We're gonna run out of cake at this rate

Last night, thanks to Tailoredshirt I had me delicious dreams of Steve and Danny -- that sadly I don't remember in the light of day. BUT I KNOW THEY WERE LOVELY. What I do remember is that Steve had dragged a gorram catapult from somewhere, and set it up on the beach, where it was all the rage with the kids (including Gracie). And Danny was Not Happy about that. IDEK, brain, but you did quite well, I thought, especially with regards to what Steve was wearing (hint: not much).

Right. I designate today a Getting Shit Done day. Parents are going away for the weekend, which means I shall have the flat to myself! \0/ Sadly, instead of throwing a party I intend to work on my Letter of Intent -- I want to have all the documents required ready for submission by Monday, 31st Oct.

Meanwhile, Hush is on telly! \0/ It's one of my most favourite Buffy eps! :D It was immediately preceded by the episode where Buffy and Spike were going to get married (caused by Willow's spell). Season 4 wasn't the best ever, but damn, there were some gems in it! I HAVE MISSED YOU, BUFF. It's making me feel very nostalgic -- this was the first TV series I watched in real time, as it was aired, and it directly coincided with my own experiences. I was in school at the same time, starting uni at the same time as Buff and the Scooby gang, and it had a huge influence on me. I'm pretty sure it was one of the things that kept me sane way back when, 17 and so far away from home for the first time. If it hadn't been for Buffy, I don't know that I would have got through all the shit without it breaking me. ILU, BIT. <3 And thank you, Joss, with all my heart. ♥ You are the best ever.

Sooo. Remember that bit of Tangled where Rapunzel was ecstatic to be free one moment and guilt-ridden the next? A bit like this?



That was me, all day yesterday. I think I am leaning towards this by now:



Mind you, I've still got everyone else to tell, and I'm kind of dreading my friend's response to this, but it's got to be done. I've emailed the Academic Coordinator for the course, and I'm waiting on her reply now so I can start sorting out the documents.

Other than that, spent yesterday working on the cop!Erik AU. I am now tethering between 'holy shit this is such crap' and 'I quite like this, actually', which is about the right stage of my creative process. I AM SO CLOSE TO FINISHING IT. SO CLOSE I CAN SMELL IT. Maybe another 5K, tops, if another scene doesn't shoehorn itself into it (this keeps happening. Probably the reason it's now 35K long). Read a pretty clever essay yesterday on the arist's place within the creative process, by Marcel Duchamp, in which he describes it as follows:

To all appearances, the artist acts like a mediumistic being who, from the labyrinth beyond time and space, seeks his way out to a clearing. If we give the attributes of a medium to the artist, we must then deny him the state of consciousness on the esthetic plane about what he is doing or why he is doing it. All his decisions in the artistic execution of the work rest with pure intuition and cannot be translated into a self-analysis, spoken or written, or even thought out.

In the creative act, the artist goes from intention to realization through a chain of totally subjective reactions. His struggle toward the realization is a series of efforts, pains, satisfaction, refusals, decisions, which also cannot and must not be fully self-conscious, at least on the esthetic plane.

Full article here

Which basically to me translates as 'the story uses you so it can be told. You have no say in it; you can only try and use the right words to do so -- this is about the entire size and shape of your influence in the matter.' That's how writing works for me most of the time -- the story is suddenly there, and all I can do is tell it while it's letting me, and use my intuition to figure out how. Sometimes I've no idea where it all comes from, why it takes the shape it does; sometimes it's all I can do to follow along with what I'm writing (hence the feeling of 'it's shit'). Most of the time, though (and this is what I cling to), when I re-read it I am astounded by how coherent the whole thing is. (This article also makes a very interesting point as applied to fanfiction, for those who follow the fanfic vs. original fic debate.)

Watched Doctor Who finally last night. I... kind of don't want to think about it too much. I'm going to re-watch all the eps since Let's Kill Hitler in the hope that it'll all make sense (which, I realise what I'm talking about, it probably won't).

Right. Today: finish the cop!Erik AU, finish my h50_exchange, get my legs waxed, pack, burn Night Watch onto CDs for listening in the car tomorrow. AND THEN TOMORROW MORNING, H50 WILL BRING ITS MAGIC BACK INTO THE WORLD. \0/ \0/ \0/ I am excite!! :D

Watched what there is of Suits tonight. Totally loved it, although I'm not really shipping Harvey/Mike. Possibly because I like my ships to be on a more even footing, and in this let's be honest, most of the power is with Harvey. Having said that, LOVED. IT. And will be watching as much of it as I can get my hands on. Also watched eps 5 and 6 of White Collar finally. My god, the end of ep 5. PETER BURKE ILU SO MUCH. ♥♥♥

Not really feeling like reading stuff at the mo (too fucking hot) so I also watched The Lake House again yesterday. In a bizarre twist, I think the pairing I was least certain about might prove to be the most apt here: Steve/Danny is what I'm talking about. Because Danny can totally be Alex and Matty the brother, and Steve can be the doc with Jack. Perfect. Other fic plannage has also been happening -- more soon, I hope!

It's going to be 40C tomorrow. DDD: OH GOD. There's code Orange declared in my county. Thankfully there's also supposed to be proper storms tomorrow night, and it'll cool the air down a bit. I'll sleep like a baby tomorrow night, but tonight it's anyone's guess. I mostly sleep in my panties at the mo, no blanket, no sheet, no nothing -- too fucking hot, I'm not kidding. I HATE THE SUMMER SO MUCH. DX

Next stop -- Luther. FINALLY, after like a year of zolac_no_miko telling me to 'watch it right now, goddamn it'. And other films/TV I feel like, for as long as this phase lasts. I've A Lot to catch up on.

For your time: ( Tom Hardy, what are you even. *_______* )