my wrists done, because they would always be visible, no matter what -- I always wear long-sleeved tops with my sleeves rolled up, no matter the time of year/ what the top is, shirt, sweater, whatever. So I keep thinking whether that might influence my employment options in the future. But I've thought and thought about it, and honestly, if I was to get them done, I only want them in those places. I've also thought about getting custom-made leather wrist sheaths that button/zip over the tattoos so they're not visible. Thoughts? They're not going to be huge chunks of black ink, just thin-ish lines in a certain font (small caps Antigua).

And quite apart from that, I still want Errol (sorry, tiny image) on my right shoulder, tail curled around the letter N, for baby Nicky. But this one is colour, much bigger and more complicated than the lines of text, and so it will require a bigger time investment.

Actually, just found out I didn't end up getting that job I was talking about at the start of the week. Via text message. No, I'm not bitter, why do you ask? SO FUCK IT. I might just go get those text lines done this weekend. I'm so tired of this shit. /sigh/ I wish for once something would fucking go my way. I keep telling myself that if it hasn't happened, obviously it wasn't right for me, and I'm waiting for something else to come along (it's happened to me far too many times before to discount it as just random reassurance), but right now? I just want to punch someone in the face. :/

I was going to use my happy!Steve icon for this post, but see re: punching someone inna face. Possibly not the best news to get in the middle of a morning shift with not much sleep the previous night. Deep breaths, Neve.

Comments

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

The whole poem is astounding. One of the most poignant pieces of writing I have had the pleasure of reading.

[alamo-girl80.livejournal.com]

It IS glorious. I just read the entire thing. Makes me feel so unworthy.

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

Makes me feel like I'm flying, soaring, because this is exactly how writing works for me. It bursts out, and there's no stopping it, not until the story is told. And to see someone like Bukowski endorse that... WELL. Makes me feel like King Kong on speed, ngl. I read it every time I need the reassurance that no, I'm not in fact insane, or a freak, or a strange little person for feeling this way about my writing, my stories.

[alamo-girl80.livejournal.com]

Ha! Yeah it does that to me too, but not all the time. Sometimes I am possessed and sometimes, it has to be wrung out of me.

But hey, the freak club has cookies. I like my freak club membership.